


Yorkshire FC

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: AU, M/M, footballer AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 20:05:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 60,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13488804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: A new multi chapter AU from me! Robert is a famour footballer, the darling of the premiership and the England squad. He can do no wrong. He comes back to Emmerdale, resting due to an injury, where he meets Aaron. And we go from there...Rated explicit for ch 12, but can be skipped if that's not your thing.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is one of my long ass AU's again! Hope someone will be interested. I know there's a few footballer AUs out there, but tbh I miss writing Fickle Fortune, and Read All About It from the beginning, so I wanted to try a new challenge. This is just a small chapter to start. Also, I anticipate a lot of problems with Robert coming out, as he's in the closet here even to himself. So if that's not your thing you'll probably want to skip!

Robert groaned, rolling his eyes as his beloved Porsche came to a stop in the middle of a country road. He turned the steering wheel towards the hedge, so he’d be tucked in a lay-by as the engine died. Robert sighed, trying the engine again, but nothing happened. He had two choices, he could either call for the AA to come and pick him up, but knowing he was in the middle of Yorkshire, it would take them hours to find him, so that wasn’t overly enticing. He could walk home, but with his leg injury that wasn’t a good option either. He didn’t want to aggravate it or make it any worse.

So he googled the number for the garage in Emmerdale. He just hoped when he found the phone number he didn’t get Cain. He could do without the condescension right now, and dealing with Cain Dingle while broken down with an injured leg didn’t feel like a particularly attractive prospect. He called the number and a gruff voice answered. “Yeah?”

“Hi, I’ve broken down on Hotten road, just coming into the village. Could you come and have a look at it please?”

“Yeah, hang on,” the man said with a sigh. Robert could hear the shuffling of papers. “Give me the car details?” Robert parroted them back. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“Thanks,” Robert said, hanging up the call and grateful he hadn’t been asked for his name. Robert Sugden, just those two words brought unwanted attention for him these days. He’d lived in Emmerdale when he wasn’t playing football for most of his life, and now injured, he’d be cooped up here for a few more weeks than he’d like. Even if the football season had ended over the summer, Robert didn’t like the fact that he’d be out of action for so many weeks. He’d get out of shape, and he couldn’t afford for that to happen. At 27 he still had a good few years of his career left, but he had to stay injury free and be careful.

Robert was disrupted by his thoughts about his playing careeer by a knock on his car window. Not Cain. A guy, maybe in his early twenties who looked decidedly grumpy stood there. It was obvious he was from the garage, wearing blue overalls, though the arms were tied at his waist. Robert got out of the car, and he saw it when this man recognised his face.

“Oh,” he said, looking Robert up and down in a way that was certainly assessing, judging. “Didn’t know it was you.”

“Hello to you too,” Robert said. “The car just stopped, the engine cut out.”

“Right,” he said, bending over the bonnet. He hmmed as he looked at the engine, a focused look coming over his face, Robert leaning against the car. He looked up and hoped it wouldn’t rain, that would make a bad situation even worse.

“I’m Robert,” he said.

“I know exactly who you are,” he said and Robert rolled his eyes. So much for a reciprocated name. He just wanted to get home, politeness be damned. “Aaron.” The word was short, almost grunted, but he seemed to realise that Robert was waiting.

“Does Cain still work at the garage?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Pleased to get out of there actually, he’s got a right mood on.”

“Is that different to any other day?” Robert asked. Aaron looked up from the engine, amused. His face hadn’t changed at all, but his eyes were bright with humour. The atmosphere had certainly lost it’s harsh edge anyway.

“Yeah, I’m going to have to tow this back to the garage,” Aaron said. “I don’t think I can fix this here.”

“Great,” Robert said under his breath. Aaron glared. “No, I’m not blaming you, I just… I need my car.”

“What, haven’t you got ten replacements for it?”

“No, not in Yorkshire,” Robert said. “I thought I’d keep them on my multi million pound yacht.” Aaron looked at him sharply, as if unable to decide whether he was joking or not. “Can you give me a lift back to mine?” Robert asked. Aaron looked immovable. “You must know I live at Home Farm.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Didn’t know you were moving here regularly though.”

“Well, I didn’t plan to make my announcement in a broken down car,” Robert said, then relaxed a little. “It’s home, you know? I just need somewhere that people don’t stare at me all the time, and half this village have known me since I was crawling.” Aaron huffed. For the first time he didn’t look like he was pissed off with the world. “I assume the village is the same as it always was.”

“A bit lively sometimes,” Aaron said. “But yeah.”

“Good,” Robert said. “So, a lift?”

“Yeah, come on,” Aaron said. “Give me the keys and I’ll come back and pick up your car on my way back.” Robert did willingly, getting into Aaron’s pick up. Aaron stared at him though, Roberts left leg was stiff, and he hoped he was hiding it, but clearly not well enough.

“I thought you were a footballer?” Aaron said, getting into the drivers seat.

“You don’t follow Yorkshire FC, then, do you?” Robert said. Aaron shrugged. “Hamstring. Should be better in a few weeks.” _Please God,_ Robert thought silently. He needed to recover, and to recover well. He already had physiotherapists lined up for the next few weeks. He couldn’t be off his leg for that long. It was the summer, so he didn’t have any matches for a while, but…

“What’re you going to do for the next month then?” Aaron asked.

“Buy a different car apparently,” Robert said. Then, “No, I’ll get settled in here. I’ve never really lived here, not since I was a kid. I just used the house to store most of my stuff, but… I’m coming home to live here properly.”

“Mm,” Aaron said, like he was disinterested. Robert shot him a quick look in profile, almost appraising him, this stranger. He was good looking, way too grumpy, though Robert had to admit if he was working with Cain Dingle, he might have a permanent scowl on his face too. Young. Well built though. He looked like he could throw a decent punch in a fight, that was for sure. Robert looked away when Aaron caught him staring.

“So…” Aaron cleared his throat. “Do you know many people here?”

“Besides Vic and Diane?” Robert asked. “No, not really. Doesn’t matter, I’m sure I’ll fit in. Eventually. Just need to get into a fist fight and sleep with my brothers wife then it'll be like I never left, right?”

“Mm,” Aaron said, showing no surprise at those details into his history. They weren't well known outside of the village, so Aaron had to have been listening to Andy, or the gossip about him. He turned into the driveway and pulled up. Robert sighed, it was about half a mile walk down to the house.

“Come on, please,” Robert said. “I can barely walk.”

“What, wouldn’t do for me to endanger the most beloved striker in England's leg would it?”

“Who said that about me?” Robert asked with a raised eyebrow, and if Aaron were the kind of man to blush, he would have, Robert could tell and he laughed easily. Aaron didn’t take it the wrong way, thankfully.

“There you are,” Aaron said outside the front door. “Call tomorrow to check on your car.”

“I will,” Robert said. “Thanks.” He got out, grabbing his house keys from his jeans and unlocking the house. He wasn’t thinking about bright blue eyes for the rest of the day though. Of course not.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the moment these chapters seem to be shorter than usual, but I hope they're not too short! A massive thank you for the support for chapter one, and I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone!

The next day Aaron was under a car when he heard footsteps approaching Dan was doing God knows what and Cain was on his lunch break which meant he was on his own. “Hang on,” he shouted, finishing his job before getting out from under the car. It was Robert Sugden, jeans, leather jacket and looking far more put together than Aaron would like when he himself was covered in oil. “Oh. It’s you,” Aaron said, standing up.

“Hi,” Robert said, offering a coffee. “To say thanks for the lift yesterday.”

Aaron took the coffee but looked at Robert warily. Robert (by reputation alone) wasn’t the kind of man to do something for nothing. “The car’s not ready yet. We’ve got to order a part in. I was going to call you after I'm finished with this one.”

“How long will that take?”

“Should be ready by Thursday,” Aaron said. “Sorry,” he added

“No, it’s all right,” Robert said, though he didn’t look exactly happy. “I know it’s a pain to get parts for it.”

“Then why do you drive it?” Aaron asked.

“I’m allowed a few indulgences,” Robert said with half a grin.

“I guess so,” Aaron said. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“How come you’re working here?” Robert asked, not wanting the conversation to end. Aaron looked at him, as if debating how much of the truth to say.

“Family wanted to keep me out of trouble so I don’t end up in prison again,” Aaron said, surprising Robert which had been his goal.

“What were you in prison for?” Robert asked.

“Looking out for a mate,” Aaron said, not wanting to go into the whole Adam arson thing.

“You’re some mate then,” Robert said.

“Yeah, I am,” Aaron said with a smile. They were interrupted by the phone ringing and Aaron turned to answer it, conversation essentially over. Robert left the garage, thinking to himself. He was intrigued by Aaron, he couldn’t help it. There was something about him that made Robert want to know more.

* * *

Aaron knocked on the door of Home Farm, hearing a call of “It’s open!” and let himself in. Aaron was surprised to find Robert on the living room floor, a woman who was clearly a physical therapist or something examining Robert’s left leg. Aaron stood, feeling incredibly uncomfortable like a third wheel. “Er… hi. I can come back later,” he suggested.

“No, don't worry we’re nearly done,” Robert said.

“How’s that feel?” the woman asked.

“Tender,” Robert said. “Not exactly painful though.”

“Good,” she said, getting up. “It’s healing then. Keep doing those exercises but please Robert, don’t push it.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said and even Aaron could tell he didn't mean it.

“I mean it,” she said. “Take it slow, all right?”

“I’m a professional footballer, that’s a competitive kind of job,” Robert said, and she rolled her eyes. “Thanks,” Robert said. “See you Monday.” The woman moved passed Aaron in the doorway, Aaron trying not to look at Robert’s bare legs. Robert grabbed a pair of jogging trousers and pulled them on quickly. Aaron wasn’t sure if he’d noticed his staring or not, his face didn't give anything away.

“Sorry about that,” he said. “The car?”

“Er, yeah,” Aaron said, shaking himself out of his stupor. “I drove it up, it’s fixed.”

“How much?”

“Nine hundred quid,” Aaron said.

“What?!” Robert said in disbelief.

“Towing fee, parts, labour,” Aaron said. “Not like you can’t afford it.”

“Is this Cain’s doing?” Robert asked, going through the desk drawer for his check book.

“I told you it wasn’t an easy job,” Aaron said. “Not my fault you drive a car that falls apart.” Robert sighed, but didn’t argue, signing the check and handing it over.

“How’s the leg doing?” Aaron asked. Robert shook his head.

“Slow,” Robert said. “I’m impatient and I want to be back on the pitch.”

“I’m sure you’ll be back to being an overpaid arrogant footballer in no time,” Aaron said.

“Right…”

“Sorry, that sounded better in my head,” Aaron said. “I didn’t mean… Just forget it.”

“It’s all right,” Robert said. “I’ve heard far worse.”

“I should go,” Aaron said, almost shuffling towards the door.

“Wait, how’re you getting back to the village?” Robert asked.

“I’ll walk,” Aaron said with a shrug like he didn’t care.

“Look, I’m having a small party here on Saturday night,” Robert said. “Sort of... a housewarming and a mix of I hope Andy doesn’t kill me if I stay in the village.” Aaron smiled at that. “Come if you want to.”

“Ah, I don’t know,” Aaron said. “A bunch of rich footballers?”

“It’s not like that. There’ll be three, max. I’m not inviting the whole squad round. I’d only do that if I wanted the place trashed.” Aaron smiled, feeling more at ease. “Adam and Vic are coming, you can hide with them in a corner if you want to and it’s terrible.”

“I’ll think about it,” Aaron said, and Robert could sense that was as good as it got with Aaron and he nodded.

“Great. Thanks for the car.”

“No problem.” Aaron turned and left, and Robert watched him go for a little longer than maybe he should.

* * *

Aaron tucked himself up in the corner of the pub, nursing a pint that night while thinking hard. He’d not really considered Robert before. He knew enough, he’d heard stuff from Andy and Vic and general village gossip. Cheated with Katie behind Andy’s back. Had talent on the pitch, left for training at seventeen, leaving the village far behind him. Robert had a reputation around here, one it was actually surprising the national media hadn’t picked up on. But then again, Emmerdale could be quite closed lipped. Outsiders were rarely welcomed here, because of how tight knit a community it was.

His mind wandered back to Robert. He knew he was a good footballer, always had known it about Vic’s brother. But… he hadn’t really looked. To be fair, whenever Aaron saw him on the telly, he was about two inches tall on a green football pitch, but Aaron had never actually looked at him. Chas probably did in her trashy magazines, but Aaron was not the kind of man to pay attention to that celebrity nonsense.

But now he’d talked to him a few times in reality, at close quarters, Aaron could admit to himself, he was attracted to him. Actually, he really fancied him, and seeing him without his trousers, seeing the freckled skin of his muscled legs that afternoon was not helping him. He’d fancied straight guys before, he’d get over it. But for now, he was going to indulge in a few harmless fantasies. There was nothing wrong with that, right?


	3. Chapter 3

Aaron had questioned the wisdom of going to Robert’s stupid party right up until Saturday night. But one thing Robert said was true, Adam was going, being dragged there by Vic, but still. So Aaron decided to go with his best mate. At the very least, it’d be a couple of free drinks on Robert anyway.

Vic drove them up there, knowing that the only way Adam would have gone to Robert’s house was with the promise of alcohol. They walked in, and there was already a small crowd there, the music thumping through the house. Andy and Katie were there, Andy looking much happier than his soon to be wife, who didn’t look like mending fences was on her mind any time soon. Tracy had already pilfered a bottle of wine, Finn was there too, who seemed to have turned up by accident, a couple of way too polished footballers and their apparent dates. Robert hadn’t been lying, it wasn’t a big gathering. Though he did have his hands all over a blonde woman, laughing with her in the kitchen.

“Who’s the blonde?” Vic asked, in lieu of hello as she approached her brother, and said blonde woman wandered off.

“A friend,” Robert said. 

“Looked a bit more than that,” Vic said with wide eyes.

“Vic, don’t,” Robert said. “I’m allowed to have friends.”

“I just want to see you settled down and happy,” Vic said, watching him seriously. “That’s all I want.”

“I might be single, but I don’t have a bad life, Vic,” Robert said. “Help yourself to drinks.”

“I’m driving.”

“Ah, you can sleep here,” Robert said. “I’ve got plenty of bedrooms and I want you to have fun.”

“Thanks!” Vic said brightly, grabbing a bottle of red wine and pouring herself a glass, Robert smiling at her. Robert caught Aaron’s eye, smiled and then nodded, pleased he was here for a reason he couldn’t have put a name to. Aaron grabbed a beer and he and Adam slid through to the games room. There was a dartboard on the wall, and Aaron nodded, taking the set of arrows off the board. Adam took the hint and smiled, setting up a game.

* * *

Robert was quite pleased with the turn out. Chris and Daniel from his team had showed up, as had Louise, Chris’s girlfriend and Robert’s long time friend. He’d been the one to set them up actually, and he really enjoyed her company.

Everyone had been milling around, and Robert could hear a lot of noise from the games room. So he grabbed a fresh beer from the kitchen and followed the ruckus. Chris was having a game of darts with Adam and everyone, with help from alcohol of course, was getting overly invested in the result.

Robert’s eyes sought out Aaron, who was enthusiastically supporting Adam. He was smiling, and he seemed much looser and more relaxed than Robert had ever seen him. Aaron’s bright blue eyes caught his across the room and Robert’s breath caught. The intensity in that gaze took him by surprise and Robert looked away, focusing on the dartboard, Chris completely missing the 20 target to a chorus of “oohs!” Robert found his eyes finding Aaron’s figure again, like he couldn’t help it. He was in jeans and a dark hoodie, didn’t look out of place at all and yet Robert couldn’t stop staring. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Robert took a swig from his beer, then laughed as Adam was obviously beaten, and challenged Chris to a rematch, who agreed. Though he privately doubted that either of them were sober enough to keep an accurate score.

Aaron’s eyes swung back to Robert and he smiled, making him look all cheeks, a lot younger than normal. Then he licked his lips in a way that was clearly blatant and suggestive, and Robert didn’t want to do this anymore. He set his beer down on the coffee table, nodded to Louise as he left the room for the much quieter and less distracting kitchen. What he hadn’t bargained on was Aaron following him.

“Hey, sorry,” Aaron said easily. “I wasn’t thinking. It’s the weekend, I’ve been drinking, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” Robert clearly hadn’t looked as unaffected as he’d like to appear.

“It’s fine,” Robert said. “Don’t worry about it.” Aaron nodded once shortly, and turned to leave. “Is that Finn your boyfriend?” A demon had clearly possessed Robert’s soul, because he hadn’t been aware he’d even been thinking that, let alone saying it. He had overheard Finn and Tracy, making it clear Finn was gay, but hadn’t thought more of it, or not at the time anyway.

“No,” Aaron said. “I don’t think that’s what you’re really asking me, Robert. Are you asking if I’m gay?”

“Well, are you?” Robert asked, feeling on the back foot. He never did this, he never let someone get under his skin like this, he liked to be in charge and in control. In most of his social interactions he was, but not here it seemed. And the almost physical way Aaron kept his eyes on Robert had him questioning it.

“Does the answer matter to you?” Aaron countered, voice measured and far more in control than Robert was.

“Forget it,” Robert breathed, looking away from him. He had no idea what he was doing.

“Yeah, fine, I admit it. I’m gay, and I’m enjoying looking at you,” Aaron said, bolder than his normal self because of the free flowing booze. “That’s not wrong, is it?” he asked lowly, stepping closer to Robert who didn’t back away. He could smell the sharp scent of Aaron, certainly far too close for him, but he didn’t want to back away. In fact, he couldn’t think of anything he wanted less.

Later, Robert would blame the alcohol. Aaron moved first. He kissed Robert and Robert froze, because he hadn’t been expecting it. Well, he almost had, but the reality was so different. Then he reacted, kissing Aaron back fervently. His lips were soft, much softer than he expected and he groaned as Aaron’s tongue started tasting him, teasing his lips before Robert opened his mouth so willingly. Aaron tasted of beer and desire, there wasn’t another word for it. Aaron’s fingers entwined in Robert’s hair, pulling him close and he wasn’t gentle. The rasp of his stubble was almost bruising his face, and Robert thrilled from the feeling, it was instinctual, had no conscious thought behind it. Aaron felt good, tasted better, and dragging air into his lungs felt like a minor concern right now.

Aaron pulled back for a second to breathe and Robert whimpered, actually whimpered at the loss. He couldn’t believe that noise came from him as Aaron kissed him again, fully in charge and knowing exactly what he was doing. Aaron’s hand sneaked down to Robert’s belt loops, pulling him close so they were pressed up everywhere from thighs to shoulders and he could feel Aaron hard in his jeans. That was what sent warning signals through Robert’s body and he twisted his head to stop the kiss.

“No,” he gasped, hands out to stop Aaron from getting any closer.

“What?” Aaron asked, Robert’s palms immobile on Aaron’s chest, keeping him half a step away from him. Aaron’s lips were wet, kiss bruised and far more enticing than they should be. Robert swallowed and shook his head.

“I’m not gay, Aaron,” Robert said, trying to stop his heart from racing. Whether due to lust or panic, he had no idea. Aaron’s face went through several emotions Robert couldn’t quite place, before he nodded, stepping back from Robert so his hands dropped, feeling totally useless by his sides.

“Fine,” Aaron said. He slowly and purposefully bit his bottom lip, then licked it and Robert couldn’t help it, he shivered. He could still taste Aaron, and that action didn’t help.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Aaron said.

“Aaron, don’t…” Robert started, no idea where that sentence was going.

“You do whatever you want,” Aaron said. “I’m going home. Night Robert.” Aaron grabbed another beer and left, and Robert knew there was no getting him to stay tonight. If he’d even want to.

Robert’s heart was racing so much, more than it had in years, simply by being kissed. And by a man. He had never kissed a man in his life before and that… God, that was enough to make his head spin. He put his fingers to his lips, knowing from how tender they were that they’d be red, obvious. He sighed and opened the whisky, hoping to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the support so far. I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter, as I'm not exactly sure where I'm going next! Thanks!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapters here are short, but I thought people would prefer little and often, rather than waiting for a long chapter. Hope you don't mind! Thank you so much for the support on this, I really appreciate it and love you all! Enjoy!

The next morning Robert had a raging headache, and a severe case of embarrassment from how he’d treated Aaron the night before. He’d hoped it was a dream he could forget, but the prickling burn on the lower half of his face told him it wasn’t. The beard burn wasn’t visible, thank God, but Robert could feel it. He necked a few painkillers with water, waiting for the coffee machine to kick in. He needed some caffeine this morning, now more than ever.

Louise came into the kitchen, wrapped in a silk dressing gown, blonde hair in a messy bun. “Morning!” she said brightly.

“Er, no,” Robert said, not in the mood.

“Thanks for letting us crash here last night,” she said, ignoring Robert’s tone. “Chris and I really appreciate it.”

“Well, you’re friends,” Robert said, then frowning as she went to the fridge. “Er… what’re you doing?”

“Chris wants a bacon sandwich,” she said, grabbing the pack and finding a frying pan, seeming perfectly at home in his kitchen.

“So, he sent you?” Robert asked. “The lazy git could get out of bed and do it himself.”

“I owe him a favour,” she said, adding the bacon to the pan. Robert was about to ask what kind of favour, but then decided from Louise’s self satisfied smirk that he didn’t need to hear it. He didn’t want to know exactly what Louise and Chris had got up to last night in his house.

“Make one for me too while you’re at it,” Robert said.

“I haven’t…”

“You didn’t have to shell out for a hotel last night, and I’m guessing the mattress needs replacing in the bedroom you had,” Robert cut in. “Make another bacon sandwich please.”

“Fine,” she said, adding more rashers to the pan. “How was your night, then?”

“Terrible,” Robert said honestly, before realising he shouldn’t be that honest.

“I thought you said…” Louise frowned. “It was your housewarming. And Andy didn’t kick off the way you thought he might, so…”

“Louise, I did something really stupid,” Robert said.

“You didn’t go after his wife again?” Louise asked, exasperated. “Robert! I thought you’d grown up!”

“No!” Robert said. “No, of course not. The way Katie was throwing evils at me all night, I wouldn’t get within ten feet of her anyway. No.”

“Then… what is it?”

Robert debated. “You know what, it doesn’t matter.”

“Come on, Rob,” she said. “You can trust me.”

“I know I can,” he said warmly, meaning it. “I’m fine, it’s fine. I’ll sort it out.”

“Mmhmm,” she said like she doubted it. “Robert, I love you. But you are a mess.”

“Thanks,” Robert said, grabbing his now made coffee. “I appreciate that.”

Neither of them spoke until Louise had plated up the bacon sarnies. “How’s the leg?”

“Er… fine,” Robert said. “Good. I’ve not thought about it all weekend, actually.”

“That’s good then,” she said brightly. “Right?”

“Yeah,” Robert said.

“Are you just hung over or having some kind of crisis?” Louise asked.

“I’m…”

“Fine,” Louise finished for him. “I’m here if you want to talk, Robert. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Robert said, appreciating her friendship. “I know.” He hugged her briefly before she brightly went back upstairs to her boyfriend, bacon sandwich in tow. 

Robert didn’t even know what to think right now. His life shouldn’t be shaken like this by one man deciding to kiss him at a party where they were both more drunk than sober.

* * *

Aaron was making himself a coffee in the back room of the pub, feeling incredibly stupid. He’d thrown himself at Robert, who was at worst straight, and at best closeted. Not to mention rich and famous. God, he was going to have come across as the worst kind of person for doing that. What had he been thinking? _You hadn’t_ , an honest voice in his head said. And it’s true. Robert’s jeans had hugged his arse beautifully, the eye contact and the booze had done everything else to Aaron’s impulse control. And now he felt ashamed and embarrassed.

He needed to apologise. That’s the only thing in his head. He shouldn’t have acted like that. He grabbed his keys, hoping he was sober enough to drive, and he went up to Home Farm.

Robert heard a knock and opened the door to see Aaron, much to his surprise. “What’re you doing here?!” Robert almost hissed and Aaron could see the alarm on his face.

“I’m not…” Aaron started. “Look, I just thought…”

“I still have some friends here, please don’t make a scene,” Robert said, taking a step outside and closing the door so they had some privacy.

“I’m not going to,” Aaron said. “I’m sorry. For last night, I just… wasn’t thinking.”

“You’re here to apologise?” Robert asked, utterly confused.

“Yeah.” Aaron looked uncomfortable. “I’ve got no need to make a fuss or give you a problem. You’re clearly not comfortable being with men.”

“It was a mistake,” Robert said. “I’m not…”

“Gay, I think is the word you’re after,” Aaron said when Robert stalled. “And that’s why I’m not staying.”

“Aaron, don’t…”

“If you’re in denial, it’s really not any of my business,” Aaron said, with a shrug.

“I’m not…” Robert spluttered. 

“I’ll leave you alone,” Aaron said. “Bye Robert.” He grabbed his car keys and retreated, not looking at Robert. He really didn’t want to get involved with someone who claimed he was straight, however true it might or might not be. He didn’t have the time or the energy for it. Robert wanted to pretend? That was fine, just leave him well out of it.

* * *

Robert closed the door, leaning against it. He needed to forget that. He needed to forget Aaron and all the complications he brought to Robert’s nicely ordered life. 

“Hey, are you going back to Leeds?”

“Yeah,” Louise said. “Why?”

“I want to go out on the pull,” Robert said bluntly. “Got a night out in you?”

“On a Sunday?” Louise asked. “Yeah, all right,” she added. “Are you going to tell me what happened that rattled your cage so much yesterday?”

“I’ll drive,” Robert said, ignoring this.

“No. Not until you talk to me.” Robert breathed in deeply. “I’m waiting.”

“I just need a distraction,” Robert said. “That’s all.”

“Robert, come on.”

“Louise, just… please, all right?”

“Fine,” she said. “But I’ll get it out of you one way or another.”

“Agreed.” Robert got in her car, and tried to forget about the last twenty four hours.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've moved Andy and Katie's wedding to the summer, just to suit my purposes, but I don't think anyone will mind! Thank you for the overwhelming support for this so far!

Robert didn’t stay. It was a blank hotel room, a hotel he’d used before for his one night stands. He had a discrete arrangement with the manager, and it worked out well for him. Robert never stayed afterwards, because he didn’t do relationships, he didn’t like the morning after awkward conversations, when she’d inevitably want his phone number, or create a scene. Or that’s how it used to happen, it’d been a few years since he’d hung around to find out.

“Hey, I’ve got to go,” Robert said, leaning over the anonymous redhead in bed.

“Mm?” she asked, waking herself up. “Oh. You want me to go?”

“No, you stay here,” he said. “I’ll cover the hotel room, don’t worry about that.”

“I’m not going to see you again, am I?” she moaned, half asleep, half awake.

“Sorry,” Robert said, not meaning it. “Last night was fun.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, a smile on her face. “It was. Bye Robert.” She sighed into sleep and Robert felt relieved. That could have (and previously had) gone much worse. He never lied to his one night stands, he never promised more than a fun night, but sometimes…

Robert hurried down the stairs, quickly settling up the bill on the front desk and arranging for a private driver to take him back to Emmerdale, sod the cost. He’d scratched the itch, now he just wanted his own bed.

“Where to, sir?” the driver asked, pretending he wasn’t bothered about the one a.m. journey.

“Home.” Robert sat in the back seat, closing his eyes and letting his mind run away with itself. He had enjoyed tonight. He’d enjoyed losing himself in another person, and it was good to have it confirmed that he hadn’t been imagining the last ten years of his life. He did enjoy sex with women, he was attracted to them. Aaron was just a glitch. An annoying one, because he practically lived on his doorstep, but he felt reassured by tonight. Probably not the noble way to act but he didn’t care. Sex always relaxed him, and he could think with a bit more of a clear head now. Aaron wasn’t that irresistible.

* * *

Aaron didn’t see Robert for the next couple of weeks. It was no great loss, or at least that’s what he told himself. He spent his days going to work at the garage, came home, had a few drinks with Adam, nothing groundbreaking. He did however pilfer a few of his mothers trashy magazines. He wasn’t looking for Robert, though. Of course not.

He found a few paparazzi shots of him though. Him and a few other of the premier league footballers in a club, so it was clearly a familiar haunt for him. The thing that caught his attention was Robert kissing some woman. Aaron flicked to the cover and checked the magazine date. “Trying to prove a point were you?” Aaron said to himself. He threw the magazine onto the kitchen table, almost trying to decide how angry he was. It wasn’t like he didn’t know what it was like, how it could feel realising you weren’t straight. Robert wasn’t straight, he knew that much. The way he’d kissed him on the night of his party… that wasn’t fake, it wasn't a drunk mistake. Aaron had relived those long moments several times since, and… Robert had been into it. There’d been a moment, where Robert could have pushed him away, but he hadn’t. He hadn’t wanted to, not until his brain kicked in. His instincts… didn’t match up to what his head was telling him.

Which was fine, Robert was not Aaron’s problem. Rich and talented meant he probably wouldn’t want Aaron anyway. Then when you added the fact he was obviously sexually confused… yeah, Aaron didn’t need to get involved in that mess. Robert wasn’t his, he shouldn’t feel jealous or angry. None of that meant he enjoyed seeing pictures of Robert with his hands all over some random woman in the magazines, just so Robert could prove a damn point.

* * *

Robert would have been fine if it wasn’t for Andy and Katie’s wedding. That’s what he told himself. Aaron in a suit would have been the downfall of a better man than him. White shirt, black jacket, both fitting him very well. Dark tie, buttons of the shirt done up, emphasising his throat. Aaron looked gorgeous. And he was sitting down in the church when Robert arrived, if the trousers were fitted too...

 _Stop_ , he told himself. This was unnecessary and unhelpful. He forced a smile at a nervous looking Andy, who’d been making an effort to be semi friendly lately. It wasn’t something Robert was about to take for granted.

They got married, all smiles and happiness before going to the pub for the reception (typical predictable Andy) and Robert let out a sigh of relief as Aaron left the church, chatting with his mum. He didn’t need the temptation. Though he didn’t even consider the fact he was seeing Aaron as a temptation meant something.

“Hey, are you okay?” Vic asked, seeing Robert still sitting in his seat in the church.

“Yeah,” Robert said, forcing a smile. “Course.”

“Look, I know seeing your ex marry your brother might not have been the easiest of things…” Vic said.

“Oh, I’ve not thought about Katie like that for a long time,” Robert said. “Life moves on, right? Go on, take care of your buffet,” he added. Vic nodded, hurrying to the pub, her heels clicking on the church floor, leaving Robert alone for several minutes. Until the church door banged.

“Oh, my phone fell out of my pocket,” Aaron said, with a look on his face that told Robert he was being truthful. Aaron leaned into the pew and picked up his phone, ticking it in his jacket. “What’re you doing still here?”

“Thinking,” Robert said.

“What, finding religion?” Aaron asked.

Robert’s lips twitched. “I think that‘s unlikely, don’t you?” Aaron grinned.

“Well, I should get back,” Aaron said as the silence started to become uncomfortable.

“Wait,” Robert said, getting up and walking closer to him. Aaron didn’t say anything, or move at all, just let Robert come closer. Robert’s eyes went up and down Aaron’s body slowly, taking him all in in his suit. He looked so good, and as Robert’s gaze made his way back to Aaron’s eyes, it was clear Aaron knew exactly what effect he was having on him.

“I’m not going to make the first move, Robert,” Aaron said, almost whispered with how low his voice was, his eyes settling on Robert’s lips, waiting for Robert to take the initiative. He did, he couldn’t not. His hand curled around Aaron’s face, keeping him close as the kiss went on and on. Aaron’s hand tugged his hair, making Robert moan. Robert slipped his hands under Aaron’s jacket, and he let it pool off onto the floor, leaving Aaron in a thin white shirt. 

Robert drew back to look at him, the way the fabric was almost clinging to his body, a body he hadn’t yet seen or touched, but he wanted to. Robert looked at Aaron’s face for a moment before kissing him again, marvelling in the way their lips fit together. Robert’s hands wandered, pulling up the hem of his shirt and skimming across Aaron’s back. Aaron moaned into Robert’s mouth, gripping his waist tightly, fingers digging in. Robert ran his palms over Aaron’s skin, feeling the goosebumps rise. This was different, new. He could feel the firmness of Aaron’s muscles under the skin, until he reached his shoulder blades, palms spanning the breadth of him, solid, real, and Robert just _wanted_. 

Aaron leaned against him, pressing gentle soft lingering kisses to his neck making Robert shiver with need. God, he did want Aaron badly, but he pulled back, hands sliding out from under his shirt, the moment breaking.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” Robert whispered, feeling completely overwhelmed.

“I know you don’t.” Aaron’s hand on Robert’s cheek was really comforting. “But call me when you figure it out. Okay?” He pressed a feather light kiss to Robert’s lips and walked away, out of the church. Robert groaned and ran a hand through his hair in frustration, trying to calm himself down. He had a massive problem here.


	6. Chapter 6

The first match of the season had been the Saturday of Andy and Katie’s wedding. Robert hadn’t played, had got an exemption because of the family circumstances. Yorkshire FC had lost 2-0, so that hadn’t been a good start to the year. He wouldn’t have played the whole 90 minutes anyway, due to his leg injury, though he had been given the green light by all his physios.

He was attending training with the rest of the team, though the mood was grim. They’d almost won the premier league last year, three points away from claiming the title. Most people were expecting them to do similarly well this year, so a two nil loss was a bit of a draining result.

After one mid week training session, Robert stayed in Leeds, not going back to Emmerdale, thinking hard. Thinking about Aaron, and himself and his life. After a while, he drove to Louise’s place. He needed to talk to her, though he hadn’t been aware of how much time had passed during the day.

“Right, you’re interrupting our date night, so out with it,” Louise said, as she let Robert into her kitchen.

“Am I really?” Robert asked, suddenly worried.

“No,” Louise said. “Chris is on the phone to his mother…” she rolled her eyes dramatically. “So it’ll probably be an hour before we’re out the door anyway. Go on.”

“Is he really busy on the phone?” Robert asked. He didn’t want Chris to overhear this, he had to work with the guy on the team after all. It could make things decidedly awkward, especially as Robert felt so unsure about his sexuality himself.

“Yeah, he‘s busy, trust me,” Louise said, dropping her jokey tone. “What is it?”

“I er… God, I don’t know what to do here,” Robert said, starting to pace back and forth in her kitchen.

“You’ve not done anything illegal?” she asked, seeing his attitude.

“No,” he said. “No, of course not.”

“Robert? I can’t help if you don’t talk,” Louise said into the silence.

“I… might have met someone,” he said, almost wrenching the words out.

“Oh, yay!” she squealed. “Robert, that’s wonderful, it’s about time you settled down!”

“No, it’s more complicated than that,” Robert said, still pacing.

“So… married?” Louise suggested. “Or underage? In which case I’m going to give you a slap round the head.”

“No!” Robert snapped. “A bit younger than me, but no.”

“How young?”

“Twenty one.” There was no denying Louise looked relieved. “Hang on, what kind of man do you think I am?”

“I know you, Robert!” she said. “And I’ve never seen you look more agitated.”

“Right, okay…”

“Is the sex terrible?” Louise said, trying to relax him, loosen him up.

“I wouldn’t know.”

“You’ve not slept with her?” Louise asked in surprise. “Is she not interested in you?” Robert glared at her. “What! I’ve never been interested in sleeping with you. You’re not all that, Robert.”

He rolled his eyes. “No, I’m pretty sure that’s not the problem.” Robert sighed, looked at the door to make sure Chris wasn’t coming in, then spoke. “It’s… a guy. The person I can’t get out of my head is a man.”

“Oh!” Louise said, very surprised. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be… you’ve always been such a womaniser that… I’ll just stop talking now,” she said, cutting across her babbling.

“I’ve never felt like this before, and I don’t know what to do,” Robert said. “I’m not gay… even if I was, I can’t be gay and keep my job.”

“They wouldn’t sack you, come on,” Louise said with a scowl.

“No premier league footballer has come out while playing,” Robert said. “There’s a reason, Lou.” Robert shook his head. “And I don’t know if I want that anyway, I’m not gay. I like women, I really like women. But I really like him too.”

“Are you worried he’ll go to the press?” Louise asked seriously.

“No,” Robert said surely. “He wouldn’t. Aaron’s not that kind of man.”

“I get a name,” she said with a smile. One Robert mirrored weakly.

“I keep… I don’t know, it’s like I won’t let myself even think of going there because… I’m not gay.”

“You might be bisexual,” Louise suggested. “I know you like women, Robert, believe me I know. But this… clearly isn’t going away either.”

“No, it’s not,” Robert said. “Being honest? I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“That it’ll be nothing. That it’ll be something. I don’t know.”

“I think… you’re putting too much pressure on yourself,” Louise said. “It doesn’t have to be a big thing. And you might not even like him when you get to know him better. You’re trying to think five steps ahead of where you are now.” That was certainly true. He had been. He’d been thinking about labels and how it could possibly effect his career, when it might never even get that far. Aaron could be a simple flirtation that burnt out with a bit of time. Most of his attractions did after all.

“Lou… I’ve got no experience with guys. I’ve never…” Robert tailed off uncomfortably.

“Rob? Men really aren’t that complicated, trust me,” she said with a smile. She hugged him tightly and Robert appreciated it. Or he did, until he found out that she’d pilfered his phone.

“So, what’s he under your phone as?” Louise asked, typing away.

“Louise, don’t you dare!” Robert hissed, trying to get his phone back , but she was tougher than she looked.

“Aaron, here we go.”

“Please don’t set me up,” Robert said.

 _“Hey, I wondered if you wanted to come around to mine after Saturday’s match?”_ Louise parroted. “Do I put a kiss after it? You add x’s to my texts, so… yeah, I’ll add one.”

“Louise…”

“I won’t send it if you don’t want,” she added seriously. “But you’re never going to know if you don’t try.”

“Go on, then,” Robert said after a long pause. She didn’t ask twice and hit send. It took a stressful three and a half minutes for a reply to come through.

 _“Only if you’re not playing around with me._ ” Louise read out from the phone screen. “What’ve you been doing?” she asked him.

“Nothing.” Robert sighed. 

 _“I’m… not messing you around,”_ Louise said, typing away. “That sound like you?” Robert nodded, almost unable to believe that his friend was setting him up, like he was completely incapable.  _"l'll text you when I’m home from the match.”_   She paused. "Sound okay?"

“Yeah, now give me my phone back,” Robert said, snatching it back, seeing that the message had sent. “If he turns into a psycho killer, I’m blaming you.”

“I can deal with that,” she said with a bright smile.

“Please, don’t say anything to Chris. Or anyone. I don’t want… before I’ve even sorted it in my own head.”

“I won’t say a word,” she said. “I want gossip though.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

* * *

Louise hadn’t solved anything, not really. But she had got him to calm down, and he‘d needed that. And he’d also needed to admit out loud that this attraction with Aaron wasn’t going away any time soon. By the time the weekend had come, he’d done a lot of googling on his phone, looking up stuff, wondering if he was bisexual. He hadn’t really given it any thought before Louise suggested it because… he was straight. It had never been a big thing, he liked women, he liked sex, why was that complicated? It hadn’t been for him. Now it suddenly was. Anyway, google hadn’t really been all that helpful, a lot of it was aimed at teenagers, and he felt even more stupid for questioning something like this at the ripe old age of twenty seven. Shouldn’t he have been agonising over this ten years ago?

He focused on the match instead. It was a home game, so less travel, and he knew they needed to win this one. It would give the whole team a morale boost, and while it might not solve his private life, it would make Robert feel miles better than he did right now.

The morning of the match, he had a text on his phone from Aaron. _“Not cancelled yet?”_ Robert smiled and replied quickly.

_“No. Thought I’d stick it out. You okay?”_

_“Yeah. Good luck today.”_ Robert took that, smiling to himself. He was so nervous, and a little bit scared about seeing Aaron tonight, but not nearly enough to cancel. He drove to the football ground, mind running through all the possibilities.

Robert was checked over by three different medics before being declared fit to play on his injured leg. He wasn’t in the starting line up, but they’d agree he’d come on just after half time, give him a fair go for his first match back.

* * *

Aaron was watching Robert’s match. He wasn’t usually football obsessive. Yeah, he’d watch a game if it was on, or stuff like the Euros and the World Cup, but otherwise? Didn’t really follow it. But now, he wanted to pay attention. He was at Adam and Vic’s, Vic was working and Adam kept annoying him whenever he got in the way of the telly. He was beginning to wish he’d stayed at home and streamed it on his laptop.

Robert started to play early in the second half. Aaron tried to pretend for about ten minutes that he wasn’t exclusively watching him, trying to follow him whenever the number 8 on his back came into the picture. Then he gave up. It was 1-1, and Yorkshire needed to score. They had a heavy expectation on them to do well this season, and Robert wouldn’t be happy if they lost either.

“Yes!” Aaron grinned as Robert took aim and scored, the ball floating beautifully into the back of the net.

“Didn’t know you were a supporter,” Adam said, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“Ah, I’m not,” Aaron said, trying to cover it. “Different when you know the guy though, isn’t it? He’s Vic’s brother.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Adam said, relenting. “Another beer?”

“Nah,” Aaron said. He didn’t want to be drunk before tonight. Though he did enjoy the images on the telly of Robert celebrating the goal with his team mates, all smiling and beautiful. Because he really was. At the end of the game (a win) Aaron sent him a text. _“See the leg healed up okay then? Still on for tonight?”_

 _“Yep. Looking forward to it.”_ Aaron wondered if Robert genuinely was.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I struggled with this chapter. I hope you enjoy it, and thank you so much for the comments and kudos on this story so far! Oh, and a warning for mentions of Aaron's self harm too, nothing worse than the show.

Aaron made sure he looked good. He didn’t know quite what was going to happen tonight, but he wanted to look his best, just in case. He wore his purple hoodie and minimal gel in his hair. Half of him was waiting for Robert to cancel, change his mind at the last minute. But there was no call or text, so he made his way up to Home Farm. Knocking on the door, he waited until Robert appeared, a white, very rumpled shirt and jeans, a nervous smile on his face. “Hi,” Aaron said. “I thought you’d cancel.”

“I thought I might too,” Robert admitted, nodding towards the house. “Come in.” Aaron did, looking around his kitchen.

“I take it you’re in a good mood after a win,” Aaron said.

“Better a win than a loss,” Robert said. “It felt good to be back doing what I do best. Beer?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Aaron said, taking the cold bottle Robert offered him. He took a swig before clearing his throat, feeling a little uncomfortable. “So, what’d you want to do?”

“Do something boring, like watch a film. Or I can thrash you at play station,” Robert suggested with a grin.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Aaron said with what could only be defined as a flirty smile. “Come on then.”

* * *

 

“I can’t believe you unwind by playing Fifa,” Aaron said, shaking his head at the screen with amusement.

“I like winning,” Robert said, focusing on the computer game. “I don’t care at what.”

“Competitive.”

“Job requirement,” Robert said, eyes glued to the screen.

“How did you get into football?” Aaron asked. “Professionally at least.”

“I liked being better than Andy at something,” Robert said. “And I was good.” Aaron scoffed. “No, I mean… anyone… most kids, you can get good if you’ve got the training, and good coordination. But I was good before that, and I practiced.”

“Oh?” Aaron asked, sensing a story. 

“Whenever my dad… he’d send us up to work on the farm. Well, if no one could see us, me and Andy would have a kick about. Or I’d kick the ball against the side of the shed, anything so I wouldn’t have to do farm work.”

“You didn’t like growing up on a farm?”

“I expect I’d have liked it more, had dad not tried to force it on me,” Robert said. “I’m stubborn. And I always liked living here, I just… didn’t like working here.”

“What did your dad think about you taking up football?”

“He didn’t know,” Robert said. “Ah, gotcha!” he said enthusiastically, scoring on the game and making Aaron scowl at it. “He sent me away. I’d got an invitation to a training camp, which I hadn’t told him about. It was the only place I had to run to, and I did run. I wasn’t like the other lads, I wanted it more. Because if I failed at football, I… had nothing left. I had to make it work. So, I worked hard. I’ve got natural talent…”

“And arrogance,” Aaron chipped in, making Robert smile. A smile that lit him up and made Aaron’s breath catch, reminding him how much he wanted him.

“I had talent, but I worked. And then I got lucky, I was signed up to a reserve team. No one knows the names of the subs, the b team, not unless you’re an avid supporter, and dad wasn’t. Then he died. And then… I got to where I am now.”

“He never saw you successful?”

“No,” Robert said. “Dad probably wouldn’t have considered kicking a ball around every Saturday successful, but…” Robert shrugged.

“You may not have a traditional job,” Aaron said. “But you play for your country, how on earth would he have hated that?” Robert paused the game and looked at Aaron.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely, speaking softly. He put down the game controller and kissed Aaron, trying to be a bit more in charge this time. Aaron moaned as Robert pushed him flat against the sofa cushions, still lip locked. Aaron’s hands slid up the back of Robert’s shirt, fingers following the indents of Robert’s spine, and he gasped. His fingers felt good against his skin and he kissed Aaron deeper, enjoying this completely. Aaron tasted good, and Robert's heart was already racing.

Robert got his hands under the hem of Aaron’s T shirt, and Aaron wriggled underneath him. “Wait, wait, wait,” Aaron said, twisting his head away. Robert suddenly felt full of doubt as he caught his breath.

“Was that… terrible?”

“No,” Aaron said, eyes lighting up as he pressed a soft kiss to Robert’s lips. “Course not.” Aaron sighed, and Robert suddenly realised that this was about him, not Robert. “I’ve got… a few scars. If you take my top off, you’ll see them, and I’m… not proud of them.” He cleared his throat. “I hurt myself… before. I’m self conscious and…”

“Okay,” Robert said softly, seeing how insecure Aaron was, weirdly gave him a shot of confidence. “We don’t have to go any further, we don’t…”

“No, I want to,” Aaron said. “I just don’t want you to be all… I don’t know… pitying and…” Aaron shook his head at his inability to express himself and took his T shirt off quickly, jaw clenched as he braced himself for Robert's reaction. Robert looked at him. The scars weren’t bad. In fact, had Aaron not mentioned them, Robert probably wouldn’t have drawn attention to them. Faint white lines across his stomach, done a while ago, it looked like. Robert raised his gaze, to look in Aaron's eyes, saw he was nervous and covered the majority of the marks with his palms. Aarons skin was warm and Aaron moved, unbuttoning Robert’s shirt as they kissed again, this time Aaron pushing Robert flat against the cushions, climbing on top of him.

Robert jerked when Aaron’s palm slid over his bare skin, thumb brushing over a nipple. “Good?” Aaron asked and Robert nodded, loosing himself in another kiss. Aaron’s lips were so damn intoxicating and Robert tilted his head back as Aaron’s lips started sucking kisses on his neck. It felt so good to be this wanted. Aaron’s stubble was creating all kinds of delicious friction through him, as well as his thumb which was teasing his sensitive skin. Robert opened his legs, wrapping his thighs around Aaron to keep him close and Aaron arched his hips downwards.

Robert felt a thrill of fear, feeling Aaron so obviously aroused and he groaned, hating himself and his inhibitions. The way his brain didn’t seem to allow him to go further with a man. It was a problem with his head, not his body. His body was more than up for this, they both could feel it. “Aaron… I’m not ready for sex,” Robert said, Aaron still lying entwined with him, on top of him, everywhere. “I want to be, but… I’m just not. I’m sorry, I…”

“It’s fine,” Aaron said. He pressed a feather light kiss to Robert’s lips. “But… this is okay, right?” Robert’s eyes lit up.

“Yeah,” he said, honestly. “I’m really enjoying this.”

“Good,” Aaron said with a little smile. “Cos I am too.” He smiled into a soft kiss and Robert sighed against him. Aaron felt so wonderful, and he didn’t want to give it up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you so much for the support on this. I'm amazed that so many people are enjoying this so far! Thank you! This is a bit of an in between ish chapter, so I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Robert awoke feeling lazy and a little sore, his muscles really feeling his first match back. He’d get back into it, and hopefully the soreness in his legs would fade. Robert opened his eyes to see Aaron’s face in bed next to him. It was a shock. In the grogginess of waking up, he’d temporarily forgotten he’d invited Aaron to stay the night. They’d had a few more beers, too many for Aaron to drive home and kissed a bit more. Quite a bit more, actually before Robert led him up to the bedroom. Not much more beyond wandering hands and gentle kisses had happened before Aaron slipped into sleep (he snores).

Robert got his breathing under control and got out of bed, careful not to jostle Aaron, before padding to the bathroom and locking the door, mobile clutched in his hand. He ignored how early it was and called Louise, hoping Aaron wouldn’t wake.

“What?” Louise moaned.

“I have a man in my bed!” Robert hissed down the phone.

“Mm, so do I, it’s not that groundbreaking,” Louise said, clearly half asleep.

“Louise, what do I do?”

“Obviously call your best friend for help,” she said. Robert heard a loud yawn and a couple of sighs, Louise obviously waking herself up. She sounded more alert the next time she spoke. “Stop panicking, Robert. How was it?”

“How was what?”

“Last night,” she said. “You’re not this thick.”

“Er…” Robert considered, thinking back. “We didn’t… have sex, but… yeah, it was good. I think... I really like him.”

“Maybe stop over thinking and let me sleep?” Louise suggested. “Look, I know it’s a big thing. I know that. I’m not trying to minimise it, Robert. But right now, what would you like me to do?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said. Then he considered. “Do you… think I might be bi?”

“Oh, Robert,” she said with a sigh. “I really don’t want to label you, it’s none of my business.”

“No,” Robert agreed. “Sorry, my heads all over the place lately.”

“Take it slow,” she said. “That’s all I’m going to say.”

“Thanks,” Robert said. “I really appreciate you.”

“You better. Bye Rob.” He disconnected the phone and sighed. He wished this didn’t have to be so complicated, or that he was making it more complicated. He looked in the mirror and almost winced. His skin was pink, his neck obvious where Aaron’s mouth had been, his jaw having several red patches too. God, he’d have to hope that moisturiser took care of that, otherwise he’d have the piss taken out of him at training on Monday. He ran his hands through his hair, trying to make it look slightly less of a flat mess, before going downstairs and switching the coffee machine on. He made two, and listening to the regular sounds of the machine actually calmed him down. Stopped him from thinking too much.

It wasn’t the fact he’d woken up with a man in bed, or not entirely. He didn’t tend to fall asleep next to his conquests, male or female. He usually had a quick one night thing, and left. Even the semi casual relationship he’d had last year had been strictly a hotel affair. So waking up with someone in his bed, his bed at home was new. And frightening.

The coffee machine stopped and Robert took both mugs upstairs. Only to find Aaron hurriedly buttoning his jeans up. “Oh. Hi,” Robert said blankly.

“You don’t have to be all nice, I can take the hint,” Aaron said, throwing his T shirt on and not looking at him.

“I’m not being nice, I don’t do nice,” Robert said. “What’re you…”

“I’d drunk too much to drive, let’s leave it at that,” Aaron said, still not looking at him.

“Aaron, please look at me,” Robert said, at the same time wishing he’d thrown a shirt on before he’d gone downstairs to make coffee. He felt exposed and vulnerable. Aaron did look at him, for the first time clocking the coffee cups. “If I hadn’t wanted you here, you wouldn’t be here. Arrogant footballer, remember?”

“Yeah, but I throw you off,” Aaron said.

“Yeah, you do,” Robert agreed. “But I’ve not taken total leave of my senses, Aaron. You wouldn’t have slept here if it’s not what I wanted.”

“I heard you on the phone,” Aaron admitted quietly, taking his coffee from Robert’s hand anyway. “Having a meltdown.”

“I’ve never woken up with a man in my bed before,” Robert said. “How did you react the first time it happened?”

“The first time I kissed a bloke, I punched him and ended up in court for GBH.” Robert hadn’t been expecting that, and it clearly showed on his face. “I didn’t want to be gay. I got over it,” he added softly. Robert looked at him, thinking about it, before he kissed him gently.

“Sorry,” Aaron said. “I woke up, hearing you panicking. Then you didn’t come back, I thought I was getting brush off, and I was taking the hint to make a run for it.”

“No,” Robert said. “I’m not going to do that to you.”

“So… you’ve done it to people in the past?”

“Usually it’s me making the midnight flit,” Robert said.

Aaron nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. “If we do this again, I like a morning tea,” Aaron said, not critical. “Three sugars.”

“Three sugars?!”

“Hey, it wakes me up,” he said with a smile, one Robert returned. “I should go, you’re uncomfortable.”

“No,” Robert said, then relented. “A little. Look, it’s a Sunday, you don’t have to go anywhere. We can watch crap TV, watch the Sunday morning football review.”

“No!” Aaron interrupted. “I am not watching more football. Watching your match was bad enough.”

“You watched my match?” Robert asked, almost smirking at him. “Huh, that’s interesting.”

“Yeah, all right, don’t go getting a big head,” Aaron said. “Needed to see if you’d be in a good or bad mood before I met up with you, didn’t I?”

“Sure,” Robert said with a grin. Robert looked at the time. “Actually, I should go for a jog. Got to keep in shape. Want to come?”

“Nah, you’re all right,” Aaron said. “Can’t be bothered.” Robert laughed.

“Be here when I get back?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, eyes bright. “I promise.”

* * *

 

Aaron got back to the pub at about two in the afternoon. He’d hoped he could sneak in, but the missed calls from Chas on his phone made that highly unlikely. “Er, where’ve you been?!” she asked, almost shouting it from behind the bar. As fate would have it, he'd forgotten his key.

“Grown man, mum,” Aaron said. “I can kip on Adam’s sofa if I want to.”

“Don’t even try it!” Chas said pointing at him.

“Sorry, mate,” Adam said from the corner, looking suitably guilty. “You want a cover, you’ve gotta tell me.” Aaron rolled his eyes and went through to the back room and Chas followed him.

“So… where were you?” Chas asked, obviously trying for more of a conversational tone rather than a critical one.

“Out,” Aaron said. “Calm down, I’ve not done anything illegal, so you don’t have to panic.”

“You were out all night,” Chas said.

“Yeah, and I had a great time,” Aaron said. “Mum, drop it, okay?”

“I get nothing?” Chas asked.

“I’m in a better mood, will that do you?” Aaron said, before sticking the telly on. He didn’t need the lecture, or the endless questions.

* * *

 

Aaron was elbow deep in an engine, actually engrossed in concentration when he heard a female voice. “I’m looking for an Aaron?”

“Oi!” Cain shouted, nodding in his direction. Aaron looked up to see a blonde woman he didn’t recognise, smiling at him.

“Got a minute for a word?” she asked.

“I have no idea who you are,” Aaron said, though he did vaguely recognise her. “If it’s a problem with your car…”

“No,” she said. “I er… I’m Louise.” It suddenly hit Aaron where he knew her from. Robert’s party. And she obviously didn’t want to say why she was here in front of Cain and Ross.

“Give me five minutes to finish this job,” Aaron said. She smiled, seeing the understanding in his eyes and walked off.

“She looks like my type,” Ross said. “She's wasted on you.” Aaron rolled his eyes but ignored them, trying to get his hands free of the engine.

“Hey, you’re still working!” Cain called after him when he walked off the forecourt.

“Early lunch,” Aaron countered, not stopping walking. He found the blonde woman only a few steps down the road. “Is this to do with Robert?”

“Do you know, it is,” she said. Aaron nodded and walked in the direction of the bridge, feeling like he didn’t want to be overheard in this conversation.

“Go on,” Aaron said, looking over the river. “What’s the problem?”

“Not a problem,” she said. “It’s Robert.”

“You warning me off him?” Aaron said, amused.

“No!” she said. “No, of course I’m not. Actually, the opposite.” She sighed. “I think this is serious for him. He’s never…”

“Look, I’m not stupid,” Aaron said. “I know he’s never been with a man before.”

“No, its not that,” Louise said. “I’d be having this conversation with you if you were a woman. It’s… Robert doesn’t do relationships. He doesn’t go back to someone after the one night. And he wants to with you, which means it means more to him. And I know it scares him a bit.”

“It’s not…” Aaron sighed, wanting to shrug this off. “It’s just a bit of fun.” Louise sighed, looking down like that’s what she feared.

“That’s my point. It might be for you, it’s not for him. He really likes you.” Aaron wasn’t sure how to respond to that.

“Does he know you’re talking to me?” Aaron asked curiously.

“He’d kill me,” Louise said and Aaron smiled.

“Yeah, I bet he would.”

“Look, Robert can be an arse,” Louise said and Aaron laughed. “I know that better than anyone, but if… when he pisses you off, you can’t go to the newspapers and tell them…”

“What kind of man do you think I am?” Aaron asked with a scowl, very offended.

“I don’t know, do I?” she said, and Aaron had to admit she had a point.

“Right, Louise was it?” Aaron said to her nod. “What happens between Robert and me is none of your business.” She didn’t look happy at all. “But I’m not setting out to hurt him, or ruin his life. And God, talking to some journalist about the fact Robert likes me instead of some Vogue supermodel is the last thing I’m going to do.”

“Good,” she said. “I don’t want to see him hurt, that’s all.”

“Neither do I,” Aaron said softly. Louise nodded, and then left, leaving Aaron on the bridge.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have to stop updating once a day I think. It's killing me to keep up with it! I'm also probably going to start pushing the rating of this up a little bit, though it's nothing too explicit. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy!

The first training session of the week, Robert got ribbed for cutting out of the typical Saturday night celebrations for the first win of the season.

“What happened to you at the weekend?” Chris asked. “Usually the life and soul of the party.”

“I had a date,” Robert said, smiling slightly.

“You?” Chris asked. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“Someone I’m keeping quiet,” Robert said, without a pause. Chris looked at him. "I'm going out with her again."

“Really, that's new," Chris said. "You seem... different. You weren't like this last year with… oh, I can’t remember her name.”

“Chloe,” Robert said. “Yeah, that was never going to last,” he added dismissively. “I don’t know… this feels a bit… different.”

“Oh, this’ll be why Louise is always on the phone to you lately,” Chris said, like he‘d just realised that.

“Something like that,” Robert said. They got distracted by their drills, and the subject of Robert’s love life was thankfully dropped.

* * *

Robert had a text waiting on his phone after training, from Aaron and he read it while sitting in his car.

_“Want to hang out after your match again this weekend?”_

_“I can’t,”_ Robert text back. _“It’s an away match, south coast. I want to though.”_

_“Don’t worry about it. Just make sure you win.”_

_“Not entirely my responsibility,”_ Robert text back. _“It’s a team sport, remember?”_ He could almost feel Aaron’s grin back, and he was struck by how much he wanted to see him. _“Are you busy tonight?”_ There was a pause in the flow of conversation while Aaron thought what to text back. Robert liked to pretend it didn’t have him on edge.

Instead of a text, Robert’s phone rang with a call, and he answered it quickly. “Hi.”

“Yeah, I’d like to hang out tonight,” Aaron said. “But I thought…” Aaron sighed, obviously nervous. “How about we have a drink at the pub?” Aaron suggested. Robert hated that idea. “We could go with Adam and Vic, and just… if we’re friendly, it won’t be odd when we’re hanging out. And I don’t want this to end, Robert. So.., at some point someone will see us together. And I’d rather you not run off scared when that happens.”

Robert sighed, thinking about it and Aaron stayed silent, waiting for him to work it through his mind. “Your mum’s not my biggest fan.”

“She won’t kick off too much, she works with Vic,” Aaron said. “One drink, then I can come up to yours.”

“Okay,” Robert said. “I’ll try to be my most charming self.” Aaron laughed lightly.

“How did training go?”

“Good, actually,” Robert said. “It feels so good to be part of the team again. And I’m getting back into it properly. God, I’ve missed it.”

“Get back to work!”

“I should go,” Aaron said, and Robert guessed that voice in the background was Cain.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “See you tonight.”

“Bye.”

* * *

Robert sat in the corner of the pub, waiting for Aaron to appear. He’d text him already, so Aaron wouldn’t be long, he knew. And Robert was nervous, which was stupid. It’s not like anyone would see them having a drink together, and assume they were… well, the truth. Aaron appeared behind the bar, long sleeved T shirt on, and no hoodie, which was different.

Anyone else would have missed it, but Robert didn’t. Aaron’s eyes scanned him from head to toe in about a second, before he helped himself to a pint and coming over to the table, Robert already starting on his. “All right?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “So… in your grand plan, when’s Adam getting here?”

Aaron smiled, and nodded at the door, Adam coming through it. Robert felt a little disappointed, he couldn’t hide it. He’d have liked an evening just with Aaron, but Aaron did have a point. They needed to at least appear friendly in public. Robert forced a smile at Adam, knowing he was going to have to be pleasant to him for the next hour or so. Then Vic joined them, taking off her chefs hat, and Robert smiled at her. He could do this.

* * *

Adam was moaning to Vic about something up at the farm, Aaron was pretending to listen, but really, he’d zoned out minutes ago, just “mm”ing along in the correct places. He’d taken a risk. He still had his right hand around his pint, keeping an impassive face, but his left hand was under the table. He’d started squeezing Robert’s knee, and the look on Robert’s face had told him that that was fine. But Aaron hadn’t looked since he started trailing his index finger up the seam of his jeans, slowly tracing up his inner thigh. He could feel Robert’s muscle tensing under his hand and he fought back the roll of want. He wanted to feel those thick thighs around his waist, there was no arguing that.

Aaron hadn’t dared look at him, just kept a blank face, hoping he wasn’t pushing Robert’s boundaries too far. Robert’s hand slipped a little on his pint glass, but he didn’t say anything, or move Aaron’s hand away, so he carried on, tracing his way inch by slow inch up his inseam. When he got as close to Robert’s crotch as he dared, he changed the tempo, and he squeezed Robert’s thigh hard. Robert pushed his chair away from the table quickly, with a mutter of “need the bog” before vanishing to the toilets. 

“Charming!” Vic said, rolling her eyes at her brother.

Aaron knew he’d gone too far, and felt bad for pushing it, so he drained his pint. “I should get off,” he said. “Thanks for the drink.” Adam and Vic looked like they were more than happy to occupy themselves, so Aaron went past Chas and into the back room, before circling the pub and going into the gents from the front door.

“Robert, I’m…” he never got any further. Robert almost launched himself on Aaron, kissing him for all he was worth. Aaron grunted with surprise before throwing himself into it. He’d worked Robert up then. 

Robert thrust his tongue deep in Aaron’s mouth and Aaron half smiled into it, a hand in Robert’s hair, a place Aaron was finding her liked to hold him, keep Robert close and somewhat under his control. Robert’s lips felt so full and soft, and Aaron could get lost in them. Wanted to, until Robert’s hand curled around his arse, pulling Aaron flush against Robert’s body. 

“Got to you did I?” Aaron teased. Then half gasped half moaned as Robert’s large hand started caressing him through his jeans.

“Yeah, you did,” Robert breathed, other hand adding to the mix. Aaron groaned, unable to hold back how good Robert’s hands on his arse felt, pulling him so close.

“I like that noise,” Robert whispered. “Do that again.” Aaron kissed him and whined as he felt Robert’s hips push a little against him. That was new from Robert, Aaron thought with a thrill.

Robert leant his forehead against Aaron’s, and they were so close they were breathing the same air. Occasionally Robert would dart forward for a kiss, letting Aaron feel his eyelashes against his own cheek. But for the most part, they let their bodies push and pull against each other, hands stroking slowly. Aaron’s hips kept thrusting forward for friction, without him really being aware of the conscious thought to do it, and Robert didn’t seem to mind, sighing and gasping gently at the sensations.

“Hey, need the loo!” A voice called out, pushing against the door Aaron was backed up against. 

“Yeah, hang on,” Aaron said gruffly. Robert’s eyes filled with panic, and Aaron’s gaze flashed to the cubicles. Robert got the message instantly. Robert kissed him briefly before locking himself in one of the cubicles, and Aaron tried to pull himself together, tried to make it look like he hadn’t just been grinding against Robert. One deep breath and he opened the door to find Marlon impatiently waiting.

“Yeah, the door keeps sticking,” Aaron said casually. “I’ll mention it to mum.”

“Oh right,” Marlon said, looking at the door as if criticising it as they passed each other. Aaron went outside, breathing in the cool night air and trying to calm himself down. That had been close. He just about had himself under control when he heard footsteps on the gravel. Robert. Aaron half expected recriminations, for pushing things in public when he shouldn’t, making them suffer a close call.

“Are you still coming up to mine?” Robert asked.

“You want me to?” Aaron asked in surprise.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I don’t know about you, but a quick fumble in the Woolpack wasn’t enough for me.”

“Yeah,” Aaron agreed. “I’ll be there.”

Robert smirked. “Good.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short, but it is something! Thank you so much for the encouragement, enjoy!

By the time they made it up to Home Farm, some of the desperate passion had faded. It was still there, bubbling under the surface, but Robert didn’t feel the need to pin Aaron up against the nearest wall and press his body into him. Or not right now, anyway. The want and desire was still present, though. Aaron had grabbed a beer from the fridge, making himself at home and Robert smiled.

“I’ve been debating whether or not to tell you this or not,” Aaron said, sitting on the sofa. “Louise tracked me down the other day.”

“My friend Louise?” Robert said warily. “What did she want?”

“I think she was looking out of you,” Aaron said. “She said... she didn’t want me to hurt you.”

“She shouldn’t be talking to you at all,” Robert said angrily.

“Hey,” Aaron said. “She didn’t scare me off, I’m still here.” Robert breathed in deeply, and slowly let it out.

“I’ll still be having words with her,” Robert grumbled.

“It’s good you have someone looking out for you,” Aaron said. "She seemed like she really cares."

“She shouldn’t have talked to you,” Robert repeated, feeling angry. This was too new for his friend to start wading in.

“Don’t get too down on her,” Aaron said. “I got the feeling it came from a good place.”

“Mm,” Robert grumbled. “Speaking of coming from a good place… Is this Adam good enough for Vic?”

“Adam is my best mate,” Aaron said. “So I’m not the one to criticise him.”

“Vic…”

“Vic’s tough, she doesn’t take anyone’s rubbish, and she can stand up for herself,” Aaron said. “Adam adores her.”

“Mm,” Robert said, disheartened.

“Now, are we going to talk about our friends,” Aaron asked. “Or are we going to bed?”

Robert nodded, kissing him softly. “Bed, I think.” Aaron grinned.

* * *

Robert woke to hear the shower running. He rolled over and pressed his face into Aaron’s pillow, breathing in the scent of him. He hadn’t been out of bed long, the sheets were still vaguely warm. Robert suddenly woke up fully, when he realised what he could hear from the shower. Aaron was moaning freely, able to be heard over the running water and Robert flushed red, feeling embarrassed.

They’d indulged in a lot of… well, in what any other circumstances, Robert would call foreplay. Probably was, but he couldn’t quite let his mind go there. Kissing, stroking, Aaron's mouth on his nipples was a particular highlight of the evening, that Robert could almost still feel. But Robert didn’t feel ready for more, and it was obvious it was frustrating Aaron. From the noises coming from the shower anyway. He felt ashamed of his own inhibitions, stopping him from going further. He wanted more with Aaron, he really did, he was just scared. And being scared and nervous was not a feeling Robert was accustomed to, certainly not in the last few years. He liked to be the one in control, the one with confidence and charm, and right here, he didn’t know anything. He had no experience with men, at all. All he knew was the feeling that he wanted Aaron, and he didn’t know quite what to do with it. He got lost in his thoughts, only being pulled from them when Aaron appeared.

“Oh, hi,” Aaron said, walking into the bedroom with a towel around his waist. Robert forgot for a second or two what he was going to say, getting distracted with the water droplets on Aaron’s chest. Aaron’s lips were twitching when Robert’s gaze returned to his face, like he knew what he was thinking. Aaron lay on the bed with a sigh, and Robert for the moment ignored the fact Aaron was making his bed sheets damp. Some things were more important.

“I heard you,” Robert said bluntly. “In the shower.” Aaron looked at him, then half shrugged. 

“Woke up to you,” Aaron said. "Wanted you."

“But…” Robert felt deeply uncomfortable.

“Robert I’m not going to pressure you into sex,” Aaron said. “I would never do that. But I’m not going to lie to you, I want you really badly. I look at you, and I want you, and I’m not going to apologise for it.”

“I’ll get there,” Robert said, looking a bit pained. “I don’t know why, it’s some kind of mental block I have but… I _will_ get there, okay. And I know you’re being patient.”

Aaron grinned, kissed him gently, then whispered. “It’s okay.” He kissed Robert’s temple. “I’m worth the wait.”

“You’re a cocky little shit aren’t you?” Robert said and they both laughed. Aaron closed his eyes and looked halfway to sleep. “Don’t you have to be at work?”

“No, I’ve got a half day today,” Aaron said. “So I’m going to fall asleep on your very comfortable mattress.” Robert smiled. “That’s okay, right?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I can actually cook, you fancy… breakfast in bed?” he added tentatively.

“Sounds good,” Aaron said. “Crispy bacon though.”

“Consider it done.”

* * *

Robert sighed, hating the long journey south on the team bus. It was never particularly his highlight, but he wasn’t exactly looking forward to a weekend without Aaron. It was still new and exciting. Robert hadn’t felt the thrill of a new relationship in ages, and Robert was self aware enough to admit that this thing with Aaron was important, and he was deeply attracted to him. Which meant a weekend on the south coast for an away match was probably the last thing in the world he felt like doing right now. They better win, though. If he was missing out on free time with Aaron, the least they could do was score a win. He never expected what actually happened.

* * *

Aaron streamed the match on his laptop in the privacy of his bedroom. He didn’t want to deal with Adam’s interruptions, or anyone asking why he was so invested in a football team, when usually he was more of a "yeah, whatever" viewer when it came to football. He couldn’t explain his sudden interest, and he didn’t want to either.

Everything was going fine, really well actually, (2-0 in front) until a substitute from the opposite team came on in the second half. Aaron didn’t really notice it, not until said man jogged up to Robert an punched him on the jaw. Then it turned into a whole circus of officials and players trying to pull them apart, whistles being blown and the crowd roaring angrily. It had been completely unprovoked, even on the replay. With camera’s on every inch of the field, one of them had caught it, and Robert hadn’t even been looking at him. The man had said something, Robert whipped his head arouns and the fist had come out of nowhere. Aaron flinched at the replay. God, that looked seriously bad. The screen flicked back to live, and Robert was being taken off the pitch by two medics, even though it was obvious he wanted to keep playing, and the other player had been given an instant red card.

Aaron quickly fired off a text, even knowing Robert wouldn’t have his phone on him in the near future. _“Ouch. That looked bad. Are you okay? x”_ That sounded okay, right? He didn’t want to sound like he was too obsessively worried. Aaron winced. They’d just shown another replay and it didn’t get any better.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got much heavier than I anticipated. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

“I’m fine!” Robert snapped, tired of being examined, and having a light shone in his eyes to check for concussion. “I could have carried on playing!” He was angry. Not for being punched, all things considered he may well have deserved it, but for being taken off the pitch. The one thing he could do well was play, and some idiot had stopped him from doing even that.

“What did you do to that guy?” one of the medics asked.

“I didn’t do anything,” Robert said. “He’s clearly crazy. Ah!” That was a sensitive spot on his jaw.

“Robert how are you?” Phil, the manager asked, coming through, obvious the match was over, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

“Did we win?” Robert asked shortly.

“Yeah, 3-1,” Phil said. “Johnson… he’s ah… claiming you slept with his wife, and he’s been… waiting for an opportunity.”

“I haven’t been sleeping with his wife,” Robert said instantly. Then he realised that this might not be a recent occurrence. “When’s this supposed to have happened?”

“A few months back,” Phil said.

“Well, I might have," Robert said. "If I sleep with someone who claims she’s single, that’s hardly my fault, is it?” Robert said with a shrug.

“Oh, Robert,” Phil said.

“No, don’t “oh Robert” me,” he said. “What I do in my private life is entirely my business. As long as I get along with my team mates, and do my job on the pitch, there’s no problem. I'm your top goal scorer, and I don't care what you say in interviews, goals win matches.”

"You were my top goal scorer last season," he said. "Not doing so well, lately."

"I've barely played!" Robert snapped.

Phil sighed, looking worn and tired. “Do you want to press charges?”

“No,” Robert said instantly. There was no way he wanted to get deeper into this, he just wanted to forget it. "As long as he drops it, there won't be a problem."

"Yeah, I think his manager is currently giving him hell," Phil said. "Thank you for the PR headache, though."

"No problem," Robert said as Phil started pacing. "My jaws fine by the way."

* * *

 

Aaron sat on the bonnet of his car, waiting for Robert to arrive at Home Farm. He’d called, he was on his way, but Aaron was on edge. Soon enough, his car came down the driveway and Aaron waited for him to get out. When he did, Aaron bit his bottom lip hard. The bruising on Robert’s jaw was already colouring up purple.

“That looks nasty,” Aaron said.

“Mm,” Robert said. “Does it add to my boyish good looks?”

“Don’t,” Aaron said. “This isn’t funny.” Robert stayed perfectly still as he let Aaron tilt his chin so he could get a proper look at it. “It looks sore.” Robert clenched his jaw for a moment, Aaron could see the flicker of the muscles working.

“It is.”

“Why did he do it?”

“Aaron…” Robert said, twisting his face away.

“Or in other words,” Aaron said. “Is it true you slept with his wife?” Robert glared. “It’s all over the Sunday papers, Robert. I couldn’t avoid it. Half the village is gossiping about it.”

Robert sighed. “Yeah.” Aaron felt the anger go through him and wanted to punch him himself. Robert was holding back with him, but was fine to sleep with some random married woman? God, Aaron felt he deserved much more than that.

“Before,” Robert said. “Before I met you. Before I even moved here for good. It was ages ago.” Aaron tempered his anger, wondering whether to believe him. He looked sincere, but he was charming, and he could lie. Aaron wasn’t sure whether this was the truth. “I’ve not seen her in months. I’d honestly forgotten all about her.”

“Right,” Aaron said dully. “And what about the redhead? I know that one happened after you met me.” Robert had the grace to look guilty. “Did you sleep with her?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Yeah, I did. But we weren’t… I was trying to get you out of my system and forget about you.” Robert ran a hand over his face, clearly agitated. “It was after… that kiss at my party weeks ago. I was confused, and I’d never kissed a man before and I....”

“So you went out trying to prove you were straight?” Aaron asked.

“Something like that,” Robert said, and Aaron scoffed. “Look, I’m not saying I’ve acted perfectly here! I am saying I really want to try with you.” His voice went all soft and Aaron melted, despite his better judgement.

“Has there been anyone else since?” Aaron asked. “Anyone. I don’t care if it was just a kiss, I want to know.”

“No,” Robert said. “Just her. I’m confused, and my head’s all over the place, but I’m not stupid. I know you’re different.”

“Different?” Aaron scowled, not liking that description at all.

“Different from all the rest. The way I feel about you is different.”

“How do you feel about me?” Aaron asked. He wasn’t used to this, he didn’t do touchy feely stuff. He didn’t ask questions like this.

“You don’t treat me differently,” Robert said. “I’m famous, I’m well off, and I’m… sometimes people treat me like I’m a free meal ticket. And you don’t treat me like that, you talk to me like I’m normal. I’ve never been normal in my life, and I like that about you. I like that you like me. Not my name, or my talent, or my money. But me. And I don't like me all the time, so that matters. I like…”

“Okay,” Aaron said, seeing that Robert was struggling, the words getting fainter, his hand going to Robert‘s face in comfort. “Sorry. For pushing.”

“Ah! Gentle,” Robert said and Aaron moved his hand away from Robert’s bruised jaw, a little down his neck, touch soft.

“Sorry,” Aaron said. “Look, shall we go inside. Or… do you just want me to leave you alone?”

“No, I don’t want to be left alone,” Robert said. “I text you because I want you here.” Aaron smiled. “I just want to forget about the weekend, forget about everything and spend time with you. If you still want to…”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. He leaned up and kissed Robert gently, lips melding together with a “mm” from Robert.

“I’m going to have a shower. A long one, wash the weekend off. Why don’t you order a pizza, or something… just…”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, interrupting. “I like the sound of that.”

* * *

 

They couldn’t get pizza. The pizza place didn’t deliver this far away, so Aaron made them mugs of tea as Robert raided the fridge. “Robert, I’m not going to only have this part of you while you’re working stuff out,” Aaron said, stirring the sugar into his mug. He watched the liquid swirl in the cup so he wouldn’t have to look at Robert.

“I’m not following you,” Robert said after a moment.

“I don’t want anyone else to touch you,” Aaron said. “As long as we’re doing this, I’m it. I don’t want a man, a woman, I don’t want you with anyone else.”

“Will you look at me?” Aaron did, bracing himself. Robert really was beautiful, bruised jaw aside. He looked gorgeous, and it was a struggle not to get lost in those blue eyes. “I won’t be with anyone else. I don’t want anyone else. Just you.”

“Okay,” Aaron said.

“That goes for you as well, though,” Robert said.

“What?”

“Have you seen you?” Robert asked. “At least with me, you know I can’t hide it. If I’m with someone, it’s usually all over the internet in minutes, so you’ll know. You could be with anyone and I’d have no idea. So I’ve just got to trust you, haven’t I?” Robert said.

“I’m not with anyone else, Robert,” Aaron said surely. “I’m not… I’m not trying to get sex from another man because I’m not getting it from you, I wouldn’t push you.”

“I know that,” Robert said, reaching around him to grab his tea, and kissing Aaron's cheek in passing. “I’m going to get clean.” Aaron nodded, both of them going upstairs, Robert in the shower, Aaron lying on the bed, flicking through a hundred pointless channels that he knew Robert never watched.

* * *

 

Robert stood in the shower, running his hands over his body, thinking. He wanted Aaron to touch him. He wasn’t particularly body conscious, he was in great shape, his career relied on it after all. And he shared a changing room with twenty other men most days, he wasn’t shy about being naked. He pushed his palms over his thighs, thinking about Aaron touching him there, hips too. He thought about Aaron’s scars. He’d obviously been nervous before taking his shirt off, but he’d got over it. Maybe that was something Robert needed to do too. Maybe once he made that first jump, he wouldn’t be so scared. Because he did want him, a lot.

“Aaron?” he called loudly, making a choice.

“Yeah, hang on.” Aaron came into the bathroom, all easy and casual, seeing Robert in the shower. “What, you’ve forgotten the shampoo or something?”

“No,” Robert said. “Do you want to get in with me?” Aaron’s eyes darkened as Robert pulled the frosted glass back. His eyes dipped, looked over every inch of Robert, Robert starting to feel so self conscious.

“Yeah,” Aaron said, voice a little strained. “I do.” Aaron pulled his hoodie and shirt off in one motion, before his hands went to his belt. Robert bit his bottom lip as he slowly watched Aaron strip, completely without any hesitance. God, how did he do that? Robert licked his lips as Aaron stood there completely naked in front of him.

“Are you sure?” Aaron asked and Robert nodded. He wanted this and he was tired of being afraid. Aaron walked towards the shower and kissed him, both of them ignoring a significant amount of water getting all over the bathroom floor. Robert gripped his hand and pulled him into the shower, closing the glass and pressing him against the tiled wall. Aaron kissed his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, then his lips. Robert smiled against him, getting into this, Aaron’s hands coming around Robert’s body, his hips and pulling him close. Robert gasped into a kiss, hand around Aaron’s neck so he could keep him as close as possible.

“You taste so good,” Robert whispered, without willing the words and Aaron grinned. Aaron’s two fingers skated across Robert’s hip, getting close to him.

“Is this okay?” Aaron asked, and Robert nodded.

“Yeah. Keep going.” Robert sighed, bending a little so he could kiss along Aaron’s collarbone, sighing as he sucked up his throat before kissing his lips. Aaron’s hand on him felt good. Almost too good. His fingertips were barely adding more pressure than the water, and it was definitely on the teasing edge of things. Robert ran his fingers down the V of Aaron’s pelvic muscle and Aaron groaned deep in his throat.

“I want to get on my knees for you,” Aaron whispered dirtily.

“I’m not stopping you,” Robert said after only half a seconds pause. “But… bed, first. I don’t know how long my legs are going to hold out.”

“You?” Aaron teased. “Aren’t your legs your career?”

“I don’t know how good your mouth is yet.” Aaron laughed, a little surprised and Robert grinned.

“Come on.” Robert grabbed the towels, switching off the shower. Robert opened the bathroom cabinet, grabbing the condoms and the lube, making Aaron stop in surprise.

“Robert, are you sure?” Aaron said lowly. “I don’t want to push you.”

“I’m nervous, but… I wanna know what it feels like. I really want you, Aaron, I can’t not. So yeah, I’m sure.” Aaron kissed him gently.

“I’ll be gentle,” he said, only half teasing.

“Aaron, I might be new at this,” Robert said. “But I’m a fast learner.” He smirked, and Aaron smiled back.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the requested smutty / explicit chapter. If it's not your kinda thing, you can skip this chapter and it won't effect the rest of the story. But given Robert's reservations about being with a man for the first time here, I felt it was important to write about this from his perspective. Which was annoying, because this has taken me ages to do! Enjoy!

Robert pushed Aaron backwards into the bedroom, kissing him deeply, eyes closed. He meant what he’d said, he wanted this. That didn’t mean his nerves were gone, though. Aaron’s fingers toyed with the towel around his waist, and soon it was dropped onto the floor, a little pointless wrapping himself up in it in the first place. Robert pushed Aaron onto the bed, both of them naked and damp from the shower. Aaron wrapped his thighs around Robert, rolling his hips a little and Robert gasped at the stimulation, and they'd barely got going.

“Before we get started…” Robert said breathlessly. Aaron rolled his eyes playfully, like Robert was changing his mind, but he wasn’t. “If you touch my left calf, my physiotherapists are going to kill you in your sleep.”

Aaron laughed, because that he wasn’t expecting. “You’re not that delicate, are you?”

“Just warning you,” Robert said, kissing him again. “Everything else is fair game, though.”

“Everything?” Aaron questioned, feeling like the air was heavy with the implications.

“Yeah,” Robert said softly. Aaron leaned up and kissed Robert softly, lips brushing with far more gentleness than Robert expected Aaron capable of.

Aaron twisted his hips and suddenly flipped them over, Robert lying on the mattress instead, Aaron looming over him with a smile. “Just relax, Robert,” Aaron whispered, kissing his neck. Robert clutched at Aaron’s hair, fingers tugging as Aaron kissed down his chest, teeth dragging a little, just on the good side of too much. Robert groaned as Aaron’s tongue licked his nipple. That felt so good, and the rasp of his chin was adding to the exquisite sensations running through his body. He was hard already, and Aaron had barely touched him. God, he hoped he didn't come too soon, that would be highly embarrassing.

Aaron kept working down his body, and Robert started tilting his hips, needing some friction, a hand on him, anything. “Be patient,” Aaron whispered. He licked across Robert’s hip, then gently blew on the wet skin, making Robert whine for him and Aaron laughed, looking up at Robert, eyes sparkling. Aaron stroked him and Robert bucked underneath his body. Aaron kept looking directly at him as he lowered his mouth to Robert’s cock, somehow still looking at him, making it so intense and intimate.

Robert’s head tipped back, gasping for breath as Aaron’s mouth worked on him. “Jesus.” He couldn’t breathe, Aaron’s tongue hitting all his sensitive spots and he opened his thighs even wider, trying to encourage him to take him deeper. That, and the fingers tugging in Aaron’s hair made it obvious how this was driving him crazy. Aaron chuckled, which with where his mouth was, made Robert whimper. So sensitive and Aaron knew exactly what he was doing.

Aaron drew back, and looked up at Robert, licking his lips, making him shiver. They were wet and shiny and Robert almost couldn’t cope with how good he looked right now, how badly he wanted Aaron to fuck him.

“Have you ever had your arse played with?” Aaron asked bluntly.

“Er, no,” Robert said, embarrassed. God, he hated this, he felt like a teenager again.

“I think you’re going to enjoy this,” Aaron said with a wicked grin. “Roll over.” Robert did, Aaron’s hands on his hips helping him to shift.

Robert felt glad he laid on his front, because he could moan into the pillow as much as he needed to, and Aaron wouldn’t see his face. One finger gently circled his hole and Robert breathed heavily. He could feel Aaron teasing him, getting close but not quite there.

“Get on with it,” Robert said.

“Impatient,” Aaron grinned. Robert rolled his eyes, then heard the click of the top on the lube. He froze, then jumped as the cold liquid touched his arse. “Relax, you’ll like it.” Robert wasn’t stupid, he might be inexperienced, but he was aware enough to know that Aaron was being gentle and slow with him, as the tip of Aaron’s finger pushed inside him, just a little, his muscles flexing and clenching around him. “Mm, you feel good,” Aaron said, pushing a little more.

Aaron rubbed his face against Robert’s arse, and he let out a high pitched moan at the prickling sensation, adding to the experience. Aaron kissed along his skin, and Robert panicked as it was obvious where he was heading.

“Aaron, what’re you doing?” Robert asked quickly, twisting to look at him.

“Making sure you don’t sit down tomorrow without thinking of me.” Aaron started rimming him without hesitation and Robert bit into the pillow, trying to hold in how good it felt. Aaron’s tongue kept darting around the edge, and Robert had to fight from arching his back into it. Robert jerked when he felt the tip of Aaron’s tongue inside him, it felt so achingly good. And then a finger, slowly being opened up.

“Oh God…” Robert moaned.

“You good?” Aaron asked, voice rough.

“Very.” Aaron smirked, mouth going back to his hole. Robert whined against the feeling, because it was sending sparks of pure hot lust through him. It felt so indescribable compared to anything he'd felt during sex before. "Don't stop!" he moaned as Aaron straightened up, laying against him, finger still inside him.

Robert’s eyes were blown with lust and Aaron kissed him softly. Robert could taste himself on Aaron’s mouth, and it felt so good, to know how much he was wanted. Aaron watched his face, searching for any flicker of emotion that showed Robert in pain, as he slowly pushed his finger deeper inside him. There wasn’t any. Robert’s palm went to Aaron’s face, keeping him looking at him, so close. This was more than the physical, this was the emotional, intimate kind of sex, he could feel it with every flicker of Aaron's eyes, every twitch of his beautiful mouth.

It was when he started on the second lubed finger that Robert winced, the stretch a little more than he was prepared for. “Want me to stop?”

“No,” Robert whispered. “Just…”

“Slow, yeah,” Aaron said, twisting his wrist, Robert’s eyes closed through instinct. “No, look at me,” Aaron said. Robert did, surging forward and kissing him as Aaron scissored his fingers. Robert kissed him lazily, uncoordinated and Aaron knew he was getting to him now. He moved his fingers and Robert looked at him in a little surprise.

“You’ll know when I get there,” Aaron said lowly. He curled his fingers, looking for his prostate. Robert mewled, arching when Aaron brushed against it. “Oh, there?” Aaron asked cheekily, doing it again. And again.

“Oh… oh… my God, fuck,” Robert burst out, grinding down on his fingers, inhibitions fading fast. Aaron smirked at him, enjoying this.

“Chuck me a cushion, will ya?” Aaron said, voice low and rough. Robert did, bewildered and then Aaron shoved it under his hips. For a moment, Robert felt horribly exposed. Then Aaron lay on top of him, kissing his lips, and Robert forgot, bucking upwards to get some friction on his cock, needing some kind of relief.

Robert was getting impatient now. He grabbed the condom packet which was on the bed and tore it open, before rolling it on Aaron’s cock. Aaron grunted as Robert’s fingers stroked him, giving him some long awaited stimulation. Robert suddenly liked having Aaron under his control, enjoyed the sighing, the gasping at Robert’s touch, the way Aaron’s eyes lost focus. 

“Stop,” Aaron groaned. Robert backed off. “I’m gonna come if you carry on,” he whispered and Robert grinned.

Aaron braced himself on top of him, rolling his hips so Robert could feel his dick. Aaron’s fingers stretched him out again, a little less gentle this time. Robert shifted, half holding his legs back, half wrapped around Aaron’s waist, almost offering his body up to him, and Aaron nodded in silent understanding.

“Just relax,” Aaron whispered into his neck. “It won’t hurt for long, I promise.”

“Okay,” Robert breathed. “Go on.” He grunted, eyes screwed shut as Aaron slowly pushed inside. “Oh God…”

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Aaron groaned, stilling inside him. Robert panted, trying to focus on the stretch, trying to work through it until it felt good. He was hardly inside him at all. “I need to move…” Aaron breathed . “Is that…?”

“Yeah,” Robert breathed. “Yeah, just go slow.” Aaron did, short movements getting deeper and Robert groaned loudly. It felt like he had absolutely nowhere to go, being stretched to the point where it felt a little uncomfortable. Aaron bottomed out, thank God and Robert gasped for breath, panting through it, sweat beading on his forehead.

“Talk to me,” Aaron said.

“S good…” Robert said, voice strained. “Tight. Give me a minute.”

“Mm.” Aaron leaned close and kissed him, soft almost feather light kisses while Robert adjusted to him, his hand stroking Robert’s thigh, palm sliding along the muscle wrapped around his waist. Robert nodded, clenching around him, and Aaron gasped, taking the signal to move. He thrust inside him and Robert moaned, his head rolling back, mouth hanging open, like he couldn't find air.

Aaron made sure to keep varying the rhythm, trying to find what Robert liked most. Short sharp thrusts, long deep strokes. Robert was so responsive, there didn't seem to be a preference. He was open to it all, anything Aaron would give him. He might be closeted, but he clearly liked sex that felt good. Robert kept tightening his legs around Aaron's waist, and the pressure from those muscles was slowly driving Aaron mad. God, those thighs...

Aaron kissed him in time with his thrusts, feeling every gasp and moan across his lips as Robert kept moaning for deeper, for more. He wasn't shy, he'd lost all that now. Aaron had done that to him, he thought, pushing in again.

"So good..." Robert breathed. "This... ah..." Aaron wasn't going to draw it out, the foreplay had already brought Robert close, and this was his first time. A few more snaps of his hips and Robert was begging and whimpering underneath him.

Robert could feel himself near to his climax, the rush, the heat of it fast approaching. “I’m close,” Robert breathed, pressed against Aaron‘s body in a way that he couldn't get a hand on himself properly. “I need more, I need…”

“I’ve got you,” Aaron said, a hand wrapping around his length and stroking him off efficiently, while almost gazing into his eyes. Robert felt the rush, and he moaned loudly as he came all over Aaron’s fist, hips pumping body tightening around Aaron. Aaron bit into his bottom lip to try and hold on, but with Robert's perfect body, it was difficult.

Robert's body was clearly coming down from his high, but Aaron needed more, and he was surprised when Robert rolled over, straddling him. Robert made sure that Aaron was still inside him, almost bruising his sensitive flesh. “What’re you doing?” Aaron asked, now he was clearly handing control over to Robert.

“You haven’t come yet.” Robert said, voice cracked as he rolled his hips forward, and Aaron groaned as Robert rode him.

“I’m not far off,” Aaron panted. 

Robert was fit, and his eyes feasted on him, miles of perfect freckled skin as he thrust up. Robert must be sensitive by now but he wanted Aaron to feel this, he could see the determination and lust on his face. Watching Robert ride him sent him so near the edge that Aaron could already feel it close. Aaron had his hands on Robert’s hips, controlling the angle, making him push down hard. Aaron's rhythm stuttered and he whimpered as his orgasm approached. Robert looked at him as with one final thrust, it overtook him.

Robert watched every flicker of emotion on his face, God he looked stunning when he came. Face overtaken with deep bone shaking pleasure. Aaron breathed in deeply, smiling as Robert collapsed on top of him, Aaron pulling out of him slowly. The both sighed in a little discomfort as overly sensitive skin parted. Aaron fumbled, taking off the condom and tying it up before chucking it in the vague direction of the bin, Robert covering them both with the duvet.

“I crash hard after sex,” Aaron said, words slurring into each other, eyes closed. Robert smiled, kissed his cheek, and he was gone, soft snoring filling the bedroom. Robert smiled at him before getting up slowly, feeling bruised in several places in a delicious way. Robert went through to the bathroom and cleaned himself up, looking in the mirror and smiling at himself. He could see Aaron’s teeth marks in the top of his shoulder though and he rubbed the mark softly. It felt good. He got back into bed, nuzzled Aaron’s neck, and slept.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My work restarts tomorrow, so chapters might be a bit less regular! Thank you for the encouragement, I hope you enjoy this!

Robert awoke slowly, feeling lethargic and tired enough to fall straight back to sleep. He reached across to check the time and groaned, because he had training today. He couldn’t just sleep, no matter how much he wanted to. But he also didn’t have to get up right away either. Aaron lay on his back, peacefully sleeping, looking a little younger in sleep. Last night had been… incredible. Intimate, overwhelming and really, really good.

He groaned as he felt the ache in his thighs and arse. God, today’s training was going to hurt. Aaron woke up at hearing his moan, and he smiled at Robert. “Morning.”

“Hi,” Robert said softly, kissing him. “I’m not gay.” Aaron’s face filled with disappointment and hurt.

“Look, I can’t keep doing this with you,” Aaron said. “I can’t keep going round in circles with you.” Aaron looked as if he was debating getting out of bed and leaving. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay, Robert.”

“No, I meant…” Robert sighed. “I think I might be bi.” That made the disappointment fall from Aaron’s face instantly, and he relaxed much more into the bed, looking at Robert. His hand rested on Robert’s hip lightly, thumb soothing circles onto his skin.

“How did that feel to say?” Aaron asked, realising that he was probably the first person Robert had allowed himself to come out to.

“Terrifying,” Robert admitted, and Aaron smiled slightly. “I haven’t… the women I’ve been with, it’s not because I’m hiding my attraction to men. That never even entered my head. I always did it because I wanted to.”

“And then I came along,” Aaron said and Robert nodded once, a soft smile on his face.

“Yeah, and you changed things.”

“It gets easier,” Aaron said. “The more you say it, the more you accept yourself, it gets easier.”

“Yeah, for you maybe,” Robert said. “There’s a couple of million people who are way too interested in my private life that…” Robert didn’t finish his sentence.

“The only person who needs to accept yourself is you,” Aaron said. “I know it’s going to be… tricky because of who you are, but… It does get easier.”

“I’m bisexual.” Robert let out a sigh and Aaron kissed him.

“World didn’t end?”

“World didn’t end,” Robert agreed. “I don’t know how we handle this or where we go from here. With the press, the team, the media, but I wanna be with you.”

“And I want to be with you,” Aaron said. “Everything else will just… work itself out.”

“Will it?”

“Yeah.” Aaron kissed him, a little deeper, smiling against his lips. Robert froze, and Aaron heard it too. The sound of smashing glass from downstairs. Robert got out of bed, throwing some clothes on, heart racing as he listened for more. He grabbed his phone in case he was being burgled, and on the spur of the moment, grabbed a golf club from his wardrobe. Aaron stared at it.

“I’m sorry, you play golf?” Aaron asked in complete disbelief, grabbing his hoodie.

“God no. I got gifted the clubs for a sponsorship deal.”

“But…” Aaron’s face was screwed up in complete distaste.

“You want to have a deep conversation about this now?!” Robert hissed. Aaron admitted he had a point, and grabbed a club himself, just in case. Robert was surprisingly light on his feet down the stairs. He could hear movement in the kitchen, and his heart started to race, wondering if he should have called the police first. He walked into the kitchen and almost threw the bloody golf club.

“Louise!”

“Sorry, I’ll replace it,” she said, then seeing both men holding golf clubs like weapons she looked at them in shock. “I broke a glass vase, you don’t have to threaten me with bodily harm!”

“I thought you were a burglar!” Robert shouted as his heart rate tried to come back down to normal. “Oh for God’s sake, what’re you doing?!”

“You gave me a key!” Louise said, 

“I gave you a key for if the fire alarm goes off when I’m out of the country for a match,” Robert said. “Not for “I’ll just pop in whenever I feel like it!”"

“I didn’t interrupt you two!” she said indignantly. “Hi Aaron.”

“Hi,” Aaron said, forcing a smile. “Nice to see you again.” Robert moved through to the living room and saw a blanket and pillows on the sofa.

“Have you been here all night?” Robert asked.

“Sorry,” she said, dropping her jokey tone. “I needed help.”

“For what?”

“Chris asked me to marry him.” There was silence in the kitchen.

“I’ll grab a shower at home,” Aaron said, breaking the moment. “See you later, Robert.”

“Yeah?” Robert said hopefully and Aaron smiled.

“Yeah.” Aaron kissed him, maybe a little deeper than he should have done with company, but Robert couldn’t bring himself to care. “Have fun at training.”

“Mm,” Robert said. Aaron picked up his phone and keys, and shoved his trainers on before leaving the house, the door closing.

“Don’t need to ask how your night was, then?” Louise said.

“When did you turn up?” Robert asked her, suddenly suspecting she’d woken up here.

“Probably about midway through, judging by the volume,” she said.

“For that I should chuck you out,” Robert said, trying not to go bright red.

“I’m teasing,” she said. “And I do need your advice,” she added seriously.

“Well, I’m going to be late,” Robert said. “Let me get dressed properly, and we’ll chat on the drive. Okay?”

“Perfect.”

* * *

 

“So... when are you going to introduce me?” Chas asked with a smile as Aaron came in to the back room, obvious he‘d been out for the night.

“To who?” Aaron asked, sticking the kettle on and putting some bread in the toaster. He was starving and couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten.

“Don’t play stupid!” Chas said. “I know you’ve got a boyfriend. You keep vanishing for hours at a time.”

“Look, it’s nothing,” Aaron said.

“I don’t believe you,” Chas said. “Come on, what’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing’s wrong with him.”

“So there IS someone,” Chas said with victory.

“Yeah, all right, there is someone,” Aaron said, not looking at her as he made his tea. “But no, you’re not meeting him.”

“But… I’ll be nice!” Chas said, the disappointment clear on her face. Aaron privately doubted that, especially if she knew he was seeing Robert. Nice was about the last thing he expected from Chas.

“He’s really shy,” Aaron settled on. “It’s new, and I’m not about to pressure him by making him meet my mother. Okay?”

“Fine!” Chas said. “But soon, yeah?”

“Maybe,” Aaron said. He wanted to keep Robert and Chas as far apart as possible, so he’d put that one off for as long as he could.

* * *

“So, what did you say when he proposed?” Robert asked, focusing on driving.

“I said I’d think about it,” Louise said. “I wasn't expecting it though. Did you know he was going to ask me?”

“No,” Robert said honestly. “What’s stopping you from saying yes?”

“I love him,” Louise said, biting her bottom lip. “I love him so much but… It’s the pressure Robert. If I do marry him… my face will be everywhere, the press… I’ll be… God, I don’t know.”

“Forget about the press and the media,” Robert said. “You don’t live your life for them.”

“Oh, it’s that easy?” Louise asked. “Why don’t you kiss Aaron goodbye on the street, before you go off and play a match?”

“Yeah, I take your point,” Robert said. “And yes, I’m keeping Aaron quiet. But if we stay together, I won’t forever.”

“No?”

“It terrifies me, the thought of being with him so publicly, though,” Robert said. “But if I still wanted to be with him, and I haven’t done anything to mess it up, then eventually… the journalists won’t stop me.”

“Eventually?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I know it’s not easy. I can already see the articles in my mind.” Robert fought down the fear, because that wasn’t helping and right now, this wasn’t about him. “Is that the only reason you’re not saying yes?”

“I can see my future with him,” Louise said. “And the thought of that… it makes me happy.”

“Then I don’t see a problem,” Robert said slowly. “I know it’s scary, believe me.”

Louise sighed. She reached into her handbag and took out the ring box, flicking it open. Robert glanced across. The centre diamond was huge.

“Wow, he didn’t skimp on that, did he?”

“No,” Louise said with a smile. She tried it on and looked at it on her finger for a few moments, before putting it back in the box, snapping it shut. She seemed much happier than she had before, more settled within herself.

“Look, if it’s too much, you could always elope,” Robert said. “You don’t have to sell your wedding to whichever magazine’s interested. Just give me a call and I’ll grab my suit and turn up wherever you want for best man duties.” Louise laughed.

“How’re you doing?” she asked. “How’re things with Aaron?”

“Good,” Robert said.

“Is that all I get?” she asked into the silence. Robert sighed.

“Louise, I think I’m really falling for him.” Robert shook his head. “I can’t stop thinking about him, and I…”

“Robert, that’s good,” Louise said.

“Mm, maybe,” Robert said. “Bit inconvenient though.”

“Robert, you being happy is more important than any game of football.”

“Why don’t you take your own advice, then?” Robert said quickly and Louise nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, that's probably what I'll do.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was nudged for this chapter today. Hope you enjoy despite the wait! Some of this got serious, so warnings for all kinds of Aaron canon things, Jackson story line, attempt at suicide etc. It's mentioned, not as bad as the show so it should be okay. Thanks for being patient!

Louise came into the football grounds with him, wanting to talk to Chris. Robert didn’t know what they discussed, but Chris certainly had a grin on his face throughout their drills that day. Robert felt glad, they were a good couple and Louise was happy with him. Robert pushed himself, trying to ignore his burning muscles. A prolonged sex session probably hadn’t been the best ideas. Actually, it had been a fantastic idea, Robert thought with a smirk. He had another thought, but he called Aaron before doing anything about it.

“Hi,” Aaron said. “All right?” 

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I was thinking…”

“Dangerous…”

“Do you want to come and see my play?” Robert asked. “It’s a home match this weekend, and I thought… you might want to see me?”

“Er…” Aaron hesitated.

“I’m not thinking… we wouldn’t be out in public together, there’s a big section of players guests, so it wouldn’t be like there’s a spotlight on you. Louise could come, if you wanted some company…” Aaron still didn’t say anything. “Forget it, it’s a stupid idea,” Robert said, losing all confidence.

“No, I didn’t say that,” Aaron said. “I just we can’t look at each other wrong, because someone might pick up on it. A football ground can be a busy place. And I know you don't want this... to be public knowledge.”

“I can keep my hands off you for one day.” Aaron laughed and it eased some of Robert’s tension.

“Yeah, okay. Reserve me a ticket.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “You’ll be on a pitch, I’ll be in the stands, I think we can get away with it.”

“Thanks,” Robert said. “I er… besides Vic, I’ve not really asked anyone to actually see me play.”

“Oh?” Aaron said. “So… this is big?”

“I just… it’s the one thing I do well. And yeah, I‘d quite like you to be watching.”

“Then I’ll be there.” Robert couldn’t deny the relief he felt.

“Good.”

“How was Louise this morning?”

“I calmed her down,” Robert said. “She’s a good friend. Sorry about this morning.”

“It’s fine,” Aaron said. “I’ll come over after work?”

“Sounds good,” Robert said. “Bye.”

* * *

“Listen…”

“Oh, no, that’s a bad listen,” Robert said on the phone, feeling disappointment already creeping up on him.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got to do overtime at the garage,” Aaron said.

“Oh, leave Cain to it,” Robert said.

“I would, but I kinda…” Aaron cleared his throat. “This mess is my problem. I “fixed” a car, and it came back two hours later. It’s my mistake, I’ve got to stay and repair it.”

“Fine,” Robert said. Then, in a lower tone, “Don’t make me start without you.”

“Rob, come on,” Aaron said, hearing Robert laugh. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

“Bye.”

* * *

 

Aaron sat in his car outside Roberts, letting the quiet of the night try to calm him down. While what he’d said was true, he had been doing overtime, but he was also putting off this conversation. He wanted to keep seeing Robert, he couldn’t stop thinking about him. And if this relationship continued, if or maybe when it got out into the public eye, (which he couldn’t lie to himself, did slightly terrify him.) But if that happened, Aaron’s past was going to be dug up. And he felt he probably owed Robert an explanation about his criminal record, before some trashy tabloid dug it up. Which meant Aaron wasn’t particularly looking forward to tonight’s conversation. He didn't want this thing with Robert to end.

Robert had told him to walk in, so he did, finding Robert in the kitchen. “Hi,” he said. “I picked up a Chinese takeaway.” Aaron watched as Robert unpacked the boxes, the delicious smell filling the room. “I’ve got a bit of everything, so dig in.” Robert looked at him and instantly caught on to something wrong. “What?”

“I need to talk to you,” Aaron said.

“Are you ending this?” Robert asked, looking at him steadily, obviously worried.

“No.”

“Then eat first,” Robert said softly. “It might not look so bad after food.” Robert kissed his cheek lightly in passing as he grabbed two plates and Aaron nodded. He hadn’t eaten all day, so food would be good.

* * *

Aaron did feel better after having eaten, Robert was right. They were both sat on the sofa, and Robert prompted him. “So, what is it?”

“I just want to talk to you, about my past,” Aaron said. “You’re bound to have heard things in the village, and… if this, me and you comes out… God, I dread to think what the press is going to be like.”

“They’re not important,” Robert said, though it was obvious he didn’t really believe that.

“Then why don’t you take me out to dinner tomorrow night?” Robert flinched. “I’m not pushing you, that’s not what this is. I’m not going to make you come out, Robert. But… you said about me seeing you play, and I started thinking… if at some point, some journalist does catch on, I’d rather you knew the truth from me.”

“Okay,” Robert said. He moved closer and squeezed Aaron’s hand tightly for a moment. “Go on.”

“Well, I suppose the big one is… I was tried for murder.” Robert’s eyes widened. “I got found not guilty, obviously. I wouldn’t be here otherwise, but…”

“What happened?” Robert asked. “Was it a mistake, or…?”

“No, it wasn’t a mistake,” Aaron said, feeling sad as the memories overtook him. “I killed him.”

“I’m going to need a little bit more explanation,” Robert said, looking wary, but not scared of him. Something Aaron felt unbelievably grateful for.

“His name was Jackson,” Aaron said slowly. “He was the first guy I was with. It was more of a first love kind of thing, and we’d been on and off for a while. Anyway, he got into an accident. He... ended up paralysed from the neck down. He couldn’t do anything, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t do anything for himself.” Aaron shrugged. “I’m not stupid, I don’t think we’d have stayed together if he hadn’t ended up that way.” Aaron bit his lip and Robert turned his hand over, caressing the skin lightly. Aaron appreciated the comforting touch.

“Jackson didn’t want to live like that,” Aaron said. “He wanted to end it. But given that all he could move was his head… he needed help.”

“Which is where you came in,” Robert said.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “His mum, she couldn’t do it, so it was left to me, and… and I…”

“It’s okay,” Robert soothed gently.

“No, it’s not,” Aaron said. “It’ll never leave me. Anyway, I was tried for murder, and got found not guilty. I still don’t know if that was the right choice, because the guilt I still feel when I let myself think about it…” Aaron’s voice wobbled, and he found his face pressed into Robert’s shirt. Robert kissed the top of his head and stroked his back comfortingly before laying them both out on the sofa, pressed together. Aaron couldn’t go on, but it was clear Robert didn’t actually need him to. Robert spanned his palms across Aaron’s body and it felt incredibly good to have that touch.

“I’ve got a GBH conviction too,” Aaron said, when the quiet started to feel a little too much. “I hit Jackson. I… when he tried to kiss me and I was still trying to work out if I was gay, I… hit him. That’s on my record as well.”

“You didn’t want to be gay?”

“I was really adamant that I wasn't gay. I wanted to be normal.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

“I know that now,” Aaron said. “As a teenager, I didn’t know that.” He sighed. “I went around with a few girls, and when Jackson kissed me, I… well, I was lashing out at myself really.” Aaron cleared his throat. “I was so desperate, I tried to kill myself.”

“Aaron!” Robert said, more in shock than anything else.

“Tried to gas myself in a car.”

“But… but…” Robert spluttered.

“I got over it,” Aaron said. “Learned to accept who I was, not wish I was someone different.”

“You can’t do that,” Robert said urgently. “You can’t… try to…”

“I’m not feeling the need any more,” Aaron said. “Don’t worry, I’ll be around for a few years yet.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Robert said seriously, kissing him. They settled, holding each other and Aaron felt himself calm down. He’d been nervous about telling Robert his history, but he also hadn’t wanted him to find out from anyone else. It would only take one sly word from Brenda, and Robert would be questioning why Aaron had lied to him. And this was important enough to Aaron, that he wanted to be honest. Robert’s hand slipped up to his head and felt really good, running through his hair.

“Oh, and I skipped bail. Lived in France for a bit,” Aaron added.

“Skipped bail for what?” Robert asked.

“Arson.” Robert huffed, wondering how much more there was. “I didn’t do that one.”

“Then…”

“Adam did it,” Aaron said. “He er… was going through some family stuff, and I took the fall for him.”

“Why would you do that?” Robert asked in confusion.

“Adam’s a mate.”

“That’s **_some_** mate,” Robert said in surprise. “Why?”

“Because… I’ll do anything for the people in my life.” Aaron looked at him, and Robert knew he meant it. Once you were lucky enough to have Aaron in your life, that was it. Robert wondered if and when he’d be considered someone Aaron would do anything for. The thought was a good one, sending a thrill through him.

“I want to take you to bed,” Robert said, his fingers toying with the hem of Aaron’s shirt.

“I’m not in the mood for sex,” Aaron said.

Robert’s hand spread out against his back, comforting and reassuring. “Let me take you to bed.” Aaron looked at him, and knew he didn’t mean sex, and nodded, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “I like the sound of that.”

* * *

Aaron woke up to hear Robert on the phone. It was clearly a call from work, because he was scribbling stuff down and saying “The thirtieth of the month? Yeah. Sure.” Aaron blinked himself awake and watched Robert move around on his desk. He had his back to him and Aaron looked across his freckled pale skin. He was gorgeous. Aaron looked across the well defined muscles from his football career, before he let his eyes dip to his arse. Unfortunately wearing underwear, but you couldn’t have everything. Aaron dragged his gaze down his thighs, then couldn’t see anything else from the bed. Robert turned and looked at him, smirking as if he knew exactly what he’d been doing.

“Great. Thanks. Bye.” He put the phone down and looked at Aaron. “How did you sleep?”

“Really well,” Aaron said, stretching in bed. He had, like a load had been taken off his mind. He hadn’t even realised how much that had been weighing on him, and Robert hadn’t criticised him once. “Who was that?”

“I’m being given the schedule for the international matches England have got coming up,” Robert said. “That’s all.”

“You’re going away?” Aaron asked. He hadn’t expected that. Hadn’t put the rational thought into it, though logically, of course an international footballer wouldn’t be home all the time.

“Well, I have to at some point. We’ve got an England Germany match in a few weeks. Qualification.”

“For the world cup?” Aaron asked and Robert nodded, getting back into bed.

“I saw you eyeing me up,” Robert said.

“You’re... just a little bit fit,” Aaron said, eyes sparkling. “What time is it?”

“Er… nearly ten,” Robert said.

“What?” Aaron spluttered. “I’m late for work! God, Cain’ll kill me.”

“I er… called him,” Robert said, making Aaron stare at him in disbelief. “My car had “broken down” so I said you were helping me out. I’ll get a bill, but…”

“I don’t want you to have to pay to spend time with me,” Aaron scowled. He didn’t like that idea one little bit.

“I’m paying for you to get some decent sleep,” Robert said. “That’s not money wasted. What’d you want for breakfast?”

“Toast’d be nice,” Aaron said with a soft smile. “Thanks.” Robert winked at him, threw on an old football shirt and went down the stairs, leaving Aaron sighing in contentment. He could really fall for him here. If he let himself, he could really by gone. God, he was in trouble.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took ages to write, so I really hope you enjoy it! Thank you for the support, and for being patient with this!

 

When it came down to it, it ended up being a lot of them going to see Robert’s match. Adam had wanted to hang out with Aaron over the weekend, and he’d stupidly mentioned the football match he was going to. They had had some drinks in the pub with Robert a few times b now, so people knew they were friendly and Adam wanted to tag along, which eventually ended up including Vic too. And then Robert was trying to mend fences with Andy, so he’d extended the olive branch as well. Adam and Vic drove together, Katie and Andy were also together, leaving Robert and Aaron sharing a car. It hadn’t been the romantic “come and see me play” that Aaron or Robert had expected, and Robert for one hated that. He’d wanted the weekend with his… boyfriend. He only hesitated for a moment, even mentally before saying it to himself. Because that’s what Aaron was, right?

The morning of Robert’s football match, Aaron woke up in his bed. Robert was watching him sleep and Aaron scowled.

“What’re you doing?” Aaron grumbled at him.

“Watching you sleep,” Robert said. “Thinking about today,” he added before Aaron could say it was creepy to be watching him.

“Look, I don’t want to cause issues,” Aaron said. “I don’t have to come today, it’s fine. You could have time with your brother and your sister, I‘ll stay here.”

“You don’t want to come?” Robert looked completely crestfallen.

“Well… I will if you want, but I thought you were worried about how it would look to other people. And I don’t want to complicate your life. You‘ll have a good day without me.”

“Come to the match,” Robert said surely. “I want you there. And you were the one I actually invited.” Aaron hesitated. “Don’t make me beg.”

“Now I’m curious what you’ll do if I _did_ make you beg,” Aaron said with a grin, and a bubbly undercurrent of laughter into another kiss.

“I’ll have to be at the grounds early though,” he warned. “We’ll beat the others there.

“Sounds good,” Aaron said.

* * *

Robert had been quiet on the drive to the stadium, and Aaron was again questioning why he was going with him, although silently. “I can head into town, I don’t have to…”

“No,” Robert said. “I want you here, I want you to see me play and it matters.”

“You’re really quiet, Robert,” Aaron said as Robert parked the car in the players area.

“I always am before a match. It’s not you.” Robert reached across and caressed Aaron’s thigh lightly. It sent far more shivers through him than it should do.

“I need to join the team before…”

“I know,” Aaron said. “See me to a pint, and I’ll be set.” Robert smiled and looked at him, eyes scanning over his face.

“I want to kiss you right now,” Robert said softly. He did, the urge to press his lips to Aaron’s was so potent he could almost taste it. He needed that comfort and reassurance. But he was on Yorkshire FC football grounds, and knowing that there could be CCTV cameras anywhere… he couldn’t risk it.

“I know,” Aaron said. He covered Robert’s hand resting on his thigh with his own and squeezed tightly. “Later, yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll make up for lost time.” Aaron smiled and let go of Robert’s hand. Instead he ran his finger across the back of Robert’s palm. He made sure to go slowly, the tip of his finger touching every indent of Robert’s knuckles. Aaron loved his large hands, could spend ages marvelling at them. Aaron looked up into Robert’s eyes, and the heat was rising between them in the confines of the car. A few more seconds and it wouldn’t have mattered who could have seen them but they were interrupted only by Robert’s phone beeping.

“It’s Chris, I have to…” Robert started, swallowing loudly as he took his hand back.

“Let’s go.” Aaron said with a smirk.

* * *

 

Aaron found himself in the VIP section, of players guests well before everyone else from the village arrived. But he was nursing a beer and mucking around on his phone while Robert prepared for the match, so it was fine. It also calmed his nerves, because being with Robert, even unobtrusively in public was nerve wracking.

By the time Adam, Vic and Andy arrived, Aaron was relaxed and looking forward to the match.

“Where’s Katie?” Aaron asked.

“She didn’t want to come and watch Robert,” Andy said. “She’s having a spa day instead.” Vic rolled her eyes like she wasn’t happy, but no one wanted to pick an argument right now. Andy was trying, and for Aaron, that was progress. He realised that he wanted Robert to be liked in the village, because it would make any potential future a lot easier.

* * *

Robert had settled into the pre match routine well, and he purposefully didn’t think about Aaron at all. He needed to get his head in the game. When he walked out onto the pitch, Roberts eyes scanned the crowd, knowing the vague area Aaron’s ticket was, and it took a few seconds for him to pick him out of the crowd. He was chatting with Adam, not looking at him, until he was. Aaron’s head turned towards him. His lips tilted a little, or maybe it was his imagination, because he was too far away to really see clearly. But knowing Aaron was watching gave him a thrill. This was going to be a good match, he could feel it.

* * *

Aaron wasn’t sure when he realised Robert was having a good game. Maybe when the first half was drawing to a close, Robert had scored once and set up the second goal. 

When they came back on after half time, Robert scored again, taking the score to 3-1, and the home supporters were going wild. Even Andy cracked a smile or two. Robert was having an incredibly good game and Aaron couldn’t take his eyes off of him. Robert hadn’t looked at him, or even in his vague direction since the first couple of minutes of the match. It was like his entire focus had gone on the game, able to shut everything else out. He wasn’t looking at the crowd, he was completely zoned in on what he was doing. Probably why he was so good at his job, and Robert looked really good doing it. Aaron tried not to stare at Robert’s thighs every time the big screens focused on him. He was only partly successful.

In the 84th minute, Aaron could sense it a few seconds before it happened. Chris passed Robert the ball, he took aim and kicked it, the ball looping beautifully into the back of the net, giving Robert his hat trick and the crowd something to cheer about.

After that, Robert did search him out in the crowd, and Aaron grinned widely. Tonight promised to be a good night, Aaron was sure of it.

* * *

 

“Are you coming out with the lads tonight?” Chris asked, beaming. A win always put everyone in a good mood.

“No, I can’t.”

“Why?”

“Half my home town came to watch today,” Robert said. “Can’t walk out on them. My little sister and my brother are here, so…”

“Ah, I get it,” Chris said. He’d heard enough about Andy to understand the complexities of that relationship. “We’re going to party it up in Berlin though, right?”

“We haven’t won yet!”

“Yeah, but your leg seems in good shape,” Chris said. “We will.” Robert rolled his eyes, picking up his phone to see a few messages from Vic and Aaron.

“Are you…?” Chris started. “Is this girl you‘re seeing, is it serious?”

“Why?” Robert asked.

“Well, Louise mentions things, and you don’t seem like you want to go out with the team as much as you used to.”

“I don’t know if it‘s serious,” Robert said honestly. “I really like… her.” Robert managed to cover up his hesitation well, and Chris didn’t seem to notice.

“I hope it goes well for you,” Chris said. “Just don’t get all boring and married, right?”

“Like you, you mean?” Robert said good naturedly.

“Yeah.” Chris winked and Robert laughed. He picked up his phone and called Aaron, leaving the changing room with a wave to Chris.

“Hey,” Aaron said as Robert called him.

“Hi. Are you on your own?” Robert said quickly.

“Yeah, for the minute,” Aaron said. “The others have gone to get some food.”

“And you haven’t?” Robert asked.

“Had a sneaky suspicion someone might call me after the match,” Aaron teased. “How are you?”

“Good, whereabouts are you?” Robert spoke quickly.

“At the bar where you left me.” 

“Right,” Robert said, trying to think quickly. “You see the fire exit to your right, below a big advertising banner?”

“Er… yeah,” Aaron said after a pause.

“Go through it.”

“Hang on.” He could almost hear Aaron swigging the end of his pint before doing as he was asked. “I’m there, now what?”

“Go down the corridor and take the second door on the left,” Robert said, going through his own doors, trying to find Aaron and a bit of privacy in this warren.

“Getting there,” Aaron said. “Yep.”

“At the end of that corridor, there’s some toilets. Meet me in there.”

“Wow, you really pick the special spots for your dates, don’t you?” Aaron said, making Robert laugh.

“I want you on your own,” Robert said, voice dark with lust. Aaron didn’t even have the time to hang up the phone when he walked through the door, because Robert was on him, kissing him deeply.

“Hi,” Aaron breathed, Robert smiling into his neck.

“You’re certainly a lucky charm,” Robert said, grinning from ear to ear.

“And you’re buzzing from it,” Aaron said. He was, almost vibrating with it, his hands seemingly everywhere all at once. “You looked seriously good too.”

“Mm?” Robert asked, eyes sparkling. “How good?” Aaron didn’t have the chance to even answer, Robert’s lips pressed against his. Robert’s hands wandered against the back of Aaron’s jeans, pulling him flush against his body. Robert could feel him everywhere, and he didn’t want to wait until they got home. Aaron felt the same, pushing his hands under Aaron’s shirt, scratching his nails lightly against his skin.

“I want you,” Robert whispered. Aaron could read what he was after, kissed him once more, lightly and Robert got on his knees, making a show of undoing Aaron’s belt.

“Get on with it,” Aaron grunted, fingers in Robert’s hair and holding him close.

Neither of them were prepared for when the door opened. The midfielder, Mateo Garcia stood there, eyebrows raised because there was no pretending “this isn’t what it looks like.” Aaron’s head had been thrown back and Robert was pressing his mouth against Aaron’s crotch. It was obvious, no matter what lie they told. Robert pushed himself off the floor and hurried after the player, following him back to the changing rooms.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it's safe to say I'm going to be distracted this week (can't think why) so I'm not sure when updates will be. Thank you for the comments and kudos, and for reading this! Enjoy!

“Mat, you can’t say anything,” Robert urged, following the player into the now thankfully empty dressing room. “Please, you can’t tell anyone.”

“None of my business,” he said, in accented English. Mateo usually kept himself to himself, and Roberts first instinct, to threaten and blackmail wouldn’t exactly work here. And the player couldn’t even look at him, wouldn't make eye contact.

“Mateo, please…”

“I don’t want any trouble,” he said, shaking his head at the floor. “Just leave me alone.”

“I’m not going to give you trouble,” Robert said. “My private life, is my own.”

“It’s hardly private if you’re kissing him in the toilets,” Mateo said. Robert grabbed him by the shirt, no idea what he was doing, or even thinking.

“Robert, don’t be stupid,” Aaron said, pulling them apart. “He’s only a kid.”

He was. Mateo was a child prodigy in Spain, and he was barely eighteen. Living the dream, and Robert suddenly came back to himself.

“Sorry, I…”

“Panicked,” Aaron finished off for him. “Leave it, all right?”

“Robert, I’m not going to…” Mateo held up his hands and left the changing room, Robert breathing heavily. 

“You don’t have to threaten him,” Aaron said.

“What if he talks?” Robert said, trying to fight off the descent into sheer panic.

“If he talks, then he does,” Aaron said with a shrug. “Either way you can’t do much about it, can you?”

“Aaron can you just not be so… so…”

“Rational?” Aaron suggested. Robert pinched the bridge of his nose, before closing his eyes and almost bowing forward under the pressure.

“Look… lets just go home.”

“Both of us?” Aaron said. He’d been expecting Robert to hold him at arms length after being interrupted like that.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Yeah, I’d like that.” Aaron nodded to the door, and Robert led the way out of the building.

* * *

Robert parked outside Home Farm, and he’d not said one word on the journey home. Aaron hated the atmosphere, tense and uncomfortable. “It’s not something to be ashamed of, you know.”

“I know,” Robert said. “I’m not ashamed of you. But I don’t need… the pressure that being the first out footballer would give me.” Aaron inclined his head, he understood that.

“If he’d have talked, your phone would be ringing by now,” Aaron said.

“Just because he hasn’t doesn’t mean he won’t,” Robert said fairly.

“Do you want me to sleep at home?”

“No,” Robert said. “If my careers over, I’d like to spend the last night of it with you.”

“Dramatic much?” Aaron said. “Your career won’t be over, Robert.”

“It’s a team sport,” Robert said. “If they don’t want to play with me…”

“They will,” Aaron said, grabbing his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault, it was mine," Robert said. "I wanted you."

“I can go home, I don’t have to be here.”

“Stay,” Robert said softly, kissing him. Aaron agreed.

* * *

Robert woke early, heart racing as he fumbled with his phone, checking the news. Nothing about him. He let himself calm down as he started to believe that maybe Mateo wouldn’t say anything. After checking several news websites, he put his phone down. Aaron was sleeping and Robert very gently ran his fingers through his curl soft hair. He kept the touch light, he didn’t want to disturb him, and Aaron’s lips twitched a little, so Robert dropped his hand. Aaron slipped back into a deep sleep and Robert closed his eyes, joining him.

The next time Robert woke, it was near lunch. He checked again, but there was no news about him, and he didn’t have any calls from his manager either. Which meant maybe Mateo could keep his word. Robert kissed Aaron’s bare shoulder and got up, slipping Aaron's grey hoodie on. It felt soft and carried Aaron’s scent as he went downstairs and started making a coffee. He’d just about started to feel the caffeine hit, when there was a knock on his door.

Opening it, it wasn’t that much of a surprise to see Mateo there. “What do you want?” Robert asked dully, letting him into the kitchen.

“To talk?”

“About what?” Robert asked. “Look, I don’t want you to say anything to anyone, but I know I can’t stop you.” Maybe it was lying with Aaron all night and for most of the morning, but he felt calmer now. Maybe it was the fact he was in his own house instead of the football stadium, but he felt more… in control of himself maybe.

“Yesterday…”

“You know what you saw,” Robert said, clutching his coffee cup. Mateo looked incredibly uncomfortable, and Robert’s heart sank. If he didn’t, or refused to play with him as a team, then Robert might as well throw the towel in before it ever became public knowledge. If the team didn't want to play with him.

“How do you get away with it?” Mateo asked quietly. Robert looked at him, and it all clicked into place as he shifted under Robert's gaze. Mateo wasn’t uncomfortable because he walked in on Robert with Aaron like that. He was uncomfortable because it was too similar to what he himself was going through.

“Oh.” That felt completely inadequate, but Robert didn’t know what else to say.

“You must have been keeping it quiet for years,” Mateo continued, sitting down. “And…”

“I haven’t,” Robert said. “I’ve not been seeing Aaron all that long,” Robert added. “And I don’t normally do that in public either.”

“I’ve got to go,” Aaron said, coming downstairs. “Mums nagging me about Sunday lunch and it’s just easier if… Oh. Hi.” Aaron added, seeing the young player sitting down. “Is there a problem?”

“No,” Robert said. “Go to your mum’s, it’s fine.” Something in Robert’s face must have assured him, because Aaron nodded, gave Robert a brief kiss on his cheek, nodded at the footballer in passing and left.

“Mat, I’m not who you go to for advice,” Robert said.

“You seem to be managing okay.”

“Yeah, right now I am,” Robert said. “Ask me a month ago, and I wasn’t managing at all.”

“Then how…?”

“Have you got someone?” Robert asked bluntly. Mateo shook his head. “Then don’t worry. Honestly, no one will be looking at you, apart from what you can do on the pitch.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I’m not stupid, I know I can’t keep Aaron quiet forever, not with this job, but… quiet for now. I’ll take that.”

“Thanks,” Mateo said. “I won’t say anything about you.”

“I appreciate that,” Robert said. “Want a coffee?”

“No,” Mateo said. “Thanks though.” Robert forced a smile as the young player left his house with a brief goodbye. That was a development he hadn’t expected.

* * *

Now that the fear of being outed had passed, Robert managed to settle down into himself. During the week, he and Aaron were having a drink in the Woolpack. It was a warm evening, possibly the last good summer night of the year, and everyone seemed to be out making the most of it. The pub was packed, the outside picnic tables filled with people laughing and drinking.

“You had a good match at the weekend,” Andy said, being friendly as he came to sit next to Aaron. Robert nodded. “Why don’t you play me in a friendly kick about?” Andy pushed. “Could do with beating you again, it‘s been a while.”

“No thanks,” Robert said. He wasn’t stupid, he’d practised football with Andy growing up, he knew Andy was good.

“What, afraid of being beaten?” Adam chipped in with a broad grin.

“Yes,” Robert said seriously. “I’m not that old, I remember being a teenager and I know Andy’s can play.”

“Ruin the street cred, would it?” Pete teased.

“Why’re you all ganging up on me?” Robert asked everyone at large, ignoring Aaron smiling into his pint.

“You’re the one who scored a hatrick,” Pete said. “We’re not used to having a premier league footballer here.”

“Careful,” Aaron said. “His ego’s big enough.”

“Thank you very much!” Robert snapped, looking like he‘d been betrayed by Aaron.

“So how many of us could you play?” Adam pushed. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe his competitive nature, but Robert took the bait.

“A few.”

“Five of us?” David asked, having slid past the conversation.

“No!” Robert said to general hilarity fuelled by beer. “I can’t play five of you!”

“How many of us would you play, then?” Adam asked easily.

“Three,” Robert said after a moments consideration. “If I can pick who.”

“Unfair advantage, that,” Aaron said, eyes sparkling.

“Yeah,” Andy said, chipping in. “Why do you get to pick?”

“One against three is hardly fair, anyway” Robert said. “So… I’ll play against Adam, Aaron and…” he studied Pete and David before deciding. “Pete.”

“Great,” Pete said, chucking Robert a football that seemed to have been produced from nowhere. “Come on then.” They all started to make their way up to the green near the cricket pavillion, give them all some space while Robert wondered what he’d got himself into.

“Why did you pick us to play?” Adam said.

“Vic’s told me you’re terrible,” Robert said. “Aaron’s short, and Pete looks like he might be slower than David. And there’s no way I’m going against Andy, I’m not drunk enough. Are we up for this or not?”

On the way up to the cricket pitch, Aaron caught up to Robert. “I’m short, am I?” he asked, eyes flashing dangerously.

“Yeah,” Robert said, completely without shame. Then he grabbed his arm to stop him walking and said lowly “what was I supposed to say, I’m picking Aaron because I want to wear his thighs out so I’m the one riding him tonight?” Aaron gulped and Robert laughed under his breath. “Thought not,” he said in a normal voice.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Aaron said, normal voice as the others caught up to the green.

“I’m counting on it,” Robert said, before turning his attention to the game.

* * *

They were drawing 3-3, Robert really being put through his paces until Pete said he’d had enough and needed to get home. Andy didn’t swap in, he’d been watching but wanted to get home to Katie. Which left Aaron, Adam and Robert having a bit of fun, Vic watching from the sidelines. It turned into more laughter and drink than an actual game, and dusk was approaching by the time Adam and Vic gave in and went home. Robert suddenly got a spark of interest on his face, and Aaron knew he was going to enjoy being alone with him right now.

Darkness had almost fully fallen now, but both men’s eyes had adjusted and they were still laughing in between swigs of beer. Aaron had the ball and was about to kick it towards the marked out goal when Robert tackled him, his hands around Aaron’s waist to stop him from moving.

“Hey!” Aaron shouted. “You can’t physically hold me!” With Robert’s restraining hands, Aaron lost his balance and toppled over into the damp dew covered grass.

“Watch me,” Robert said, lying on top of him without waiting a second, football now long forgotten. Aaron didn’t try to move, body going completely pliant with trust as Robert kissed him, soft and almost tender. Their lips brushed each other often in parting, tiny little feather light touches that felt so intimate and personal.

“I’m in love with you.” Robert hadn’t willed the words, but now they were out and Aaron started breathing really heavily, as if scrambling for words, eyes darting in panic. Robert could feel the tension in him. “I…” Robert spluttered. He tried to get off Aaron, but Aaron wouldn’t let him move, his hands like an iron vice around Robert's upper body.

“Don’t run away,” Aaron said desperately. “Please.” Robert stopped fighting, but he felt so incredibly vulnerable, and the way Aaron seemed to be looking into his very soul wasn’t helping. “I’m not ready to say that yet,” Aaron said. “And I don’t want to lie either. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Robert said. “Just wanted to say it.”

“I…” Aaron swallowed as Robert’s hand caressed his face. He felt vulnerable and a little stupid and kissed Aaron to try and forget it. It almost worked, and then after a few moments he sunk into beautiful thrilling kisses, Aaron’s body wrapped all around him. Aaron might not feel the same, but Robert knew he was gone for this man. Well and truly gone.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with this story, and what an on screen week this was! Hope you enjoy this chapter... Oh, and I made a mistake earlier in this story, I said it was going to be an England/Germany friendly, I've now made it a world cup qualifier instead. I've gone back and corrected it so the story still reads properly.

They’d both drunk too much to drive, which meant they spent the night at Aaron’s, both laughing and shushing each other while they had sex, desperately trying not to let the whole house know what they were up to. Or more specifically, _who_ Aaron had invited back home with him. It was a lost cause really, but they had fun trying to be quiet.

Robert had set an alarm on his phone, and it went off way to early. Aaron didn’t even twitch as Robert slowly got dressed. His body was sore after a very enjoyable night, and he’d loved every second of it.

“Aaron?”

“Mm?”

“I’ve got to go,” Robert said, a hand casually resting in Aaron’s hair.

“Nah, ‘s early.” Aaron shuffled, trying to get more comfortable.

“I’ve got that international match, remember? Flight…”

“Oh, yeah. Fine. See you then.” Aaron curled up in the duvet and Robert smiled to himself, picking his jacket up. Aaron didn’t tend to function well when he was half asleep. He’d text him later. He didn’t strictly have to be gone this early, but he’d rather not bump into Chas or Diane. It would give him awkward questions he wouldn’t be able to think of answers to. He left the pub, closing the door quietly, and grinning to himself as he got into his car. He needed to pick up his suitcase and passport. He was happy, he realised. Being with Aaron made him happy. It had been confusing and scary as hell to start off with, especially as he’d never really thought about men as an option for him to be attracted to. And Robert was sure it would get frightening again, if and when he came out. With his career… he had no idea how that would go.

And there was the slight niggle at the back of his mind. He’d told Aaron he loved him. Which hadn’t been planned, but he had. It’d slipped out. And Aaron hadn’t said it back. It bothered him, he was human, of course it bothered him. But he knew Aaron felt something for him, he could feel it, see it on Aaron’s face. And certainly after last nights activities… Maybe he just had to be a little bit more patient.

Robert shut his brain off of Aaron. He needed to focus on this match, he needed to help England win.

* * *

 

Aaron emerged a couple of hours later, the bed sheets still smelling like Robert and a smile on his face. He didn’t expect to bump into Paddy on the sofa though. “Have you slept here?” Aaron asked while making himself a cup of tea.

“Yeah, I…”

“Had a fight with Rhona?” Aaron asked shrewdly. 

“No!” Paddy said. “Or not a fight exactly, just a… disagreement.”

“All right,” Aaron said, humouring him and rolling his eyes.

“How was your night then?” Paddy asked, and Aaron looked at him sharply.

“You heard?”

“You weren’t quiet.” Aaron rolled his eyes as he tried not to flush. “How’s it going? And who is it?”

“Good,” Aaron said. “And nobody.”

“Why aren’t you telling anyone who it is you’re seeing?” Paddy asked. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing,” Aaron said. “Honestly, there is nothing wrong with him. But I’m kinda… his first guy, so we’re just…” Aaron shrugged.

“Is he in denial?” Paddy asked.

“No,” Aaron said. “No, definitely not. I don’t get that impression from him at all. He told me…” Aaron hesitated. “Last night he told me he loved me.”

“Oh!” Paddy said. “And… you…”

“Said nothing,” Aaron said. “I wasn’t expecting it and… I just didn’t know what to say.”

“Didn’t put him off though,” Paddy observed.

“I can’t…” Aaron sighed and sat down, looking at his mug of tea. “I don’t know why I didn’t say it back.”

“Maybe it’s too soon for you,” Paddy said. “That’s okay.”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said, still looking at the surface of his tea. “I really care about him, but… he’s a complicated man.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” Paddy asked quietly. “Married?”

“No,” Aaron said. “But… complicated.”

“Without you telling me more, I can’t give you advice,” Paddy said.

“You know what, it’s fine,” Aaron said. “I’m happy with him, I’ll figure it out.”

“When are you next seeing him?”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said.

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“No, he’s er… away for a few days. For work, it’s not like that.” Paddy didn’t look convinced. “I’ve got to get to the garage,” Aaron said, effectively ending the conversation.

* * *

Vic and Adam were watching the football match, and Aaron had sort of invited himself along. He could excuse his interest because it was an England match. He’d obviously want England to win, it wouldn’t be anything to do with Robert. Of course not.

The match was a tense one. Robert hadn’t been in the starting line up, but he came on in the second half. Robert had told him it was usually to inject a little bit more energy into the team. It was still 0-0, and Aaron was starting to feel anxious. Robert would want to win this one, to confirm their world cup qualification. If they drew or lost, it would depend on two further matches, and a tense stressed Robert? Aaron would prefer to avoid that option if he could. He was still enjoying his time with Robert far too much for real life to get in the way.

It was in the 75th minute that the England fans roared in disapproval. Robert had been given a red card.

“What the hell?” Adam asked, frowning at the TV. “Why?!”

Aaron had no idea. The video replay showed the German opposite player kicking Robert’s calf, and Robert had fallen down, taking the German with him. And Robert had been blamed. On the replay it really wasn’t Robert’s fault, but the referee clearly didn’t agree.

“Oh, now that’s spectacularly unfair!” Vic shouted at the telly. The camera zoomed in on Robert’s face as he left the pitch and he was livid. He wasn’t shouting or raging, but Aaron could see his clenched jaw, and the look in his eyes. He was angry. So was Aaron. The rage from the England fans was immense as well and Aaron wanted to get up and leave Vic’s. But then that might make it a little obvious what he was doing and that he was effected by Robert being sent off.

England scored five minutes later, but the atmosphere in the arena was flat. Fans were still angry at Robert Sugden’s completely unfair sending off, and even the commentators were struggling to stay impartial. Aaron had lost heart watching the match, and he received a text from Robert. “Can I call you?”

“I’ve got to go,” Aaron said, looking at his phone.

“Late night booty call?” Vic asked. Aaron frowned at the description as Adam laughed.

“Something like that.” Aaron said goodbye, grabbed his hoodie and left Vic’s, calling Robert at the same time.

“Hi,” Aaron said.

“Did that look as unfair as it felt?” Robert asked, angry.

“Yeah, it did,” Aaron said. “I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong!” Robert snapped.

“No, you didn’t,” Aaron agreed. “Are you okay?”

“No!”

“I mean… that guy kicked your leg. Are you physically okay?”

“Oh,” Robert said. “Yeah. He just caught my leg at a weird angle and I went down. I’m fine.”

“I’m glad,” Aaron said. “God, I wish I could see you tonight.”

“Yeah, so do I,” Robert said. “Berlin might be wonderful, but it doesn’t have your attractions.”

“Oh, and what are they?” Aaron teased.

“God, even hearing your voice has put me in a better mood,” Robert said.

“Is the match still going on?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Watching it from the dressing room. Just got extra time to go.”

Aaron stayed on the phone, listening to Robert watching the match, just being there on the other end of the phone line. He could hear Robert’s breathing and it was such a simple connection.

“I’m going to have to go when the match is…”

“I know,” Aaron said.

“Aaron, thanks,” Robert said.

“For what?”

“Listening to me,” Robert said.

“Well, I thought I could just hang up, but…” Robert let out a tiny laugh.

“That’s it, we won,” Robert said. “I’ve got to go.”

“Bye Robert.”

“Bye.” Aaron disconnected the call and went back home. Robert was right, it did feel better to hear his voice.

* * *

“Come on, Robert, come out with us,” Chris said. “We won.”

 _“You_ won,” Robert grumbled. “I was sent off for being tackled to the ground.”

“But we won,” Chris repeated. “We’re a team, a complaint has gone in to the FA. You’ll be fine. And a drink could help.” Robert looked at Chris considering. Maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea.

“All right,” Robert said. “Yeah, forgetting tonight might be a good idea.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this took me a while, and I'm sorry for the wait! This is a chapter I'm nervous about, so I hope you enjoy it!

 

 

Louise was not happy, picking Robert up from the airport. He could have got a taxi back to Emmerdale, but it was clear Louise wanted to rant to him, and he was tired enough to let her. “I’ve still got a banging headache, so if you want ti give me a lecture…”

“Yeah, I do,” Louise said smiling sweetly. “Have you moved to hung over, or are you still drunk?”

“Definitely hung over,” Robert said, closing his eyes and leaning his head on the window. But only for a few seconds, because the vibrations from the car really weren’t helping his headache.

“You want to explain last night?”

“Nope,” Robert said easily. “I’m still seriously pissed off about that red card. Completely undeserved. I needed a drink or two to forget about it.”

“Uhuh,” Louise said doubtfully. “And how do you explain the lap dancing club?”

“Not my idea,” Robert said, sighing as his back twitched. Really, going out for too many drinks last night had been a very bad decision. “Anyway, how do you know about that?”

“The wonders of the internet,” Louise said. “And don’t worry, I’ll be making Chris pay for it too.”

“What do you mean, _too_?” Robert asked, stung. “I don’t owe you anything.”

“Bet Aaron’s not going to be pleased,” Louise said.

“I don’t think Aaron frequents the gossip websites the way you do,” Robert said, earning a slap on the arm. “I’m feeling delicate, Lou.”

“All self inflicted,” Louise said with no sympathy.

“How are you?” Robert asked, sensing her mood probably had little to do with him.

“Okay,” Louise said.

“Where is Chris?” Robert pushed.

“Out with his mum,” Louise said. “It’s her birthday, he’s treating her to a shopping trip.”

“Right.”

“His head’s apparently not as bad as yours.”

“Whisky and wine is a bad combination,” Robert said. “I’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

“I’m not really mad,” she said after a moments silence. “Just… I want to kill Chris.”

“He wasn’t doing anything, Lou,” Robert said. “Sod my own reputation, you know I’d tell you?”

“Yeah?” she asked quietly.

“I might need a transfer to a different team,” Robert said, making her laugh. “But of course I would.”

“Okay,” she said. And from that point on, she was in a much more friendly mood on the drive home.

“I might need a transfer anyway,” Robert said. “If they find out about me and Aaron and don’t want to play with me anymore.”

“They can’t kick you out,” Louise said.

“No, but if the other guys stop passing me the ball on the pitch? Can’t quite recover from that.”

“It’s not going to be that bad,” Louise said. “Some of these guys have known you years. I think your fear is worse than the reality.”

“If I’m still with Aaron at Christmas, I’m going to tell Vic,” Robert said. He’d decided it on the trip away. “My sister,” he added at her blank look.

“Oh, yeah, I remember you mentioning her,” Louise said. “You wouldn’t have to be with Aaron to tell her about you though. Being bisexual isn’t dependent on Aaron.”

“Why push it?” Robert asked with a shrug. Louise said nothing until she turned into Home Farm’s driveway.

They saw Aaron’s car outside Home Farm and Robert sighed, sobering up quickly. “Good luck with that one,” Louise said.

“Great,” Robert said darkly. “Thanks for the lift.”

“No problem.” Robert opened the door. “Hey. Call me if you need me, all right? I know Aaron’s important to you.”

“Thanks,” Robert added sincerely. Louise looked around. “I’ll be in the village for a coffee,” she decided. “If you… can’t talk Aaron round.”

“Thank you,” Robert said. He wheeled his suitcase through the door, already unlocked as he had given Aaron a spare, just in case, and it wasn’t a surprise to see Aaron in the kitchen, pacing.

“Hi,” Robert said.

“God, you look terrible,” Aaron said before he could stop himself. “Are you okay?”

“I will be,” Robert said. “Head ache though.”

“You deserve it,” Aaron said.

“Maybe,” Robert said. He sat down and waited for what he knew was coming. He really needed coffee, but even in his hungover state, he knew suggesting it was a bad idea. Especially with Aaron’s face like thunder.

“Look, I’m not going to mess around, I saw those pictures from last night. I saw you with… those girls.”

“The team wanted to go,” Robert said. “I couldn’t say no, without a good reason.” Aaron scoffed. “They don’t even consider a wedding ring a good reason, Aaron. I don’t want to upset them, I need them on my side. I especially need them on my side, if me and you comes out, because I have no idea if they’re even going to want to play with me.”

“That’s not an excuse,” Aaron said, shaking his head.

“No,” Robert said.

“And even if it was… I needed you to tell me. I don’t need to find out by my mum and Diane gossiping about what you got up to last night over breakfast.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Yeah, that’s fair. Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

“Clearly.” Aaron looked so disappointed in him that it made him feel even worse. It had been a stupid decision, the kind he’d have made when he was single. Which was most of his adult life, he just hadn’t remembered that Aaron was both waiting at home for him, and wasn’t used to the fact that that kind of thing went on.

“I’m sorry,” Robert said.

“What for?” Aaron asked, his voice gruff and harsh. “Going to a lap dancing club, or not telling me?”

“Both,” Robert said.

“Miss it, did you?” Aaron asked, trying to poke at an open wound. “Being straight and normal?”

“Aaron, I don’t have it in me to fight. You fight me, you’ll win.” Robert sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. “But now that you mention it, no. I didn’t miss it. I didn’t even want to be there, but it would have looked odd if I hadn’t gone. Especially after my bad match.”

“Robert, I can’t,” Aaron said. “I can’t deal with you seeing naked women… I just can’t. I… I’m not going to accept it.”

“Aaron, I didn’t do anything,” Robert said, suddenly realising that Aaron was taking this seriously. Very seriously. Was… Aaron ending it? “Aaron, please…” Robert said, reaching out a hand to him, but Aaron shrugged him off. He didn’t want Robert to touch him. Oh God, he was here to end things. No, this couldn’t be happening, Robert couldn’t lose him over one stupid night.

“No,” Aaron said. “You didn’t even text me to let me know what was going on. Or that you’d caught your plane back. Nothing. Come on, Robert, what’ve I done to deserve that?”

“Then why did you even come here?” Robert asked, unable to tear his eyes away from Aaron‘s face. Even though Aaron was refusing to look at him. “Couldn’t breaking my heart wait until I was sober?”

“I just needed to see you,” Aaron said. “See you around Robert.” Aaron moved to the door, but Robert grabbed his arm to stop him.

“Please, you can’t leave,” Robert said. “This, us, it can’t be over.”

“Robert, you’ve not even told anyone about us,” Aaron said and Robert could feel his face falling. “I know why,” Aaron said, backtracking. “And I know it’s difficult for you…”

“What, am I not gay enough for you?” Robert asked, now sliding into bitterness.

“I meant,” Aaron said. “Difficult with your career. And I’m not about to force anyone to come out either. Which… it doesn’t even matter now.” Aaron shrugged and Robert could almost see his walls going up.

“Please don’t leave,” Robert said. “We need to talk about this. I don’t want it over, I need…”

“Robert, get some sleep, sober up. But I’m honestly not sure if… this is what I want.” Aaron kissed his cheek, lingeringly but then he held out Robert’s key, and Robert’s heart sank through the floor.

“Bye.” Aaron turned and left, leaving Robert staring at the door until he heard the car engine rev, and then Aaron drive away. And he was alone.

* * *

 

“Coffee please Bob,” Aaron said tiredly.

“Oh, bad day?” Bob asked brightly which Aaron completely ignored, waiting for his coffee. Had he actually broken up with Robert? Yeah, seemed like it. He’d hated waking up to those kind of pictures over the gossip websites. He hadn’t been looking, had been a little bit concerned with no text from Robert overnight, but nothing more. And then Chas was clicking away on her phone, chatting with Diane. And then curiosity had got the better of him, and he had looked, hating what he saw. No one knew he was with Robert, but… God, the jealousy that had filled him… and he hated it. He hated being made to feel jealous, and he hated that he hadn’t expected this kind of thing with Robert, the trust he'd had in Robert, it had gone. 

Robert was premiership footballer, who before him had spent a long time being single, and enjoying that kind of life. It just hadn’t occurred to Aaron that he’d continue, going out clubbing to try and pick someone up for a quick shag in the small hours of the morning. And it hurt. That’s what surprised Aaron, how much the idea of Robert with someone else truly hurt him. Robert had said he loved him, only a few days ago. Had that really happened? And now? Aaron felt hurt, betrayed, and a little like an idiot for trusting Robert Sugden in the first place.

“Hi!” Aaron looked to see Louise smiling at him brightly. “Everything… all right?”

“I’m not in the mood,” Aaron said shortly, grabbing his coffee cup.

“But…”

“I mean it,” Aaron cut her off. He snapped something about paying Bob later and left the café. He wanted to be on his own, to lick his wounds in peace.


	19. Chapter 19

Aaron sat in the back room, a beer bottle in his hand as he thought over Robert. He was angry, he felt he had a right to be. But he hadn’t exactly gone up to Home Farm with the intention of ending it with Robert. He hadn’t really thought what he would do, he just wanted to see him. Those photos… he’d hated them. Being entirely fair, he hadn’t been with any of the girls, it was definitely more of a lads party atmosphere, but… just because the photos didn’t show it, that didn’t mean it hadn’t happened. Right? Aaron didn’t know. He sighed heavily. He didn’t want to lose Robert. That was the truth of it. He really didn’t, he just didn’t know if he could cope with the stuff that came with Robert’s fame and career. He didn’t know.

“Want a chat?”

Aaron turned around to see Paddy watching him, and wondered how long he’d been stood there watching him thinking about Robert. “No thanks.”

“Are you having… problems?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Well… yeah, kinda. But I’ll figure it out. I just want a drink.” Paddy knew enough when to let it drop.

* * *

Robert slept. He didn’t think about it too much, he was too hurt, tired and drunk, so he just put Aaron to the back of his mind until he’d got a few hours sleep and a shower.

But after that, when he was clean and (slightly) well rested, he thought about Aaron. He couldn’t really believe that had happened. He loved Aaron, he did. And he’d never actually been dumped before either. Not in his adult life anyway. He’d focused exclusively on football after Katie… and then he started getting a bit of a name for himself and… he didn’t do relationships. He was always the one who left. So he felt like he was almost floating, without an anchor. To lose Aaron... God, he couldn't even realistically contemplate it.

He got his phone and opened a text to Aaron. But then he… just stared at the empty message, wondering what he could possibly say in a text. Instead he called Aaron. And he didn’t answer.

“You stupid idiot!” Robert shouted to himself. Instead he called Louise.

“Yeah?”

“I think I’ve really blown it,” Robert said quickly. “I think I’ve gone and really lost him.”

“Robert, give him a few days to calm down,” Louise said, trying to keep Robert from having a meltdown.

“No, he won’t calm down,” Robert said. “Aaron doesn’t ever do something he doesn’t mean. He doesn’t go back on his word. He’s really straight talking, and he meant it.”

“Robert, you’re babbling,” Louise said. “Do you need me to come over?”

“Er… no,” Robert said. “I can cope on my own, I’ve been doing it for long enough. I just…”

“Do you love him?” Louise asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said slowly. “Yeah, I do. More than some stupid mistake.”

“Then give him some time,” Louise said. 

“But he doesn’t love me,” Robert said. “I told him, and… I didn’t get anything from him. He just… Maybe this is a waste of time.”

“Look, I don’t know Aaron. But in my experience men shout first and think later,” Louise said. “Yeah, he’s angry right now but he might calm down.

“You’ve got a flattering opinion of men,” Robert said sarcastically.

“Experience,” Louise said. “I don’t know how two men ever get together in the first place with how shit their communication always is.”

“This isn’t making me feel better,” Robert said.

“Why don’t you talk to him?” Louise said. “Or I could,” she suggested, brightening up. “I’d like to give him a piece of my mind for hurting you.”

“Go on, then,” Robert said, surprising both of them. “Well, he’s not answering my calls, he’s broken up with me, it’s not like you can make it worse.”

“I’ll drive over,” Louise said, sounding way too enthusiastic about this. Robert didn’t think about it too deeply. He thanked her, and then ended the call, before wallowing in his own misery.

* * *

 

Chas was behind the bar when a pretty blonde she didn’t recognise walked in. “Hi,” she said, smiling at her. “Is Aaron around? I’d like a word.”

“Who’s asking?” Chas said.

“A friend.”

“I’m his mother,” Chas said sharply.

“And Aaron’s an adult,” Louise countered with a smile. “Is he here or not?”

“Go on through,” Chas said, though she wasn’t happy. She led her through to the back, Aaron with his feet up on the table, watching the telly. He turned around to see both women, Chas watching with curiosity.

“Hi.”

“Oh, I can guess what you want,” Aaron said, recognising Louise. “It’s fine mum.”

“Okay,” she said, though Aaron could tell Chas wasn’t happy as she left them alone.

“She’s a pitbull,” Louise said, looking at the closed door.

“She worries,” Aaron said. “I’ve given her enough reason to in the past. Now, give me the Robert shaped lecture, and go.”

“Just…” Louise sat opposite him, looking far too elegant and put together. “Robert’s hurting.”

“I didn’t make him do that,” Aaron said.

“He has to keep up appearances,” Louise said. “You know that. Do I like that Chris was there? No. Of course I don’t, but I’m not stupid, he needs to get along with the team.”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said. “I think it might be too much. I’m not cut out for that scene. I’m not… Lets face it, I’m not the kind of person Robert Sugden’s expected to have hanging off his arm, am I?” Aaron shrugged. “It’s just going to be easier to cut and run now before it gets more complicated.”

“Aaron, that stuff’s not real,” Louise said. Aaron didn’t reply, biting his lip. “He bothered you, didn’t he? When he told you he loved you.” Aaron shifted uncomfortably and Louise knew she’d touched a nerve. “Why?”

“Because nothing good comes from that,” Aaron said. “It always ends badly.”

“So, you’re just… pre-empting it?” Louise asked in disbelief. “Aaron, Robert deserves more. And you could let yourself be happy, you know.”

“I told him,” Aaron said. “I told him when we got together that I wouldn’t put up with it. After he kissed me for the first time, he went out and slept with some random woman because he was trying to convince himself he was straight. Now I live with that, because we weren’t together. but him carrying on like… It’s too complicated.”

“Robert really loves you,” Louise said. “Please, just talk to him. Then I won’t interfere again.”

“Robert could have talked to me himself,” Aaron grumbled.

“He’s tried but you’re not answering your phone,” Louise said. “Give him a chance. For yourself as well as him. And I’ll see myself out.”

“Hey?” Aaron said as she was at the door. “I’m glad he’s got a friend like you.” Louise smiled, and then left, giving Aaron a lot to think about.

* * *

Aaron did go up to Home Farm. He had thought about everything Louise had said, and thought about his own issues and problems and decided he needed to talk to Robert. He knocked on the door and Robert answered looking better than he should when just this morning he’d flown in from Germany, hung over. He wore a white button up shirt, loose at the neck and jeans that emphasised him nicely. It was unfair that he looked this good after this morning. Aaron also noticed the glass of whisky.

“It’s my first drink,” Robert said, letting him into the house and raising the glass. “What do you want?”

“Louise had a word with me,” Aaron said. “I know I need to talk to you.”

“Aaron, just… I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to lose my job either. And bonding with the team… it comes with it. I’m sorry for what I did, I shouldn’t have gone to that club. I was more interested in drowning my sorrows about that red card.”

“Yeah, I heard about that. On the news, they said the ref had been suspended.”

“Yes,” Robert said. “Good,” he added harshly. “Completely undeserved.”

“Are we going to talk about it?” Aaron asked into the slightly uncomfortable silence.

“Aaron, if you’d been at a stag party or something with naked men, I wouldn’t be breaking up with you.” Aaron frowned at that mental image, and Robert shook his head. “You know what I mean. It’s just… it was a club I went to that I shouldn’t have. Because I should have thought of you, but I didn’t and I’m sorry. I’m new at this, you know? Relationships, I don’t… this is new to me. Having someone who matters in my life.”

“I don’t like thinking of you touching someone else,” Aaron said. “I don’t like you looking either, but…” Aaron bit his bottom lip hard. “I’m not naïve, I can guess what it’s like with your footballing mates. And I can live with that. But you touch someone else, and no. It‘s too much for me.”

“I don’t want to touch anyone else.” Robert frowned. “Is this because I’m bi, or because it’s me?”

“Maybe both?” Aaron said, and Robert looked at the ground, unhappy. “I’m trying to be honest, Robert. I know what things are like, I know you’d have an easier life if you picked any woman to be with. I can’t… I don’t get why you’d stick with me.”

Robert put a hand to Aaron’s face, fingers curling around his cheek gently, now that he felt fairly sure Aaron wouldn’t push him off. “You know why.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Aaron said. “I do know, but…” He sighed. “Robert, everyone I’ve ever loved has hurt me. Everyone. Love scares the hell out of me. And when I saw those pictures…”

“Aaron…”

“When I saw them,” he continued. “I thought… here we go again. Someone I let in… who’s just going to hurt me all over again.”

“I’m not going to intentionally hurt you,” Robert said.

“No one ever does it on purpose,” Aaron said. “Still hurts. My mum, my dad, even Paddy kicked me out though we’re all right now. Jackson went and died on me. I don’t want to lose you Robert, I really don’t.”

“Then don’t chuck me away!” Robert said lightly. Aaron smiled, eyes softening and Robert laughed lightly.

“I get jealous Rob,” Aaron said. “I can’t help it.”

“I’m not looking anywhere else,” Robert said.

“I love you,” Aaron said. Robert looked into his eyes, and knew that was a big deal for Aaron to say. Robert kissed him very softly. He took Aaron’s hand and moved towards the stairs.

“I want to take you to bed,” Robert said, voice already turning dark with lust.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Aaron grinned in a way that made him look miles younger and Robert pulled him up the stairs, both of them laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that split lasted long! I'm no good at keeping them apart, but I needed them both to be pushed, to work for this relationship! Hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading this far! (I think the next thing is it is going to come out...)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to flick forward a few weeks on the time line. Thank you so much for your continued support! Warning for casual homophobia in this chapter.

“There we go,” Chris said, delivering a tray of drinks to the table, to a general cheer from the team. Aaron was sat in the corner, next to Adam. He had no idea how Robert had persuaded him to come out with the team after Saturday’s match. Well, actually he knew exactly how, they’d been in bed and he'd been distracted by Robert's mouth and… Aaron had said he’d only come if Adam came, almost like back up in case Robert got occupied with his team mates.

Aaron knew why Robert had suggested it. They were tentatively talking about the future, if and when everyone found out about the pair of them. And Robert had made a point that it may be a little easier if the team knew Aaron beforehand and realised that he wasn’t a gold digger, or after a quick shot to fame. Aaron understood the logic, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed hanging out in a nightclub on a Saturday night, watching Robert talking to all his friends that Aaron didn’t know. That’s why Aaron had insisted taking Adam with him.

“Oh, don’t mind me,” one of the players said, seeing a group of women at the bar. “I’ll just be…” He walked over to them and Robert rolled his eyes.

“Why don’t you get in on that?” one of the group asked Aaron, being friendly. Steven, he thought his name was.

“Er, no thanks, not my type,” Aaron said quickly.

“What, gorgeous?”

“I’m gay,” Aaron said briefly. He’d discussed it with Robert, and agreed that if it came up, Aaron wouldn’t hide. He didn’t like lying about his sexuality, if someone had a problem with it, it was their problem not his. There was a slight pause, until one of the reserves spoke up.

“Oh, well there’s a bunch of lads over there, if you fancy them instead,” he said easily, a murmur of laughter around the group.

“I’m good thanks,” Aaron said, smiling into his pint and the atmosphere went back to normal. Thankfully. And it was a good night.

* * *

At training on Monday, Robert felt happy and at ease. They were at the top of the table, the team were playing well, he was happy with Aaron, and life was good. He should have known it was too good to last. After training he was getting changed when Chris came over to him, jacket slung over his shoulder.

“Saturday was a good night,” he said easily. “That Adam’s a right laugh.”

“Yeah, I think he’s good for my sister,” Robert agreed. “What about Aaron?” Robert was fishing, but he needed to know. That’d been the whole point of the night anyway, from Robert’s perspective.

“He’s all right,” Chris said. There was something in the tone that Robert didn’t like.

“He’s a mate, he’s not that bad surely.”

“I just… I don’t hang out with that kind of bloke.”

Robert didn’t follow for a moment, and then it clicked into place. “You mean… gay,” Robert said, feeling cold.

“I’ve not got a problem with gay guys,” Chris said. “I just don’t like to spend my time with them.”

“Right,” Robert said quietly, feeling his carefully constructed life start to crack around the edges.

“Hey, if he’s your friend, that’s fine. I just… Not who I want to be around.”

“You can’t catch being gay,” Robert said, annoyed now.

“Lets just drop it, okay?” Chris said. “See you for training tomorrow.” Chris grabbed his kit bag, and left, leaving Robert feeling cold. If his best footballing friend could think that? He’d known Chris years, and never thought him bigoted. Maybe playing on with the team after going public with Aaron would be more difficult than he anticipated.

* * *

“Right, are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” Aaron asked. Robert had been pacing around his kitchen like a bear with a sore head all evening, even when he was supposed to be cooking them a meal.

“Nothing,” Robert said.

“Come on, I know you better than that,” Aaron said. He put his hands on Robert’s waist, making him look at him. “Talk to me, eh?”

“It’s Chris,” Robert said. “Today at training, he said…”

“He doesn’t like me,” Aaron finished for him when Robert showed no sign of continuing. Robert looked at him sharply. 

“How did you know that?”

“I’ve been out for long enough, I know how it feels when someone doesn’t like you because of it.” Aaron shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me. But it clearly bothers you.”

“I’ve played with him for years,” Robert said. “He’s a good friend and that he can think that… I just… it hurts.”

“It does stop hurting,” Aaron said quietly. “Eventually.”

“It’s going to make playing difficult.”

“Do you want to change your mind?” Aaron asked. “We don’t have to go public. If it’s going to make your life so much more difficult.”

Robert sighed. “No,” he said slowly. “I’m happy with you, and I don’t want to hide you.” Aaron smiled at him, eyes gone all soft. “But that doesn’t change the fact that… being public with you does frighten me a little bit.”

“It will be okay,” Aaron said. “In the end,” he conceded.

“I know. Hey, can we call Vic up for dinner tonight?” Robert's words were heavier than a meal implied, and Aaron got the point.

“You want to tell her?” Aaron asked, surprised.

“I want to tell someone I think will have… a good reaction.”

“Vic’ll be happy,” Aaron said. “You’re her big brother. And she’s been trying to set me up with Finn for a good six months anyway.”

“Oh, get that mental image of you and Finn out of my head,” Robert said with a shudder and Aaron laughed. “I’ll ask her up, she might be working, she might be busy.”

“Okay,” Aaron said. He pressed a lingering kiss to Robert’s lips and Robert relaxed into it, needing the touch.

* * *

 

As it turned out, Vic wasn’t busy. Adam had been roped in to helping on the farm, which meant she had a spare evening and was more than happy to come up. Robert mentioned Aaron was here, Vic knew they were friendly and she was all for Robert settling in and having more friends.

Robert poured her a glass of white wine and she sat at the table, Aaron propping up the kitchen counter with a beer. “Okay, so what do you want?” Vic asked. Robert looked at Aaron sharply. “Well, you’ve not invited me here just for dinner, so what is it? Spit it out.”

“Okay,” Robert said, sitting opposite her around the kitchen table

“Do you want me to leave?” Aaron asked, but Robert shook his head. He wanted Aaron with him for this, and he wouldn’t ever be able to explain why.

“Right, you’re worrying me now,” Vic said, looking at her brother with wide eyes. “What is it?”

“It’s not a problem,” Robert said, seeing her mind running through about a dozen terrible possibilities. “I’ve met someone.”

“Oh!” Vic squealed. “Oh, Robert, that’s great! I’m so happy for you.” Robert smiled at her. “So when do I get to meet her?”

“That’s the thing,” Robert said. “It’s not a her.” Vic frowned. “I’m with Aaron.”

“I don’t understand,” Vic said, completely confused.

“I can’t make it simpler,” Robert said. “I’m with Aaron, that’s really it.”

“But… you’re not gay!” Vic said and Robert knew it was her surprise, but he flinched anyway.

“No, I’m not,” Robert said. “I’m bisexual.”

“But… oh, I’m sorry, I’m handling this all wrong!” Vic said, shaking her head. “Are you happy?”

“Yeah,” Robert said.

"I'm really pleased for you," Vic said. "Really."

"Thank you," Robert said, meaning it. “I guess Aaron’s all right.”

“Cheers,” Aaron said, making the three of them smile.

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you to say that,” Vic said. She moved and gave her brother a hug, Robert looking over her shoulder to see a smiling Aaron and Robert felt some of the tension ease off of him. He’d told Vic and she hadn’t reacted badly. She was smiling when Robert let her go, and her gaze slipped to Aaron.

“Have you told Adam?”

“No,” Aaron said. “We were keeping it quiet because of Robert’s career, but…”

“You can,” Robert said. “You can tell Adam if you want, right?” Aaron nodded briefly.

“Are you… going to come out?” Vic asked them both.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Yeah, I don’t like keeping Aaron secret.”

“Robert, that’s big,” Vic said. “It’s… not going to be easy.”

“I know,” Robert said. “But it’ll quieten down eventually. I’m not that interesting.”

“I’m proud of you,” Vic said, bringing a lump to Robert’s throat. “Now, how long have you two been together?”

“A few months,” Aaron said. “Before the football season really got going anyway.”

“And you kept it quiet all this time!” Vic snapped. “I’m your sister! And your friend!” she added towards Aaron.

“Look, shall we just have dinner?” Robert suggested. Vic took a drink of her wine and nodded.

* * *

 

Dinner went well. Vic seemed very alert and aware of the little touches between Aaron and Robert. A hand on a shoulder, a brush of fingers against Robert’s waist as they passed each other. Robert knew it was the newness of it all, that Vic wasn’t used to it, and he didn’t read more into it from that.

Once Vic had left, Robert let out the breath he’d been holding for what felt like all night. “Are you okay?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Yeah, actually, I am.”

“I’m proud of you for telling her,” Aaron said. “I really am.”

“I felt a bit shaky,” Robert said. “I don’t know why, but I did.” Aaron kissed him softly, letting it last, trying to put all his feeling into that kiss.

“I love you,” Aaron said. Robert nodded.

“One down, rest of the world to go."

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably my least favourite chapter so far, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Thank you for reading this far!

“Phil, I need to talk to you,” Robert said, poking his head around the managers office door.

“Okay,” Phil said, closing his folder as Robert came in and sat opposite him. “Is this more of a “I can’t play on Saturday” or “I’m running off to be a sheep farmer” conversation?”

Robert smiled. “Somewhere in the middle.” Robert looked at the grain of the desk instead of looking at Phil.

“Is it bad?” Phil asked, seeing his face. “Are you in trouble, do I need lawyers?”

“No, I’m not in trouble,” Robert said quickly, cutting that off immediately. “I’m seeing someone. It’s… Well, I’m seeing someone.”

“Which you are announcing to me because…?” Phil asked slowly, not really following why it was a big deal.

“Okay,” Robert said. “I’m in a relationship with a man.”

“Oh!” Phil said, looking completely surprised. For a moment, Robert got almost a savage thrill from it, because he’d never seen anyone disconcert his boss before. “Wow, okay. I wouldn’t have expected that from you, Robert.”

“What does that mean?” Robert asked, stung.

“Come on,” Phil said with a smile. “Everyone knows your reputation, a new girl every week. I’m just surprised.”

“Great,” Robert said dully.

“Is it serious?”

“I think it’s getting there,” Robert said. “It’s not casual, not any more.” Robert sighed. “Look, I’m not exactly sure when it‘s going to come out. But I’m also not going to stop seeing Aaron, so there’s a chance someone with a camera will spot us. And I wanted to warn you because if it hit’s the papers…”

“Yes, I understand,” Phil said, nodding. “Thanks for the heads up. Is there anything I need to know about him?”

“Actually, yes. He’s got a criminal record. Nothing too terrible, but… that might need looking into.” Phil rolled his eyes.

“Give me a name, Robert,” he said. Robert hesitated. “I won’t broadcast it, but if I need to get HR involved, it would help before it all comes out.”

“Aaron Livesy,” Robert said, Phil jotting it down.

“Robert, I feel like I should tell you, that if you come out in public with this, it isn’t going to be easy,” Phil said. “I’m not saying don’t do it, it’s your life, but football is… You know what this worlds like. No footballers come out while playing, so you’re going to have a lot of focus put on you.”

“I know,” Robert said. “I’ve thought about all of that, and it’s going to be difficult. But I love him, and that’s worth more. I don’t want to wait until my playing career’s over before I can be with him properly. I might have a good few years left in me yet.”

“With what I paid for your transfer fee, you better,” Phil grumbled, but Robert smiled. It was good natured and well meant.

“You’ll have the full support of the club behind you, Robert,” Phil said seriously.

“Thank you,” Robert said. “That means a lot to me.”

“I can’t say everyone else will be supportive, and a few fans might not like it, but…”

“But that’ll never change until someone sticks their head on the wall,” Robert said with a sigh. “I wouldn’t have picked it being me but… I’m in love with Aaron, and I’m done hiding it.”

* * *

“You’re thinking very loudly,” Aaron said in bed that night. He could tell sleep was miles off for Robert right now.

“I talked to my manager today,” Robert said. “About you, us.”

“Oh?” Aaron asked, stroking a hand through Robert's hair lightly. “And…”

“It went well,” Robert said. “Phil was all supportive and… yeah, good. 

“But…?”

“I’m worried about you,” Robert said, rolling onto his stomach and looking into Aaron’s eyes. His face was soft, eyes bright blue and he looked relaxed. Robert stroked his hair gently. “I’ve been in the limelight for a while and… it’s not going to be easy.”

“You want to back out?” Aaron asked.

“No,” Robert said, his hand trailing down Aaron’s face, neck, then chest. “But… I think you should be aware of what you’re walking into. Here, we’ll be… protected, I guess. Most people in this village have known me since I was a kid, and the same with you. They won’t be fascinated by us.”

“But?” Aaron pushed.

“But,” Robert agreed. “There will be other people who will be bothered by it. Whenever I go to the football grounds, whenever we’re seen in public together we’ll be photographed.” Robert sighed. “I’ve lived with it for a few years, and it can overwhelm even me. So I do worry about you.” Aaron scoffed. “You’ve been known to have a short temper.”

“Sometimes you get off on my short temper,” Aaron said, teasing him.

“True.” They both laughed quietly. “The honest truth is… I don’t know how the public reaction’s going to be. I can guess, I can have all the support from the club in the world, but it won’t change the public mood.”

“You’re scared,” Aaron said, realising it.

“Yeah, I am,” Robert said. “Sorry, but I am.”

“I know this is new to you,” Aaron said. “Being with a man. I know how frightening it is to actually be in public with a man. And that’s before you add in all the pressure from the media and…”

“You’re not helping,” Robert cut in quickly.

“Sorry,” Aaron said with a smile. Robert pulled him close and kissed him briefly.

“Does Adam know?” Robert said.

“From the way he’s been looking at me across the pub, I’d say yeah,” Aaron said. “He’s not said anything, but I know he knows.”

“Chas?”

“Nothing,” Aaron said. “Still wants to meet my new boyfriend.” He rolled his eyes.

“Are we going to tell her?” Robert asked.

“She’ll only warn me off you,” Aaron said, pressing a light kiss to Robert’s lips. “It’s a bit late for that. What about Andy?”

“I’m not telling him,” Robert said. “He can find out with the rest of the world.”

“He’s your brother,” Aaron said.

“And he’s too much like dad,” Robert said. “I know what his reaction’ll be.”

“You said I was… your first guy,” Aaron said in confusion.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “You are. And Vic and Andy might put dad on a pedestal, but I can pretty much guess what his reaction would have been. Maybe it’s better he’s dead.”

“You don’t mean that,” Aaron said.

“No, I don’t,” Robert said. “But I’m also not exactly sad that I don’t have to tell him I’ve fallen in love with a man. He wouldn’t have liked it.”

Aaron knew arguing was pointless. Robert had made up his mind about Jack, and that was that. And Aaron knew less than nothing to even try to argue it.

“Are you going to release a statement then?” Aaron asked, and Robert frowned at him. “I don’t know how exactly this works. Telling the world when you’re you. It shouldn't even be a big deal.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. Let’s get Christmas out of the way first, then… maybe," Robert said.

“I’ve no idea what to get you for Christmas, by the way,” Aaron said. “What do you buy the man who has everything?”

“I’ve got a home match on boxing day, so I can spend Christmas day here with you,” Robert said. “That’s all I want.”

“Soft touch,” Aaron said with pleasure. Robert pulled him into a kiss, slow and deep. “I will have to be with my mum for a bit on Christmas day.”

“Or… we could tell her about us first?” Robert suggested.

“Maybe,” Aaron said, but he rolled on top of Robert, and that subject was closed for another day.

* * *

 

_Two weeks later._

Robert went through his photos on his phone, looking for a good one, one that would suit his purposes. They’d messed around with the camera on a lazy morning in bed not long ago. He found the photo he liked. Aaron was mostly out of shot, just his stubbled jaw visible. Robert was the focus of the picture, and he had been caught looking up into Aaron’s face, and it was obvious that he was completely in love with the man above him. He had a soft look in his eyes, the way he was caught up in that single moment, tilting his head for a kiss. 

It would be a brave move, it really would. He went onto his instagram account. He barely used it, but he still had a couple of million followers. Premier league and England footballer could do that for you. If he posted it, it’d be out. He wouldn’t have to post a statement about it, make it a big deal, he’d let everyone else deal with the fall out. Robert sighed, adding a black and white filter to the picture. Then he added the simple description “The boyfriend.” It took him a while to find the bisexual flag emoji, but he eventually did, and added it. He didn’t want anyone to make false assumptions about him. Then he hovered his thumb over post. No one would know it was Aaron in that picture, one reason why he chose it. He wasn’t endangering Aaron’s privacy if he still wanted to back out. They had no idea after all, how the public would react to this. And if Aaron decided it was too much, he had a few days grace before the media found out who he was.

But he loved Aaron, deeply and he was tired of hiding. He hit post. Then he turned his phone off. He didn’t need the phone calls he’d undoubtedly get.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support! I've tried to get this chapter done asap, so I hope you enjoy! Warnings for homophobic language here.

Aaron was having dinner in the backroom of the pub when the 6 o’clock news came on the telly.

 _“Premiership player Robert Sugden today became the first footballer to come out in a same sex relationship.”_ Aaron dropped his fork, eyes now glued to the screen. _“On the players instagram, he released this picture.”_ A shot of Robert and Aaron filled the screen and Aaron sighed. He liked that picture of Robert, he looked utterly gorgeous in it. He remembered it being taken, they’d been messing around in bed, more laughing than anything else and there’d been about 50 pictures on Robert’s phone. It didn’t escape Aaron’s attention that he was pretty unidentifiable in that picture either. Maybe Chas would recognise him, because she knew him so well, but he doubted anyone else would.

Aaron tuned out of the rest of the article and picked up his phone to call Robert. It went straight through to answer phone so Aaron guessed he’d switched it off. He abandoned his dinner, feeling his heart racing. 

“Hey, where are you off to?” Chas asked as Aaron put his hoodie on.

“I’m going up to Roberts,” Aaron said.

“Er… why?” Chas asked.

“Check the news,” Aaron said briefly, grabbing his car keys and leaving.

“Aaron! Wait!” she called, but he ignored her. It was two days before Christmas, and he had known that if Robert was going to come out about their relationship, he was going to do it now. The logic being that people were far too busy with their own families to be worried about him. Part of him had thought that Robert might back out. He knew this was unbelievably difficult for him, and half of him couldn’t believe Robert had actually posted that picture.

There weren’t any journalists outside Home Farm, another reason Robert had picked now. They were all having time off, and Aaron parked haphazardly before knocking furiously, stood outside his front door. 

“Come on, Robert, it’s me!” Aaron shouted. Robert opened the door quickly, and he looked frazzled. His hair had had his fingers run through it a lot and was standing on end.

“You should have told me you were posting that today,” Aaron said, almost breathlessly.

“I just… I had to,” Robert settled on. “No one would know it’s you.” Neither man could stop looking at the other, Robert’s eyes going over every inch of his face. God, he loved this man. Aaron moved first, surging forward and kissing him. Robert reacted instantly, hands going to the zip on Aaron’s hoodie and pulling it down.

“I want you in my bed,” Robert said, determined.

“Subtle, Rob,” Aaron said with a smile.

“I don’t care,” Robert said. “I want you naked, in my bed, with my hands and mouth all over every inch of you.” Aaron’s eyes darkened with lust as Robert’s hands went to his belt, slowly unbuckling it.

* * *

“I feel better after that,” Robert said.

“Glad I could be of some use,” Aaron muttered. Robert smiled and pulled Aaron close to him.

“You know I don’t mean it like that,” Robert said. “I just…”

“Needed the release, I know, I could tell,” Aaron said, smiling at him easily. “How are you?”

“I’ve not seen any of the reaction,” Robert said. “I just switched my phone off.”

“Burying your head in the sand?”

“If I was, I’d hardly have posted it in the first place,” Robert said. “Come on, I’m hungry, I’ll cook us something.”

Aaron didn’t argue. He’d already sort of eaten at home, but he hadn’t finished by the time he’d seen the news. And Robert needed to keep busy, he knew that. Robert threw his clothes back on and Aaron grabbed an old football shirt of Roberts to put on. It was soft and smelled of Robert, and he’d started to get into the habit of wearing it after sex. Robert didn’t mention it, and neither did he but it felt good. He put some jogging bottoms on and followed Robert downstairs.

“You don’t even want to check?” Aaron asked as Robert put the pasta on.

“No. How did your mum react?”

“I’m sure I’ll have that bombshell waiting for me when I get home.” Robert frowned. “I saw the news and left.”

“And?” Robert asked, focusing on the stove. “What was the reaction?”

“Didn’t see,” Aaron said. “I just wanted to come up here straight away. Turn your phone on, Rob.”

“No.” Robert stirred the pasta. “I’m waiting for a knock on the door to be honest.”

“From who?”

“Take your pick.”

“Come on, Robert,” Aaron said, putting a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles against his body. “You have people who care about you, it’s not all the press or your job. Me, Vic, it might be a bit of a shock to Andy, Louise, your team mates? It might not be the negative reaction you’re expecting.”

Robert sighed, nodded and turned his phone on, leaving it on the kitchen table to boot up. Then there was a knock on the door, and both Aaron and Robert looked at each other, freezing.

“Probably my mum,” Aaron said, though he didn’t know if she’d follow him up here. “Shall I get rid?”

“Do you mind?” Robert asked. Aaron kissed into Robert’s neck, before being distracted by the repeat knocking.

“Yeah, all right, I’m coming,” he grumbled. Aaron opened the door and saw Louise and Chris there. It was obvious Louise had been crying and Chris didn’t look happy, especially when Aaron put his arm across the door to stop them coming in.

“Is Robert here?” Louise asked.

“You know he is,” Aaron said. “I don’t think he wants to see anyone.”

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Chris asked, clearly angry.

“Someone you don’t like,” Aaron said. “Leave it. Let him cool off until tomorrow.”

“No, I need to see him,” Chris said.

“It’s all right,” Robert said behind him. “They can come in.” Aaron moved aside after looking at Robert’s face and seeing that he meant it.

“Fine.”

“In the kitchen though,” Robert said. “I’m cooking.” They all walked through and everyone could sense the tension in the air.

“Can you just go somewhere?” Chris directed to Aaron, obviously frustrated.

“I’m not going anywhere, unless he wants me to leave.” Aaron could tell from the look on Robert’s face that he didn’t want to be on his own right now.

“What do you want?” Robert asked him, trying to be level headed.

“Is that a trick question?” Chris asked.

“Who I’m sleeping with is none of your business,” Robert said briefly.

“Of course it is when they’re after a cheap meal ticket!” Chris snapped. Aaron smiled without humour, nodding. Good to know what Chris thought of him, then.

“Oh, come off it,” Robert said. “I’ve been a footballer for a long time, I think I can tell someone who’s with me for money or fame. You know me better than that. You think I’d fall for it?”

“I thought I knew you,” Chris said, shaking his head, the disappointment coming off of him in waves.

“You do know me,” Robert said.

“I didn’t think you enjoyed sleeping with men!” Chris shouted. 

“Louise, why’re you here?” Robert said, turning her attention to her, thinking she‘d be more rational.

“I wondered if I could stay here tonight,” she said, sniffing slightly. “I don’t fancy a hotel, and I’m not going home with _him_.”

“Course you can,” Robert said with a forced smile, not looking at Chris.

“Am I the only one who sees a problem here?!” Chris asked the room at large.

“No, I see **A** problem,” Aaron said lowly, glaring at Chris. He didn’t like being talked about like this, not one little bit.

“You think the team will play with you after this?” Chris asked. “No way! You’ve thrown your career away, for what? A bit of a novelty?”

 _“Aaron,”_ Robert warned. Aaron had moved as if to go for Chris, Robert could read it straight away.

“You’re going to let him talk to you like that?” Aaron sneered.

“You being arrested for GBH right now is hardly going to help matters, is it?” Robert said. “Aaron, just… go. I’m all right.”

“Sure?” Aaron asked, not wanting to go.

“He said leave!” Chris snapped. Aaron nodded at Robert, and he and Louise left into the living room, Louise looking like she was on the verge of tears again.

“What is your problem?” Robert said. “I’m still exactly the same person I was last week.”

“You’re gay!” Chris hissed at him.

“I’m not, actually,” Robert said. “I like women, you know that. I’ve not been pretending all these years. But I also like him. I’m bisexual Chris, don’t be as stupid as you’re acting.”

“Why him?!” Chris said. “What’s so special about him?!”

“Well you see, he does this thing with his tongue…” Robert said sarcastically.

“Robert!” 

“I don’t ask about your sex life!” Robert said, feeling close to really shouting at him now. “Why does it bother you?” Robert turned away from him to take the pasta off the cooker and then looked back at him.

“I…”

“Seriously, what’s the problem?” Robert asked. “I know we don’t know how fans are going to react, and I know that Aaron’s going to be under scrutiny, he knows that too. But what is it that winds you up so much?”

“I didn’t think you were like that,” Chris said. “I’m just disappointed.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Me too. You can leave now, I think you've made your feelings clear.”

“Sort yourself out Robert. He’ll only be after your money,” Chris said, clearly under the impression he was offering good advice.

“It’s not money. And you know something? I went after him, not the other way around.” Chris just shook his head, but he left the house and Robert breathed out in relief. Was this just the first challenge he’d face? Why should who he fell for dictate how people treated him? Robert plated up their pasta, but he suddenly didn’t feel so hungry. He went through to the living room to find Louise blowing her nose, and Aaron looking very uncomfortable with a crying woman.

“Where is he?” Louise asked.

“Not in the house,” Robert said. “I hope he’s driven off, I don’t want to see him.” Then he realised who he was talking to. “Sorry. I know he’s your fiancé.”

“He’s an arse,” Louise said. “I’m not marrying that idiot.”

“Oh God,” Robert said, rubbing a hand over his head in frustration. “I didn’t mean to wreck your life, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”

“Better I know he’s a homophobic twat now rather than in a years time.”

“Louise,” Robert said tiredly, collapsing into the arm chair. “He’ll calm down.”

“Will he?” Louise said.

“He’s not an unreasonable man,” Robert said. “I don’t get why he’s acting like this.”

“Fragile masculine ego,” Louise said. “Are you sure you don’t mind me staying here?”

“Stay as long as you like,” Robert said seriously. He grabbed his phone and after a moments thought, he unlocked it and had a look. 51 missed calls, countless messages and alerts and 14 emails from news organisations, asking for a statement. Which was a lot, given that it should be going through the clubs PR, not directly to him.

Robert could feel Aaron’s eyes on him, even from across the room, and he tapped on his phone, opening instagram. He’d never catch up with all his alerts, there were thousands of them. He read some of the comments on the photo he’d posted.

_“Good for him!”_

_“Ah, can’t see who it is! Post another photo!”_

_“Ooh, didn’t see that coming!”_

_“Look at him, he looks completely smitten…”_

_“Wouldn’t have had him down as a fag.”_ Robert blocked that one. But by and large they were overwhelmingly positive, something Robert hadn’t really expected. Though what he had expected… Robert wouldn’t be able to say.

“Well?” Aaron asked. “How is it?”

“Good,” Robert said, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly tired. “Nothing tragic yet.” Louise could tell she was in the way, and she left, leaving Aaron and Robert alone. Aaron came over to Robert and smiled at him.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked.

“Sort of,” Robert said. He reached for Aaron’s waist and pulled him almost into Robert’s lap, not that Aaron minded. Aaron pressed his head against Robert’s neck and Robert sighed with contentment. It felt good, reassuring to have Aaron here with him like this. Aaron brushed his chin against his collarbone and Robert shivered at the sensation. He needed Aaron right now.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been a bit lapse with this, sorry! I've had a few rough days with canon (Seb) so I've struggled to put this together. But I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for the wait! Warning for self harm scars mention.

“I have to go,” Aaron said, waking Robert up as he pulled his clothes on.

“What? Why?” Robert asked blearily, blinking himself to consciousness.

“Because my mum keeps calling,” Aaron said. “And I’ve ignored her for long enough. This’ll probably effect her too.”

“Yeah, go,” Robert said. “Don’t let her give you too much grief.”

“I won’t,” Aaron said. He leaned over Robert, brushing his lips softly against him. “Call if you need me, yeah?”

“I’ll be fine,” Robert said. “Louise’s here if I have any problems.”

“Call anyway,” Aaron said.

“Okay,” Robert kissed him once more and Aaron left, getting into his car to drive back into the village. Chas called while he was starting the car, and he answered.

“Yeah, I’m on my way back home,” Aaron said shortly.

“Aaron, what do you think…”

“Can you wait to lecture me until I get in the door?” Aaron asked. “In case you haven’t gathered, it’s going to be a stressful few days.”

“Fine,” Chas snapped and Aaron hung up, before going back to the pub.

* * *

He walked through the back room and saw Chas in her dressing gown almost aggressively stirring her morning coffee.

“Where’ve you been?”

“I’ll give you three guesses,” Aaron deadpanned. He sat opposite Chas at the kitchen table, knowing he wasn’t getting out of this conversation so he didn’t even bother trying.

“So, you and Robert,” Chas said with a plastic smile.

“Yeah, me and Robert,” Aaron said.

“How long?”

“Since he moved here.”

“What?!” Chas asked in shock.

“Well, pretty much,” Aaron said with a shrug. “What does it matter?”

“You’ve been lying to everyone for months!” Chas said. “If he’s making you…”

“He’s not making me do anything,” Aaron said. “We didn’t want it all over the papers in case it didn’t… stick.”

“But it is?” Chas asked. “Sticking?”

“Looks that way,” Aaron said. “Mum, please don’t spin me all the crap about him and Andy and Katie. They were teenagers. And I know Katie can’t get past it, but Robert really doesn’t think of her.”

“You’re an idiot,” Chas said.

“Thanks,” Aaron said. “I appreciate that.”

“He’ll dump you the second it gets difficult,” Chas said.

“Then why did he go public with me?” Aaron asked.

“He didn’t go public with _you,”_ Chas said. “No one would recognise you from that photo.”

“Yeah, that’s the point,” Aaron said. “He’s giving me time in case I want to back out. He’s trying to hide who I am for a little bit until the journalists find out. I doubt it’ll be hard to find out who I am. I don't want to lie, and everyone in the village knows we're friendly.”

“Why him?” Chas asked, looking like the world was ending.

“You know me,” Aaron said. “Everyone I go for has some kind of problem.” Chas huffed and rolled her eyes. “Mum, I love him.”

“It’s love, is it?” Chas asked sniffily.

“Yeah,” Aaron said honestly. “Yeah, it is. I love him, and he loves me, and neither of us want to lose that. Which is why he posted that picture anyway.”

“I just hope you know what you’re doing,” Chas said.

“That’s it?” Aaron asked, almost waiting for more shouting.

“I wish you’d told me months ago,” Chas said. “But I know you’ve been happier lately. You’re not your normal grumpy self.”

“Thanks, I guess?” Aaron said.

“You should have told me, though.”

“Yeah, all right,” Aaron said. “I’ll give you that.” He started chewing his bottom lip.

“What’s the problem?”

“I’ve been telling him for weeks,” Aaron said. “I’ve been telling him it’s all going to be all right. When it all comes out about us. But… what if it’s not?”

“You mean… people’s reactions.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “His oldest mate from football came around last night. The things he said…”

“Bad?” Chas asked, getting defensive on Aaron's behalf.

“Oh, I’ve heard worse,” Aaron said. “I don’t really care, it almost bounces off me unless it’s really bad. But Robert… he hasn’t. And I know it hurt him because it came from a friend. And if his team mates don’t want to know, then he’s screwed, no matter what his management says.”

“It probably will be all right,” Chas said. “But you’ve got to be prepared that… maybe it won’t.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “I really don’t care what happens. You can't change peoples minds by shouting at them. But I know Robert does care what happens.”

“Why don’t you let him play his match before you write him off completely?” Chas said. “Because the truth is, you don’t know either way.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said quietly. “Thanks. That’s actually good advice.”

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Chas said, and Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Any bacon in the fridge?” Aaron asked, suddenly starving.

“Help yourself.” Aaron did just that.

* * *

 

Robert couldn’t sleep once Aaron had gone and he walked along the hall to the room Louise had slept in. He heard her talking so he knocked on the door. “Yeah,” she said, and Robert went in, seeing her wrapped up in the duvet, on the phone.

“Yeah. Yeah,” Louise was saying as Robert got into bed next to her. He’d done it plenty of times before and it looked like he’d forgotten to switch the heating on in the spare room. It was freezing. “Yes, I’m coming home today. Okay. Love you too. Bye.”

“Chris?” Robert asked.

“God no, mum,” Louise said. “I’m going home for Christmas.”

“Oh, right,” Robert said.

“Why’re you in my bed instead of Aarons?”

“He’s gone.”

“He left you?!” Louise shouted.

“No, calm down!” Robert said quickly. “He’s gone to talk to his mother. There’s no way she won’t have seen that photo and put two and two together.”

“Oh, that makes sense,” Louise said. “How are you?”

“Tired,” Robert said. “Worried. I don’t know.” Louise sighed and curled up deeper in the duvet. “I wouldn’t think less of you for getting back with Chris,” Robert said. “I don’t want you to leave him because of what he said.”

“I’m not leaving him because of you,” Louise said. “I’m leaving him because he’s homophobic. And I didn’t know that about him, and I… love him, but I’m embarrassed by him. Come on, what if any kid I had with him happened to be gay? That’s not the kind of family I want.”

“I know,” Robert said. “He might get over it.”

“He shouldn’t have to,” Louise said, he should be a decent enough guy for it not to take time.” Louise shook her head. “It’s different. Er, what do you think you’re doing?” she asked as Robert turned over, closing his eyes.

“Sleeping,” Robert said. “I forgot how comfortable this bed was, might have to switch it with mine.” Louise rolled her eyes and tapped his shoulder playfully, but she let him drift off. He needed his sleep anyway.

* * *

 

Christmas dinner was spent at Vic’s. Robert was dreading it, because a gathering of Vic, Adam, Andy, Katie and himself and Aaron had so many opportunities to go wrong. He hadn’t seen Andy since the news broke. Aaron’s name had been released late Christmas eve, but thanks to the time of year, no journalists seemed to be bothered camping out, though Robert knew that it’d happen eventually. His criminal record had also not been released. He felt a little cold when he thought about his match tomorrow, because the amount of press he anticipated would be huge. And Aaron had also said he was coming, no matter how much Robert warned him it wouldn’t be easy. Robert didn’t think Aaron was really aware of how big a deal this was in football. Either that, or he was putting on a front for Robert’s benefit.

“Hi,” Robert said, when Vic opened her door on Christmas morning, the scent of Christmas dinner cooking already hitting them both.

“Hi, you’re the last ones here!” Vic said, smiling broadly, waving them in. Aaron followed, seeing Andy on the sofa, already drinking a can of beer, and Katie wearing an apron, obviously helping Vic with the dinner. “So, which one of yous wants to help?”

“I will,” Robert said, heading into the kitchen with a nod to Aaron who almost threw himself into the armchair.

“All right?” he said to Andy.

“Mm,” he said. “So... you and my brother?”

“Yep,” Aaron said. “Leave him alone, he’s not… Tomorrows going to be tough enough for him as it is.”

“Why would you get with him? You know what he’s like,” Andy said.

“The sex was good,” Aaron said, annoyed. He didn’t need Robert to be wound up today. “I got with him, because he’s not the same person he was as a teenager. You’re not the same either, none of us are.”

“Fair enough,” Andy said. “He’s trouble.”

“That’s part of the fun,” Aaron said with a grin, one Andy returned. “Chuck us a can.” Andy did, passing Aaron a beer and he smiled.

* * *

In the kitchen Katie and Robert were… well, frosty would be the best way to describe it. Vic was chatting away to herself, trying to ease the tension, and while Robert appreciated her efforts, he’d have preferred quiet. Maybe to address the elephant in the room no one wanted to talk about.

“Look, if anyones going to have a go at me, can we just get on with it please?” Robert said, looking at Katie pointedly.

“I’m not going to say anything!” she said with wide doe eyes.

“Can we not have a scene,” Vic said, seeming upset.

“I’m not making one,” Robert said. “But after the last few days, she’s bound to have an opinion, she always does.”

“Well I was going to make a joke about how you’ve gone around all the women and moved onto the men,” Katie said, looking put out. “You kind of took all the fun out of it now.”

“I’m not with Aaron for publicity or for a stunt,” Robert said. “I’m with him because I love him. I’m serious about him, okay?”

“Fine!” Katie said, holding her hands up. “Can we just… get on with dinner?”

“Perfect,” Robert said, eyes flashing. Katie knew perfectly well that any jibes wouldn’t be well met. Robert could spar with the best of them, and certainly verbally he gave as good as he got, but clearly not on the subject of Aaron. And it was that that told Katie that Robert did mean this with Aaron. He wasn't using him, for God knows what end. This was real. So Katie kept her word, and she didn't wind him up.

* * *

Christmas dinner went well. Robert was aware that Andy was watching him a little more closely than usual, but nothing was said. Robert drove back to Home Farm, he’d been the one not drinking as he was working tomorrow, and Aaron was tipsy and merry to say the least. Robert parked and Aaron’s eyes were a little unfocused, but he seemed happy.

“Aaron, I don’t want you coming tomorrow,” Robert said, and Aaron frowned. He didn’t follow that logic at all.

“To the match? Of course I’m coming.”

“No, I want you to stay in the village,” Robert said. “Tomorrow… it’s going to be bad. And I want you away from all that, so I’ve got you to come home to.”

“I’m coming,” Aaron said. He might be a little worse for the wear for drink, but he could still be stubborn. “You’re not going through that on your own, I need to be there.”

“Okay,” Robert said, too tired and drained to fight. “Come on. I want to take you to bed.” Aaron perked up, looking interested. “For sleep,” Robert clarified.

“Shame.” Robert liked to save his energy before match days, and Aaron knew it. They didn’t really speak as they went into the house, curling up with each other quietly.

* * *

 

Robert woke up early. It was barely light, the dawn just creeping in, and he slowly got out of bed, moving carefully so he didn’t wake up Aaron who was snoring gently. Once he was out of bed, he looked at him, relieved that he was still asleep and grabbed some clothes to quickly dress.

He went downstairs, grabbing his stuff, making sure he had everything, including his phone charger, because Aaron was hardly going to be happy he was being left behind. Robert expected an earful at the very least but he was doing this to protect Aaron. He might want to be supportive, but Aaron would have no idea what he was walking into if he arrived at the stadium. Robert only had a fair idea, he had nothing to measure it against. No footballer had done this before, been in a relationship with a man publicly.

He grabbed his keys, debated on breakfast and decided against it and got to the front door. Robert sighed, seeing Aaron stood there in only his underwear, obviously having just woken up. Robert closed his eyes, hoping he’d got away with it.

“What were you planning on doing?” Aaron asked, knowing full well what the answer was. Robert dropped his eyes, going over Aaron’s body slowly.

“Leaving without you,” Robert said. “I don’t want to put you through it.”

“It’s too late,” Aaron said quietly. “It’s out there now. If I don’t come with you, by tonight this house will probably be ringed by reporters, and you know it. And anyway, I want to be with you. I want to support you. Why don’t you want that?” Aaron looked so disappointed and it broke Robert’s heart. He closed the distance between them, a hand on Aaron’s hip lightly. His other traced the faint scars on Aaron’s abdomen and he flinched.

“Don’t,” Aaron whispered, feeling embarrassed.

“You are gorgeous,” Robert said, before touching his lips softly to Aarons. “You’ve been through your own battles and it doesn’t make you any less. You’re as far away from that world as it’s possible to get, and I love that about you.” Aaron’s lips tilted in a slight smile. “But I’m scared shitless you’re going to run when the journalists start hounding you.”

“I’m not,” Aaron said fervently. “Give me a chance to show you.”

“Okay,” Robert said. “Sorry. I just… yeah, lets…”

“I’m driving,” Aaron said, grabbing the keys out of Robert’s hand, and Robert didn’t argue. Instead he kissed him, keeping it slow and soft, full of feeling.

“Get some clothes on then,” Robert said. “Otherwise you really will make the front page.” Aaron hummed and went upstairs, leaving Robert happy, but with a sense of trepidation. This was going to be an important day.


	24. Chapter 24

“Do you want to pull over?” Robert suggested, sitting in the car and feeling anxious. “We could find a hotel and…”

“We’re doing this,” Aaron said, concentrating on turning left towards the football grounds. Robert bounced his leg up and down, trying to stay calm. He knew there would be press there, but Phil had already told him that security for the match would be doubled. Robert wasn’t sure that _doubled_ was strictly necessary, but even so, he was glad of it.

Robert heard them before he saw them. The hubbub, the general fever pitch of camera’s, journalists, everyone else. Aaron didn’t say anything, but set his jaw as he turned towards the private car park at the back of the stadium. “Are you okay?” Robert asked, which he only got a grunt back.

It didn’t take long, seconds, for the journalists to catch on to who was in the car, and Aaron had to slow down so he didn’t run anyone over. Which unfortunately meant that a lot of photographers were flashing their cameras at Aaron. And it was certainly more focused on Aaron than Robert, as well, Aaron having gone pale. Robert didn’t say anything, he couldn’t be heard over the shouting of photographers. There was security there, but they were hardly doing much to keep the journalists back even though they were trying their best. Aaron put his foot down a little more, and in a couple of seconds they were driving through and Aaron breathed deeply, parking the car.

“My eyes are ringing,” Aaron said. Robert knew what he meant, the multiple camera flashes weren’t doing his retinas any favours either.

“Well, you ran the gauntlet,” Robert said.

“Is it like that everywhere you go?” Aaron asked.

“No,” Robert said. “I think today might be a special case. You’re a special case.”

“Great,” Aaron said unenthusiastically.

“Look, let me take you to a hotel,” Robert said. “I’ll play, I’ll pick you up and we’ll go home. Or abuse the mini bar after the match, either works.”

“Nah, I made it here now,” Aaron said. “They've got a good look at me.” Robert leaned across and kissed him briefly.

“Thanks,” Robert said. “I mean it.”

Aaron smiled, and they got out of the car, to see a security guard waiting for them.

“Ah, hi John,” Robert said recognising him. “Can you do me a favour and look out for Aaron today?”

“What?!” Aaron scowled. “I don’t need a babysitter!”

“Yep, will do,” the guard said easily, nodding at Robert and completely ignoring Aaron.

“I don’t need a minder, Robert,” Aaron said firmly.

“For one day,” Robert said. “Please, just one day.”

“You’re lucky I love you,” Aaron grumbled, very unhappy, and Robert smiled in triumph.

“Actually, Phil wants a word with both of you,” John said.

“He’s here already?” Robert asked.

“Why would he want a word with me?” Aaron asked at the same time.

“He’s here,” John said. “Come on.” Aaron and Robert followed him through to Phil’s office Aaron half a step behind, not really knowing where he was going. John waited outside and Robert knocked once before opening the door. Phil looked weary and tired, though he smiled at both Aaron and Robert.

“Hi,” Phil said. “You must be Aaron.” Aaron shrugged, having no idea what to say. This was a weird situation, he was in front of Robert’s manager, essentially his boss, a man Aaron had only seen before on TV. “You’re not what I expected.”

“What, not feminine enough for you?” Aaron replied sarcastically.

“Aaron, that’s not helping,” Robert snapped.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” Phil said. “It's been a long few days. Nice to meet you.” Aaron snorted because he privately doubted that and buried his hands in his pockets, waiting.

“Robert, I’m glad you’re here,” Phil said. “Listen…”

“No, don’t you dare,” Robert said, sensing his tone. “I _need_ to play today, don’t take me off.”

“I need to make sure your heads in the game,” Phil said seriously. “If you’re thinking of everything else outside those ninety minutes, I shouldn’t let you play.”

“You couldn’t have told me that when I was at home?” Robert snapped.

“Robert…”

“No, listen, it will always be like this until I play. If you bench me for six months, it will still be like this for my first match back anyway. I need to play. You know me, you know I can switch off everything else when I play.”

“You want to be in the staring line up?”

“Yes,” Robert said with a smile.

“I’m going to take you off if I think your hearts not in it.”

“Fine,” Robert said. “I’m going to score today, I know it.”

“Calm it with the arrogance,” Phil said.

“You like that about me,” Robert said smugly. Phil smiled.

“Good luck today.”

“Thanks.”

“I want him watched today though,” Phil said, nodding at Aaron.

“Again, I don’t need a minder,” Aaron said. “What exactly does everyone think I’m going to do?”

“It’s not you that’s the problem,” Robert said. “It’s more… you could be a target. Which is why I wanted you at home.”

“Robert, do you really think I can’t handle myself?” Aaron asked. “Because I'm starting to get a bit insulted.”

“I’ll worry less,” Robert said. “Please.”

“You’re going to make this up to me,” Aaron said, eyes bright.

“Agreed,” Robert said, already looking forward to tonight.

“Another thing,” Phil said. “Chris has been suspended from the club.”

“Er… why?” Robert asked.

“Because of the homophobic crap he was spouting,” Phil said. “I wouldn’t have taken it further but an official complaint was lodged. It‘s out of my hands.”

“I didn’t complain,” Robert said. He hadn’t, he’d expected Chris to calm down with time.

“No,” Phil said. “I don’t know who it was, human resources won’t tell me. I daresay it’s not going to be long until the press find that out.”

“Great,” Robert said dully.

“Look, just relax, you’re here early, take it easy. Okay?”

“Thanks. So breakfast?” Robert said to Aaron, who nodded.

* * *

 

They went to one of the stadiums cafés, in the private area so they weren’t gawped at. Or not much, Aaron did spy someone taking a photo of him on their phone behind the counter. He tried to ignore it, though he couldn’t ignore the prickling up his spine when he felt like he was being watched. He still felt like that when the waitress brought their breakfasts over.

Aaron recoiled as he felt a hand on his back. “Sorry!” Louise said brightly. “Didn’t mean to make you jump.”

“What’re you doing here?” Robert asked.

“Supporting you, you donut.” Louise pulled up a chair and sat between them.

“Go on then, what’s public opinion?” Aaron asked.

“By and large it’s positive,” Louise said. “It is running on the news, and your face is now everywhere.”

“Great,” Aaron said. “Is it really positive?”

“Yeah,” Louise said. A lot of people are waiting to see how your match goes and if you can still play.”

Robert snorted. “My left calf has much more of an impact on my playing capability than whether I’m sleeping with Aaron or not.”

“Then show them you can,” Aaron said lightly. Robert nodded and kissed him briefly over breakfast.

“Have you checked your instagram lately?” Louise asked.

“No,” Robert said. “Why, should I?”

“Yes,” Louise said. “You’ve got so many people requesting a photo of Aaron. You know, a proper one that isn’t Aaron in a car, driving off.” Robert got out his phone and typed away on it.

“No that can’t be right,” Robert said, looking at his screen.

“What?” Aaron asked.

“I’ve got 400 thousand more followers than I had last time I checked,” Robert said frowning.

“Surely that’s good?” Aaron said after a pause.

“They all… want to see more pictures of you, us,” Robert said, almost bewildered. “They… want to see you..”

“Don’t be so surprised, I’m a catch,” Aaron said, winking at him.

“So?” Louise said. “Post more pictures. Can’t keep your adoring fans waiting.”

“We’ll see how the match goes first,” Robert said, keeping a lid on his emotions. Louise didn’t push it.

* * *

 

Robert was the first in the changing room. He wanted to be here first. If there was… well, Chris like hostility, he figured one on one would be better than en masse. The next player to arrive was Matteo. He smiled at Robert. “How are you?”

“I’m okay,” Robert said. “You?”

“How is it, being public?”

“I’ll tell you in a few hours,” Robert said. Matteo nodded, knowing that that would be the killer. The court of public opinion.

“I’ll pass the ball to you today,” Matteo said. “No glory, I’ll let you score when we‘ve got a chance.” Robert smiled.

“Thank you,” he said, really meaning it. “Do you know… have you talked to the other guys?”

“I talked to Chris,” Matteo said. “He was trying to get us all to gang up on you, like he didn’t have anything better to do over Christmas.” Matteo shrugged.

“It was you,” Robert realised. “You lodged a complaint?”

“Yes, I did,” Matteo said. “You can’t be upset about that. I didn’t want to play with him.” Matteo shook his head.

“And… everyone else?”

“They’ll be all right Robert,” Matteo said. “They’re good guys.” Robert didn’t say it, but he thought Chris was a good guy too.

Steve was the next player to come in, the goalkeeper. He nodded at Matteo, then looked at Robert. “Good Christmas?”

“You don’t want to talk to me about Christmas,” Robert said surely.

“Rob, you’re still the same guy I’ve been playing with for two years. Right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Robert said.

“Then I really don’t care who you’re sleeping with,” Steve said. “Do try and win today, though.”

“Yeah, I’ll do my best,” Robert said. “Don’t let any easy goals in.”

“Four nil sound good?” Steve clapped him on the shoulder, friendly.

“Thanks,” Robert said warmly. Maybe this would be a good match after all.

* * *

The dressing room filled up quickly after that, and a lot of the guys flashed Robert looks, but no one said anything. Robert didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad one. Phil came in when the team were all changed into their kit, ready for the match.

“Afternoon,” he said. “Right, I’m not going to beat around the bush, you’re all going to be aware there’s going to be an intense media presence on this match today.” Everyone looked at Robert and he felt like he was under a neon spotlight. “I need you all to play as a team. If you can’t do that, then we’ve lost before we’ve even stepped onto the pitch. So has anyone got a problem playing with Robert?” There was a murmur, but no one said anything.

“Look, if you’ve got a problem, I’d rather know now,” Robert said. “In a room with twenty of us, rather than the millions watching. So… come on.”

“Is Aaron here?” one of the guys said.

“Yeah, he is. He’ll be watching the match,” Robert said.

“Is it serious?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I don’t want anyone to have a problem with me, all I want to do is win. I didn’t plan to fall for him, it happened. I really wouldn’t have chosen to be the first footballer to do this. So, either we play as a team, or I might as well not bother.” Robert waited, knowing his playing future depended on this reaction.

* * *

Aaron admitted that Robert might have had a point. He was sat next to Louise in the stadium as the players came onto the pitch, and already he’d seen loads of cameras pointed in his direction. He felt briefly glad that John was his security, sitting behind the pair of them, trying to be unobtrusive. The noise had been louder than usual, and Aaron could guess why.

“How was he this morning?” Louise asked.

“Nervous,” Aaron said. “As long as he’s got the team on his side, he’ll be able to deal with the fans who might not like it.”

“Mm,” Louise said. “Robert’s brave to do this.”

“Yeah, having several thousand phones directed at me, trying to get a picture, I’m getting that impression,” Aaron said.

“He loves you.”

“I love him,” Aaron said. “I’m not… doing this to just up and leave him.”

“No, I didn’t think you were,” Louise said. “I think I like you. I think you’re good for him.”

“Right, that’s a seal of approval, is it?” Aaron said and Louise laughed. “How did you meet Robert in the first place?”

“One of his casual…” she tailed off uncomfortably.

“Women he meets for sex,” Aaron finished, rolling his eyes. “I know what he used to be like.”

“Yeah, well, Claire. She was a friend of mine and she dragged me to this party that Robert’s team was throwing. Robert was clearly miserable and spent the evening propping up the bar and I told him to stop being a coward and dump Claire if he had no interest in her. He’d been stringing her along for a while and… somewhere along the way I found out his personality wasn’t that bad.” Aaron laughed at that.

“One way to put it,” Aaron said. Aaron looked at the pitch and bit his bottom lip as the match got under way, trying to fight the nerves he felt for Robert. This had to go well, it just had to.

* * *

“He’s going to be all right,” Aaron said to Louise, ten minutes in to the match.

“What?” Louise asked, looking almost as worried as Aaron felt. “How can you tell?”

“Because the team are playing with him, not against him,” Aaron said. Then frowned at her. “How much football have you watched?”

“As little as necessary,” Louise said, making Aaron smile.

“He’ll be all right,” Aaron said, letting out the breath he’d been holding for what felt like days. Aaron got out his phone and started to book a hotel room for tonight. After the day they’d had, he wanted to do something nice for Robert. And spending time locked away from the world in white bed sheets with a wide screen TV seemed to qualify. He was still tapping away when Louise tugged on his hoodie, the noise in the stadium kicking up. Aaron looked up and saw Robert had the ball and was heading towards the goal.

“Come on…” Aaron said under his breath. “Come on, Robert, you know you need this.” He tried to wrong foot the defender, managed it and Aaron forgot to breathe for a few seconds as Robert took aim and kicked the ball towards the goal. The goalies fingertips brushed the ball, but it went in, hitting the back of the net, a roar going up from the crowd. Aaron grinned as the big screens focused on Robert, getting hugged and patted on the back by his team mates and Aaron could see the relief in his face. They had both needed that. Robert knew where he was sitting and scanned the crowd, finding Aaron and locking eyes with him. Aaron nodded and Robert smiled at him. They were going to make it.

 


	25. Chapter 25

Robert was substituted in the 71st minute, after having had a good match to an applause from the home fans. He’d scored and assisted the second goal, but he was privately glad he was being taken off. That seemed to be enough for one day, and he saw Phil smiling at him, giving him a curt nod as Robert took a seat on the bench, putting his tracksuit on. He knew a lot of eyes were still on him, like they were trying to see if being bisexual suddenly made him grow an extra head or something. Robert focused on the match until the full time whistle, a 2-1 victory. It could have gone better on the score line, but one thing Robert knew without any doubt was it could have gone a lot worse. He celebrated with his team mates, completely ignored the journalists wanting an interview, going through to the changing room. He’d done well and he could breathe again.

The team nodded and smiled at him as they came in, the atmosphere much less tense than it had been a couple of hours before. “Are you coming out with us to celebrate?” Robert looked to see Mark, genuinely offering.

“Er… no,” Robert said.

“Plans with Aaron?”

“Yeah,” Robert said quietly. He didn’t want to alienate the team, but it really had been stressful enough for one day, and he wanted to be with Aaron, someone he didn’t have to be careful about what he said. Someone he could just be himself with without worrying.

“Do we get to meet him?” Steve asked.

“You’ve already met him, he came on that night out with the team a few weeks ago,” Robert said, leaving out that that had been entirely the point of that evening.

“How long’ve you been with him?” Steve asked.

“A few months now.”

“Wow.”

“What?” Robert asked, getting needlessly defensive.

“Nothing,” Steve said “Now I definitely want to meet him though. The man who got Robert Sugden to commit?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Robert said, rolling his eyes. “I’ve got to go.”

* * *

Robert found Aaron at the bar, a beer in hand. “Hi,” Aaron said, eyes all soft, much more so than his words.

“Hi,” Robert said.

“Well done,” Aaron said, and Robert smiled. They were in a private bar, one for only the players, staff of the club and their guests, not the general public. But even so almost everyones eyes were on them.

“Can we get out of here?” Robert asked. He really had had enough of thinking about football.

“Yeah, sure,” Aaron said. “I’ve got a surprise for you actually.”

“What?” Robert asked, tired. He could do with a bath. Or a massage. Or sex. Whichever was on offer.

“I’ve booked us a hotel room,” Aaron said. “So we can celebrate today.”

Robert perked up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I’m proud of you. I can’t even imagine how difficult today was for you.”

“It was hard,” Robert said. “It was also worth it. Come on, take me to this hotel.”

“Don’t you have to hang around?” Aaron asked. “Journalists or something?”

“I’m not going to,” Robert said. “I’ve done enough today. And I want to get you naked.”

“Do you now?” Aaron said with a teasing smile.

* * *

 

Robert had to admit, this was an excellent idea of Aaron’s. He was currently lying naked in crisp cotton bed sheets, a glass of champagne in one hand, his muscles aching in the good way after having rode Aaron for as long as his thighs could stand.

“You look happy,” Aaron said, coming out of the bathroom, a towel around his hips.

“I am,” Robert said. “Get in bed.” Aaron smiled, doing just that, pressing a kiss to Robert’s bare shoulder. “Thanks for today.”

“I wanted to be here for you. Could have done without fifty thousand people in the stadium trying to get a good look at me, but…”

“If you wanted someone with no attention, you’ve picked the wrong man,” Robert said. “But I am grateful.”

“Love you,” Aaron said, kissing him gently.

“Chuck me the remote,” Robert said. “I want to watch match of the day.” Aaron rolled his eyes, but passed it to Robert who put the TV on, volume low while they waited for it to start.

“I think Louise had a point,” Robert said, stroking Aaron’s hair.

“About what?”

“Posting more pictures on instagram.”

Aaron frowned, not following that at all. “Robert, come on.”

“We‘re going to get a lot of people wondering about us, wanting to know stuff. At least this way, we’re in control of it.”

“Is that what you want?” Aaron asked.

“I don’t want you to be a bigger deal than if I was with a woman,” Robert said. “But life isn’t like that. And even if it was… Louise knows what it’s like, she was judged for what she wore every day she was with Chris, whether she‘d put weight on, whatever. It’s going to happen.” Robert shrugged. "Plus... I kind of like the idea of sharing who makes me happy."

“Do what you want,” Aaron said easily. “I really don’t care what the world thinks. If it makes you happy, post it.”

“Sure you don’t mind?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I don’t mind.” Aaron shifted in bed. “I do however want sleep.” Aaron closed his eyes and Robert snapped a picture of his relaxed face. Aaron’s lips tilted into a small smile when he heard the camera click. Robert typed a caption on his phone. _Good day with the boyfriend_. He debated with himself for a while before he clicked post, smiling at the picture. He loved looking at Aaron, but Aaron usually got a bit self conscious if Robert stared for too long.

He put his phone on the bedside table and turned the volume up as the news came on. Much to his surprise, he was STILL the top news story. It must have been a slow day. “Robert Sugden, the first footballer to come out in a same sex relationship made his first appearance with his boyfriend Aaron Livesy at his match fixture today.” Robert saw the images of him and Aaron driving into the grounds that morning, the car looking like it was being lynched by photographers. Then the shot changed to Aaron in the crowd briefly before the newscaster went on to the days other news in the bulletin.

Aaron had perked up, hearing his name and they waited for the news to come back to Robert’s “story.” They went to their reporter who’d been at the stadium today, standing in front of an empty pitch after the match.

 _“Today’s match was conducted in a highly charged atmosphere, due to Robert Sugden’s recent revelations. There was more of a focus on the player than usual, and it was important for Yorkshire FC to secure their win, which they did with a 2-1 score line. The match generally passed without incident, though when leaving the stadium there were a few scuffles between opposing fans.”_ The footage cut to what looked like a brawl and Robert flinched. It might be a coincidence, but it had odd timing.

“It’s not your fault,” Aaron said, seeing his face.

"Isn't it?" Robert asked.

 _“Robert Sugden neglected to give an interview after the match, and Phil Standson, the manager refused to release a statement on the issue further than what’s been said.”_ The reporter waffled on and Robert watched as Aaron celebrated the goal with a fist pump and hugging Louise.

“You were relieved,” Robert noticed.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I was. Not for me, but for you.” They both turned their attention back to the TV.

 _“There has been no word from the England team or management,”_ the reported continued. _“I am sure that with the upcoming world cup in Russia next summer, a country with a very bad record on LGBT rights, it remains to be seen if Robert Sugden will play, or will be dropped from the squad.”_   Robert turned the TV off as Aaron looked at him.

“You hadn’t mentioned that,” Aaron said.

“I hadn’t thought of it,” Robert said honestly, though he felt cold. Now that he thought about it, the fact the England manager hadn’t called him wasn’t a good sign. “God, I want to play in the world cup. I’ll be hated if I don’t go because of this."

"Hated?"

"Do you realise the expectation I've got on my shoulders to score in the world cup anyway?" Robert asked.

“It might die down in a couple of months,” Aaron said. Then when Robert didn’t reply. “I didn’t think. Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Robert said. “I wanted to do this. I didn’t want to hide you. I wouldn’t have been able to do it for a few more months. That doesn’t make it less scary.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “Come here.” Aaron planted feather light kisses across his jaw, down his neck and Robert closed his eyes, feeling loved and wanted. And he put the news, the football club, and everything else out of his mind. He just let himself be loved by Aaron, and that was more than enough.

* * *

 

Robert was gathering his few possessions the next morning, as they hadn’t planned a night in a hotel, he wore yesterdays clothes, and he only had a couple of things. He hesitated before bringing up the subject of the bill. “Are you going to let me pay for this?” Robert asked as Aaron zipped up his hoodie.

“For what?”

“The hotel room.”

“Nope,” Aaron said. “I wanted to treat you. It kind of doesn’t have the same effect if you pay.”

“But…” Robert hesitated. He didn’t want to stomp all over Aaron, but it had been a very nice hotel. And Robert was on an insane wage, so why couldn’t he pay?

“Robert, I wanted to spoil you. Let me.”

“Okay,” Robert said, though it was clear it was with great reluctance.

“Go on then,” Aaron said. “Tell me how much you earn.” He knew Robert would be on a crazy pay packet, but he’d not really thought about it before. He'd not asked because it hadn't been relevant.

“I’m on about…” Robert shrugged. “175 grand.”

“A month?”

“No,” Robert said shortly.

“A week?” Aaron said in disbelief. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, it… it’s nothing.” Aaron scoffed. “I mean… the taxman takes a big chunk of it, I’ve got a house that took a bit and… yeah, I know it’s a lot of money, but… I can’t really apologise for it. If the club are stupid enough to pay me that to kick a ball into a net, why wouldn’t I take it?”

“Sorry,” Aaron said. “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything.”

“I know I’m lucky,” Robert said. “I’m saving a bit, because my career won’t last forever, but… yeah. Please let me cover the hotel. I want to.” 

“All right,” Aaron said. “I’m not happy about it.”

“Understood.” Robert pulled him into a kiss, smiling against his lips. “Thank you. I appreciate this.”

“Make it up to me,” Aaron said. “You’ve got a good mouth.”

“And you’re a romantic at heart, right,” Robert said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. They only stopped kissing when Robert’s phone rang. He hadn’t planned on answering it, but it was Vic so he did.

“Yes?”

“Hi,” Vic said. “Are you coming home?”

“Why?” Robert asked, already sensing that Vic was tearful and upset. "What's wrong?"

“It’s dads grave,” she said. “It’s been vandalised.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very Robert focused chapter, so minimal Aaron. Thank you for the support, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

 

Robert didn’t speak on the way back to the village. He also didn’t go home, instead parking outside the cemetery. “Are you all right?” Aaron asked. “Sorry, that’s a stupid question, of course you’re not. Do you want me to go? Do you need me to come in with you? What if…?” Robert covered Aaron’s mouth with his palm to stop him from babbling and Aaron rolled his eyes. “Okay, I’ll shut up,” Aaron said when Robert dropped his hand.

“I don’t know what I want,” Robert said. They were disturbed by Vic knocking on Roberts window. Robert got out of the car and hugged her. “How bad is it?”

“Bad,” Vic said. “I didn’t know… I haven’t reported it to the police. I managed to persuade Andy not to either. I didn’t know if you’d want the attention or would prefer not to.”

“Lets see it first.” Aaron felt like a spare part, but he followed about two steps behind the siblings into the graveyard.

It wasn’t that bad, all things considered. On the drive home, Robert had actually been expecting worse. It was spray paint on the gravestone, but no further damage. _Fag. Perv._ Robert closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to calm down and ignore the rage he felt. “I’m sorry,” Vic said tearfully.

“It’s not your fault,” Robert said, kissing the top of her head. “Report it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I don’t want them to get away with it.”

“Okay,” Vic said. “I’ll call.”

“When they’ve seen it and everything, I’ll clean it up,” Robert said. “It’s my fault it’s there.”

“No it’s not!” Vic said.

“Well, compared to you and Andy, of course it’s my fault. It’s targeted at me.”

“But you didn’t do it,” Vic said indignantly.

“No, Vic,” Robert said tiredly. “Look, thanks for telling me, I’m going home.”

“Are you sure you want it reported?” Vic asked again, she had to.

“Yes,” Robert said. “Thanks, Vic.”

* * *

 

“Okay, you’re worrying me now,” Aaron said. Robert had been silent since leaving the cemetery and that had been nearly three hours ago. He’d been mooching around his house, seeming far away. “Should I go?” Aaron asked. “Leave you to it?”

“No,” Robert said, looking at him. “You’re helping.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Aaron said.

“You being here is helping,” Robert said. He grabbed Aaron’s hand as he passed the sofa. “Trust me, you are helping me.”

“If you’re sure,” Aaron said. “Want to go to the pub tonight? My treat?”

“Yeah, we could,” Robert said. “Actually yes. That sounds like a good idea.” Aaron smiled.

* * *

 

That evening at the pub, villagers glanced in their direction, but otherwise no one made a big fuss. Well, no one apart from Chas. It was perfectly clear that she wasn’t happy with Robert and Aaron, but also that as she’d heard about what had happened with Jack’s grave, that she felt that now would be a poor time to bring it up.

When Chas brought their meals over, Robert decided to speak up. The glares from behind the bar had been winding him up, no matter how much Aaron told him to ignore them. “Chas, I’m not with Aaron to make his life more complicated. I’m with him because I love him.”

“I just wish you’d told me,” Chas said, certainly glaring at Aaron too, who buried himself in his pint. “Finding out on the news wasn’t nice.”

“No,” Robert said. “Neither of us knew how it would go when it all… came out. And I wanted to protect him from journalists for a while.”

“If you hurt him…”

“Cain’ll kill me?” Robert suggested and Aaron snorted with amusement.

“Just make him happy, all right?”

“Thanks Chas,” Robert said, stealing a chip off Aaron’s plate. And the atmosphere eased somewhat. It also helped with Aaron running his foot up Robert’s calf under the table, making him smile.

* * *

Robert chucked the scouring brush against the grave stone in frustration. The spray paint was coming off, but it was slow going. The police had logged the report, photographed the damage, but as there was no CCTV, and they didn’t think it was anyone local, their hopes of catching whoever it was for vandalism were low. Robert didn’t expect anything else really, but he was glad it was hovering around on police files, in case anything more serious happened.

Robert heard footsteps, but he didn’t turn around, instead starting to scrub again. “Go away Aaron. I know you mean well, but I’m better on my own.”

“It’s not Aaron.” Robert turned around and stood up, seeing Chris. He hadn’t expected him in the village at all.

“What are you doing here?” Robert asked.

“I heard on the news what had happened,” Chris said, nodding at the grave. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry or you did it?” Robert asked bitterly.

“Come on, I might not be happy with you, but you know me better than that,” Chris said. “Besides, it’s not my handwriting.” Robert didn’t really believe it was Chris’s handiwork, but he was pissed off and hurting. “I know what you went through with your dad, remember? You can’t think I’d do this.”

“No, I don’t,” Robert agreed, looking down. “But I didn’t think you’d turn against me because of who I was sleeping with either.”

“Fair enough,” Chris said with a shrug, hands buried deep in his pockets. “Look, I might have reacted badly.”

“Mm,” Robert said, not biting. “You’re only saying this because the team decided not to play with you and you lost Louise for being homophobic. You're upset.”

“I’m going to be transferred to another club in January,” Chris said. “You won’t have to deal with me there. But…”

“But what?” Robert asked.

“We still both play for England,” Chris said. “I want us to win this summer. I want England to win the world cup so badly, and I think with this team we can.” Robert privately agreed. The national squad was looking good, and they had a genuine chance.

“Then what do you want from me?” Robert asked. “I’m not going to stop seeing Aaron, I won’t. Plus I’ve not heard from Richard either, so God knows how that’s going to go.” Richard, the England manager had yet to make a call, and as time passed Robert knew that wasn’t a good sign.

“I want to be able to play with you Robert,” Chris said. “Maybe we can’t be friends like we were before, but… we’re both good players.” Chris was underselling it. On the pitch, Chris was a thoughtful considerate player. He might not score much, but he managed to involve the whole team, and he was a key reason why they’d been doing so well.

“I know we need to work together,” Robert said. “I want to win too.”

“Then… maybe we can?” Chris held his hand out, but Robert wasn’t ready yet.

“I’m not going to take any homophobic comments,” Robert said. “I’m not going to take any jibes that try and tell me Aaron’s not a proper relationship. He is very important to me.”

“Look, I don’t like what you’re doing,” Chris said. “But as long as I don’t see it, we can still play.” Robert scoffed and rolled his eyes. That wasn’t really a good solution. “And Rob, I’m calm here, okay? Are you sure he’s not after your money?”

“Chris, don’t…”

“I mean it, and this is me looking out for you,” Chris said earnestly. “I’m assuming he’s the first man you’ve been with.” Robert flicked his eyes in a way that was taken for agreement. “Then how do you know?”

“Because I know him,” Robert said. “He’s not materialistic in the slightest. It’s not about the money, not with him.”

“Okay,” Chris said. “I just want you to be careful.”

“Aaron… he’d be happy with a pint in the pub. He doesn’t want all the fancy stuff.”

“If you say so,” Chris said. Robert nodded, not needing to make a bigger deal of this than necessary. Because one thing Chris had right was the fact they needed to get along. Giving the England team the choice between either of them would be detrimental. They needed to play well, even if personally they argued. “Do you need a hand?” Chris asked, looking at the gravestone.

“No,” Robert said. “I’m good, thanks.” Chris nodded again, and Robert decided to offer the olive branch. He held out his hand and Chris shook it. “It wasn’t me. Who made the complaint to the club about you.”

“I didn’t think it was,” Chris said. "Not your style."

“But I’m not sorry,” Robert said. “You shouldn’t have said those disgusting things. And probably worse that I didn’t hear.”

“Well, it’s cost me, hasn’t it?” Chris said, shrugging. “See you in the summer.”

“Yeah,” Robert agreed.

“And… take care of Lou.”

“I will,” Robert said. Chris trudged out of the cemetery, and Robert watched him leave. They may not agree on everything, but a ceasefire being reached between them could only be a good thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might skip ahead to the World Cup, I'm not sure. What would you guys like to see?


	27. Chapter 27

Aaron woke up abruptly to something hitting his nose. “What the…?”

“Sorry,” Robert said. “I didn’t mean to hit you.”

“Why’re you chucking stuff at me?” Aaron asked, sitting up and trying to blink himself awake. Robert’s face suddenly filled his vision, all smiles and freckles, and he kissed him. Aaron let himself sink into such a beautiful soft kiss, smiling when Robert pulled back. 

“Happy Birthday.” Robert chucked Aaron a birthday card and Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Who told you it was today?”

“No one,” Robert said. “Don’t put stuff on facebook you don’t want others reading.” Aaron rolled his eyes, but took the card anyway.

“I don’t want a fuss, Robert. Anyway, aren’t you playing today?”

“Yeah, but,” Robert said with a shrug. “You can have your gift tomorrow.”

“Why? What's tomorrow?”

“Open it,” Robert said, nodding at the card. Aaron could tell he was nervous, even though he was hiding it well. Aaron ran his fingers through Robert’s hair before opening the envelope. It was a standard card, but a gift certificate fell out.

“Rally driving?” Aaron asked in surprise.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “If you want to. If we want to.”

“That sounds amazing!” Aaron said enthusiastically.

“Really?” Robert asked.

“Yeah, of course!” Aaron said.

“I didn’t know what to get you,” Robert said. “I know that you wouldn’t want me to go over the top and be stupidly lavish, but I still wanted to…” Aaron covered his mouth with two fingers to shut him up.

“That sounds great,” Aaron said, meaning it.

“Yeah, well I might even let you beat me,” Robert said. “Call it a birthday treat.”

“Rob, if I beat you, it’ll be because I’m better than you,” Aaron challenged.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Robert looked at the clock. “I have to go.”

“I know,” Aaron said. He had an away fixture, though it was only about fifty miles away, so it wasn’t an over night stay. Aaron watched as Robert dressed, enjoying the view.

“I do have something else for you, actually,” Robert said, putting his jacket on. He wasn’t looking at Aaron which meant he was disconcerted. Robert put his hand in his pocket and found a key, which he passed to Aaron.

“A key…”

“For the house,” Robert said. “I want to ask you to move in with me, but I thought you’d probably bolt. So… I thought a key might be good instead.”

“Hang on,” Aaron said, a bit shocked. “You want me to move in with you? Here?”

“Well, I’d happily with you at your mums,” Robert said. “But it’d be cramped, and as we’ve got the space here…”

“Happily?” Aaron questioned, amused at the mental image of Chas and Robert living together.

“Okay, not happily,” Robert conceded. “But I’d have done it. I just want to be with you, Aaron.”

“Robert, most of my stuff is here. I spend every night up here anyway.” Robert’s face lit up.

“You want to?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Why does that surprise you?”

“It doesn’t,” Robert said. “I just… didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

“Come here.” Robert leaned over the bed and kissed Aaron gently. “I’ll be here when you get home, okay?”

“Sounds perfect.”

* * *

 

About a month later Robert was in one of the darkest moods Aaron had ever seen him in. He’d barely grunted when he’d got home, just dropped his kit bag, threw his car keys in the direction of the kitchen table and went upstairs for a shower. Aaron gave him maybe two minutes before following him, only slightly warily. Aaron knew why he was pissed, he’d watched the match on the TV. He;d lost before, Robert couldn't win every match he played, but this one was different, more important.

Robert massaged the shampoo into his scalp rather aggressively. He couldn’t bear to lose. But especially when it was an FA cup match, an all or nothing match, something he couldn’t correct for a year. A 1-0 loss was Robert’s most hated score line. Because 1-0 meant he’d had it within his control to turn it into a draw at the very least. One right move, one better placed kick, and he wouldn’t be feeling this bitter. 

Robert turned when he heard Aaron knocking on the shower door. “Want company?” he asked.

“I’m not in a good mood,” Robert warned, and Aaron snorted.

“Yeah, I got that message,” Aaron said, taking his T shirt off. “Can I join you or not?” Robert slid back the glass in answer and Aaron continued to strip before stepping under the water. Aaron wrapped his arms around Robert’s waist, keeping him close.

“God, you’re tense,” Aaron said, looking at him as well as he could under the running water.

“Got knocked out of the FA cup today,” Robert said shortly. “Yeah. Tense covers it.”

“Wanna relax?” Aaron asked suggestively. Robert knew what he meant and he nodded once, closing his eyes as Aaron’s palms stroked against his abdomen, moving lower. Robert rocked his hips as Aaron gripped him, a little too loosely, too slowly for Robert’s tastes.

“Come on,” he urged.

“I’m trying to fuck the bad mood out of you,” Aaron said, making Robert let out a brief laugh in surprise as Aaron kissed behind his ear. “Let me be in charge, okay?”

“Fine.” Robert moaned as Aaron’s thumb started rubbing against him.

“Bear with me,” Aaron said, kissing Robert’s shoulder. He got out of the shower to grab the lube and Robert grinned.

* * *

 

“Stop being miserable,” Aaron said, rolling onto his side to look at Robert. “After that performance, I should at least get a smile.”

“Well, I don’t want to punch a wall anymore,” Robert said. “That’s a vast improvement.”

“I’m sorry you lost,” Aaron said seriously.

“Yeah, I know,” Robert said. “I’ve been wanting to ask you… will you come with me to Russia?” Robert asked. “I don’t want to go to the World Cup without you there with me.”

“I kinda… I assumed I was coming with you,” Aaron said. “Maybe I shouldn’t but… we’ll have been together a year by then. Or as good as. I thought… I thought you might want me there.”

“I’m glad,” Robert said, with a soft smile. “I do want you there. It might not always be easy, but…”

“I know,” Aaron said softly. “I get it. And I want to be there for you too.”

“I think it’s my last one,” Robert said.

“What?!” Aaron asked in surprise. “You could play into your early thirties. Plenty do.”

“I don’t think my leg is going to hold up another four years of playing,” Robert said honestly. “Not at this level. This is my last shot.”

“Better make it count then,” Aaron said after a moments pause.

“If…” Robert paused. “I just need to say this, okay? If England lose, and we’re out in the group stages… it won’t change things between us, right?”

“You know it won’t,” Aaron said seriously.

“When England lose big tournaments, the press… it makes life difficult for a while. I don’t want you suddenly deciding you can’t hack it and to storm off.”

“Robert, I love you,” Aaron said. “Whatever they print’s not going to change that. I’m not going to promise I’ll always take it gracefully, but I’m not going anywhere either.”

“I love you too,” Robert said, kissing him before curling up next to him, their bodies touching gently. “Do you think about the future?”

“Sometimes,” Aaron said. “I don’t really want to be working at Cain’s garage for the rest of my life. I don’t know. Sometimes I just look at the next few days and leave it at that.” They both fell silent. ”Why?” Aaron asked suddenly.

“Mm?” Robert asked. “Oh. Because I do think about the future. A lot.”

“Why does that sound ominous?” Aaron asked, twisting in Robert’s arms so he could see his face.

“Not ominous,” Robert said. “I just… I always think of you in my future.”

“Are you going all soft on me?” Aaron said and Robert smiled.

“Just thinking. Thanks.”

“For what?”

“Calming me down.”

“Nah, I wanted sex anyway,” Aaron said, offhand. Robert laughed.


	28. Chapter 28

Robert was flying out to Russia two weeks before Aaron did. Robert had to go with the team, to start training, get acclimatised to the pitches and all that rubbish Aaron didn’t really care about.  
There would be press at the airport, so they’d both decided they’d say goodbye at home, and they had been all morning in bed. Robert was now dressed in a suit, apparently the manager wanted the team to make a good impression. Robert had left off the tie though, and two buttons lose at the throat. It had already made Aaron pull him back into bed once. He just looked far too good.

“Have I made you late?” Aaron asked, rolling onto his side in bed and watching while Robert adjusted his jacket.

“No,” Robert said. “I thought we might have er… an extended goodbye.” Aaron laughed under his breath.

“I’m really going to miss you,” Aaron said.

“You’re coming along a bit later,” Robert said. Then he looked at Aaron when he didn’t get a reply. “Tell me you’re coming to Russia.”

“Yeah, course,” Aaron said. “Free hotel mini bar, innit.”

“Among other attractions I hope,” Robert said.

“I don’t know which is better,” Aaron said slowly. “You in that suit, or your thighs in football shorts.” He grinned easily.

“Oh, glad I can put on a show for you,” Robert said, smirking at him.

“I’ve er… I went to the same guy who measured you for your suit. I’ve got a tailored one. It fits… rather well, even if I say so myself.”

Robert’s eyes darkened with lust. “And you’re telling me this what? Five minutes before I leave?” Aaron chuckled.

“Shall we call it incentive?” Aaron got out of bed and held Robert close by his waist, both of them ignoring that Robert was fully dressed and Aaron didn’t have a stitch on. “Just try and win.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“I love you,” Aaron said, kissing him slowly.

“Love you too.”

Aaron allowed his insecurities to show for just a little bit. “Just… don’t meet someone else. Some… beautiful woman who’ll turn your head, or…” Aaron started.

“I’m not going to meet anyone else,” Robert reassured him. “But I do have to go.”

“So go.” Robert kissed him slowly, then grabbed his bag before double checking his passport.  
“I’ll see you in a couple of weeks,” Aaron said.

“Yes,” Robert agreed. “Bye, Aaron.” Robert kissed his cheek and left. Aaron went to the window and he watched as Robert got into his car. This was stupid. It was a couple of weeks, then Aaron basically had a free holiday. That was the way to look at it, obviously. Robert looked up at the window, and even from here, Aaron could see that smirk on his face. Aaron rolled his eyes as Robert drove off, and sat on the edge of the bed, thinking. The next month might very well change things forever. Aaron just hoped it went well, whatever the result on the pitch.

* * *

Robert had gone through the normal rigmarole of the press, and once he was sat on the plane, he felt much happier. He didn’t have to put his face on to show the world. Richard, the manager of the national team approached him on the plane.

“Robert, how are you?” Richard asked. And he wasn’t one for small talk either, so Robert decided to cut to the chase.

“What do you want?”

“Is your er… “

“Aaron,” Robert said, filling the uncomfortable silence.

“Yes,” Richard said. “Is he coming?”

“I notice you’re not asking everyone else if their wives or girlfriends are coming,” Robert said.

“Their other half’s aren’t going to get the press attention like Aaron will,” Richard said. “And you know it.”

“Yes, he’s coming,” Robert said. “And if you advise me to tell him to stay at home, I won’t play.”

“Robert, don’t be like that,” Richard said. “I just need you to be aware it’s going to be difficult.”

“I know it’s going to be difficult,” Robert said. “But it changes nothing. I need him here. There’ll be pressure either way, there always is when we play, and I need him. Sorry, but I do.”

“Okay,” Richard said. “I do want him to have extra security though. He’s going to attract a lot of extra attention because he’s the first…” he tailed off, and Robert knew what he was getting at, even if Richard wasn’t being exactly tactful about it.

“Yeah, I agree with that,” Robert said. “I’ve been working on persuading him to have a couple of security guards, but Aaron’s not budging.” Richard looked at him curiously so Robert continued. “He’s not really… a fan of being the center of attention.” 

Richard laughed. “He does realise that he’s with someone who’s going to give him the most attention in the country over the next month, right?”

“Trust me, that’s a serious negative point of my attractions for him,” Robert said. Richard nodded once. “Why did you never call?” Robert asked. “When Aaron’s face was over every newspaper, when the news channels were discussing whether I could still play football while sleeping with a man. You never said anything.”

Richard shrugged. “I didn’t call Gary when he started dating a former escort and that got broadcast over all the papers too. It’s your life. It’s not really any of my business as long as you can kick a ball into a net, is it?”

“Thanks,” Robert said, sincerely. “It might not work like that in reality, but…”

“We’ll see, won’t we?” Richard said. “Just… lets not have an embarrassing world cup like last time.”

“Now that, I could not agree with you more.”

* * *

 

After a couple of days Aaron moved back into the pub. He hadn’t wanted to stay up at Roberts, (or theirs, Aaron guessed now) because without Robert there… it felt wrong. The loneliness was already starting to eat away at him. Chas might talk too much, fuss too much, but she was a presence, a distraction, and he needed that.

The day Robert left, there was a bit of faff on the news about the team leaving for Russia, photographers in the airport, but otherwise it had been quiet in the press. Thankfully. As far as Aaron was concerned, quiet was good. Though, as the days ticked by, Aaron was starting to get nervous for Robert. He spoke to Robert every night, and Robert sounded a mixture of excited, nervous and tired. But it always felt so good to hear his voice.

* * *

Aaron was packing, and he couldn’t find his passport. A flaw in the “go to Russia to support Robert” plan. He was getting worried and he went up to Home Farm to have a search for it. But when he opened Robert’s bedside draw he found something he hadn’t expected. Aaron found a small box, and curiosity got the better of him. He opened it. Aaron let out a breath and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at two simple rings. He wasn’t stupid, he knew they were engagement rings. He stroked the band gently, but his mind was running at a hundred miles an hour.

Robert had spoken about the future a couple of months back. And every now and then, he’d say something, a comment that made Aaron glow inside, because it meant that Robert thought they were solid, in a good place. Aaron had got a feeling that something like this had crossed Robert’s mind, but neither of them had said anything and Aaron wasn’t opposed to the idea at all. He actually… quite liked the idea of having Robert in his life for good, permanently. But what worried Aaron was that… Robert hadn’t taken the rings with him. They’d be waiting for them when they both got back from Russia. What, was them being together for good, was that dependent on how well the England team did? Because that felt really unfair. That felt… not right. Aaron loving Robert wasn’t dependent on how many goals he scored. Surely Robert should know that by now? 

Aaron closed the box with a snap and continued to look for his passport, which he found in the kitchen draw (God knows why) and that left him to mull over those rings. Why had Robert bought them and then… not taken them with him? It didn’t make sense. Aaron wasn’t going to be able to work this out in his mind now, so he picked up both the ring box and his passport before going back to the pub.

* * *

 

“What’s wrong?” Chas asked, sitting opposite Aaron in the backroom.

“Why would anything be wrong?” Aaron said.

“Because most days you’re counting down the minutes until Robert calls,” Chas said, rolling her eyes. “Tonight you ignored his call.”

“Because…” Aaron stopped, thinking through his words. “Because I don’t know what to say to him right now.”

Chas paused. “Has something happened? Has he done something?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Robert’s done nothing. He’s in a different country, what could he do from a couple of thousand miles away?”

“I wouldn't like to find out,” Chas said. Aaron’s phone rang again, and they both saw Robert’s number. Aaron ignored it, letting it run through to answer phone. “Now I’m worried,” Chas said. “If you don’t want to talk to him, maybe going to a different country with twenty thousand reporters might not be the best move.”

“No, I’m going,” Aaron said determined. “I just… not sure if I want to talk to Robert on the phone. I can read so much in his face and the way he touches me. Sorry,” he added at Chas’s raised eyebrows.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“If I do,” Aaron said. “You can’t talk. No one can know.”

“We’re not talking about… I’m not expecting a knock on the door from the old bill, are we?”

“God no,” Aaron said.

“Well, I never know with you, do I?” Chas said. “Go on.”

“I er… when I was looking for my passport, I found… Robert had two engagement rings in his bedside table.” Chas’s face was a picture of surprise, eyes wide and mouth in an “O” of shock.

“And… you don’t want that?” she said tentatively.

“No, it’s not that,” Aaron said. “The fact is… I found the rings **_here_**. He didn’t take them with him.”

“Oh,” Chas said. “I see. And you’re… disappointed?” Now that Chas had said it, Aaron realised that yes. That was exactly how he felt. He felt disappointed that it seemed Robert wasn’t sure about him, that maybe Robert had some reservations. Because Aaron didn’t. He didn’t have one single hesitation when it came to Robert.

“Yeah, I am,” Aaron said. “I didn’t think…” Aaron hesitated. He didn’t do in depth conversations into his feelings like this, and he certainly didn’t do them with his mother. Paddy usually filled that role. “After Jackson, I never thought I’d find someone. That I’d ever get to feel like this.”

Chas smiled at him softly. "I can't give you advice," she said. "More than... talk to him."

"I don't know, mum," Aaron said. He bit his lip hard, thinking. Chas squeezed his hand, but left him to it as Aaron's phone rang yet again.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter here, but it needed it's own space. Enjoy!

Robert slept poorly. He hadn’t been able to get Aaron on the phone all night, and it meant he worried. He’d been on the verge of calling Chas, but guessed that was probably overkill. Maybe Aaron had lost his phone, hadn’t charged it, was busy at the garage, had been hanging out with Adam. A million logical reasons. But that didn’t make it easier to sleep alone, not knowing where Aaron was and how he was doing.

When he gave up on sleep the next morning, he called Aaron while he was still in bed. Aaron picked up, sounding groggy and Robert suddenly remembered that Russia was two hours ahead. “…yeah?”

“It’s me,” Robert said. “I got worried last night.” Then he realised how needy and pathetic that probably sounded.

“Yeah, sorry,” Aaron said. “I was thinking through some stuff.”

“Oh?” Robert asked. There was a heavy pause on the phone line. “Thinking about what? You’re… coming tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, though he didn’t sound convinced. “I said I would and I am.”

“What is it?”

“I er…” Aaron cleared his throat. “Okay, I couldn’t find my passport, so I was going through your stuff. I wasn’t prying. I found…” Aaron tailed off and it clicked for Robert.

“You found the rings, didn’t you?” Robert said heavily.

“Yes,” Aaron said. “Sorry, but I did.”

“It’s all right,” Robert said. “I didn’t really hide them. I don’t really know what to say, though.”

“Start with why you bought them,” Aaron said.

“I thought that’d be self explanatory,” Robert said.

“Yeah, I do get the point,” Aaron said. “But they’re here. They’re sitting in a draw back in Emmerdale. You didn’t take them with you.”

“No, I didn’t,” Robert agreed. “I wanted them waiting for me… for us when we got back home.”

“Why?”

“Aaron, this is work,” Robert said. “It might be one of the oddest jobs, but… this isn’t for fun. If we win, that _will_ be fun, but… I wanted…” Robert suddenly felt very emotional. “I didn’t want to do this over the phone.”

“Robert…”

“I wanted it to be something special for just us,” Robert said. “I had… I had a plan.”

“Go on, then,” Aaron said, and Robert smiled, hearing the amusement in his tone. “Tell me more about your plan.”

Robert sighed. “It’s kind of lost it’s shine now, hasn’t it?”

“Dunno,” Aaron grunted. “I’ll tell you in five minutes when you've explained it.”

“I thought you might run,” Robert said. “So I was thinking… carefully about how to do it. After. After the world cup.”

“You seem to be under the impression that I scare easily,” Aaron said quietly. “You said the same with moving in. I’m not running, Robert. If I’m running, I’ll be running towards you, not away.”

“I love you so much,” Robert said, letting him feel every inch of it through his body.

“I want to hear about your plan.”

“No,” Robert said.

“Why?” Aaron asked, sounding indignant.

“Because I might still do it,” Robert said. “When we’re home.”

“Where’s this “might” coming from?” Aaron asked.

“We’ll see how the next few matches go,” Robert said, losing the jokey tone.

“Robert, me being with you is not dependent on how well you play.”

“I know that,” Robert said. “But I’m nervous and… I just need to know how it’s going to go first. Even if that doesn’t make sense.” Aaron sighed. “Just give me a few more weeks. Can you do that?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, then sighed heavily. “God, I wanna kiss you.”

“Oh?” Robert smirked, hoping from the flirty tone that this might head in a certain way.

“Do you want phone sex, is that what you’re after?” Aaron teased.

“I’m not going to say no,” Robert said, laughing. “If it’s on offer.”

“I think you might have to be patient until I get off the plane.”

“Spoil sport.” Aaron laughed.

“How’s training going?”

“Hard, but good,” Robert said. “Could use one of your massages right about now.”

“We both know where that would lead,” Aaron said.

“I see no problem there,” Robert said. “My left calf… hurts a bit,” he admitted.

“Have the…”

“Yeah, the teams doctors keep having a look at me and they say I’ll be fine. But I trust your touch more than theirs.”

“I’ll feel you up in a couple of days,” Aaron said. “I promise. How bad is it really?”

“I’m just complaining,” Robert said. “Ignore me. Tell me about the garage, work. Give me some normal.”

“Sure?”

“Yes,” Robert said. And Aaron did.

* * *

Aaron was packed, he’d sorted out all his things, and he was ready to leave. Chas looked at his suitcase with pursed lips, silently disapproving. “You don’t have to go.”

“I want to,” Aaron said. “I’ve missed Robert like mad, I need to see him.”

“Just… take it easy, okay. I don’t want the press to wind you up and you to lose your temper. It'll only make everything a million times worse.”

“I’m not going to lose my temper,” Aaron said. “Think of all the free football I’m going to get to see.”

“If you’re sure,” Chas said. Aaron nodded and hugged his mum, them being interrupted by a knock on the door.

“That’ll be John.” Out of all the options Robert had given him, Aaron picked John to be his security. While Aaron didn’t like needing security guards, he knew Robert had a point. And John, while he’d been at Robert’s first match since going public, he’d been a quiet solid presence, not nosey or interfering. Rather than someone he didn’t know, Aaron preferred the choice of someone he recognised, someone who’d been with him whenever he watched Robert play.

Sure enough, it was John and he looked at Aaron. “Ready?” he asked, picking up the waiting suitcase.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “Yeah, I am.”

* * *

 

Aaron relaxed a little when he was sat on the plane. He had everything he needed. He’d packed his suit, and when he pressed his hand against his pocket, he could feel the ring box, safe and secure. And Aaron smiled.


	30. England V Tunisia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've used the teams that England are lined up for this summers World Cup, and I've also relied on rankings going through the tournament. But the scores / match line ups are my own, and I hope it works out! Also, I know that in reality, Robert and Aaron would be moving around to different locations and stadiums, but for the purposes of this fic, I'm going to keep them in one place, hope that's okay!

Aaron settled in to his hotel room, glad to be here, finally. Robert was busy with the team, so he didn’t expect to see him until later tonight, but he was much closer, and that could only be a good thing.

“Are you going to leave the hotel this afternoon?” the security guard asked pleasantly.

“Er… no,” Aaron said to John. “Thanks.

“Righto. Just give me a call if you need me,” John said.

“I will,” Aaron said, happy when the door closed behind him and he could be alone. It was a nice hotel, very nice. He lay down on the bed and sighed with contentment, because the mattress was comfortable too. He went through to the bathroom and saw a free standing bath and a separate shower which he intended to make use of. It was spacious and luxurious, and Aaron knew he was going to have a nice break here, even though it wasn’t strictly a holiday.

* * *

Aaron woke up, hearing the hotel door click softly and he smiled into his pillow but otherwise didn’t move. He knew exactly who it would be and he tried to keep a straight face as Robert kicked his shoes off and lifted the duvet, curling around Aaron.

“Aaron’s sleeping,” Aaron murmured.

“Oh really?”, Robert asked. “Because judging by the way you’re pressing your arse into my crotch, I think that’s doubtful.” Aaron laughed easily.

“I’ve missed you.”

“Mm,” Robert said, pressing light kisses to his neck. “Me too.” Aaron twisted in his arms to face him, and saw his smiling face.

“Lube?”

“Impatient,” Aaron said, though he was smiling. “I thought you didn’t have sex before match days?”

“I’ve not seen you in two weeks,” Robert said. “I want to fuck you. Hold your knees.”

“Oh, sure, when you spout romantic lines like that,” Aaron said sarcastically. Robert laughed into his neck. “Top draw.”

“Aaron, I’ve really missed you,” Robert said seriously, stroking his face gently.

“I know,” Aaron said. “Are you ready for the match?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said seriously. “I won’t know until I’m on the pitch. And… then we’ll see.”

“I want you to win,” Aaron said seriously. “But if you don’t, it doesn’t matter to me. You know that?”

“I do,” Robert said. “I know that. Thank you.” Robert pressed a soft lingering kiss to Aaron’s lips. “I want you. Is that…?” Aaron pushed his fingers under the hem of Robert’s shirt, stroking his stomach which Robert took for his answer. “You’re in good shape,” Aaron said, palm running across his muscles.

“Don’t get used to it,” Robert said. “After the tournament I’m eating full English breakfasts every day.” Aaron grinned. “You might have to get used to me being an overweight slob.”

Aaron rolled his eyes at the dramatics. “I’ll be here,” Aaron said. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

 

Robert woke up with a huge rush of nerves. The match was an evening kick off, so he had all day to work himself up, and hopefully lose a few of his pre match jitters. Aaron still slept next to him and Robert resisted the urge to stroke his face, because it would most likely disturb him. He really was a beautiful man. Robert looked at his phone and smiled, to see a text from Louise. She’d landed safely, and he was glad. Louise was coming to watch the matches too, and as far as Robert was concerned, he needed all the support and good will he could get. The England press was currently all for the England team, hopes and expectations and all that rubbish. But Robert knew that if they started losing, it would flip so quickly. And having Louise here was a help to him, it reassured him.

He went and had a slow shower, testing his body as he did so. He wanted to check everything was in working order. His left calf was a little stiff, but beyond that, he felt fit and healthy for the match. He desperately wanted this to go well. He wanted to win.

* * *

Aaron met Louise at the stadium, the private area for “players guests.” She looked windswept and very happy as she gave Aaron a hello hug. “How is he?”

“I think he’s going to play well,” Aaron said. “He’s in a good mood.”

“You’re nervous,” Louise noticed.

“Why do you say that?”

“You keep biting your bottom lip, and your eyes are darting around.”

“I’ve barely seen him today,” Aaron said honestly. “He’s been busy with the team and… yeah, I am nervous.”

“He’ll do fine,” Louise said. “Even if he loses this match, it won’t be the end of the tournament so he’ll be fine. Just determined.” Aaron looked at Louise and realised she’d gone through this with Robert before.

“You’re right,” Aaron said. “Of course you are.” They both turned around as a lot of the crowd of guests of both teams started to take their seats in the stadium.

“Ready?” Louise asked. Aaron nodded, though he wasn’t sure who was more nervous, himself or Robert.

* * *

 

The noise from the crowd in the stadium had reached fever pitch. Robert knew that there was nothing quite like a world cup match. No other competition, no other game managed to get this kind of electric atmosphere. Chris led the team out onto the pitch, and Robert took several deep breaths. He didn’t know why he was feeling the extra pressure, most of the media had avoided mentioning Aaron and the first same sex relationship in English football. Mostly because the newspaper journalists might be bastards, but they also wanted England to win. As soon as they started losing, Robert expected the pressure to be upped significantly. This wasn’t his home ground, so he had no idea where Aaron was, but he knew Aaron would be watching, and he felt braver.

At the thirty ninth minute, England scored. Robert passed the ball to Chris who took aim and sweetly curled the ball into the corner of the net. It was a beautiful goal and Robert felt some of his lingering resentment of Chris fade as Chris slapped him on the back, grinning from ear to ear. One nil up! He could almost hear Aaron’s sigh of relief.

It had all been going so well up until the last five minutes of the match. Tunisia scrapped around with the ball, six players in the box, and it ended up crossing over the line. A messy, unsatisfying goal, but it still counted. One-one. Robert felt the roll of disappointment creeping up his spine as the final whistle blew, and he realised they hadn’t won the match. A draw. God, and they’d had it within their grasp too!

* * *

 

Aaron cursed at the final whistle, watching Robert’s face on the big screen. He was disappointed, gutted. Aaron knew that just at the quick image that Robert wouldn’t sleep tonight. Aaron didn’t want to linger.

“I’m going back to the hotel,” Aaron told Louise. He’d agreed with Robert that he wouldn’t hang around the stadium after the match, and that Robert would meet him there, after press conferences, depending on the result.

“Treat him gently,” Louise said.

“What do you think I’m going to do?” Aaron asked, annoyed.

“I don’t know, but Robert gets… overly obsessed during a tournament and…” she tailed off and shrugged. “Tell him he can call me if he needs me.” Aaron nodded in agreement before leaving the stadium, John following just behind him.

* * *

 

Robert almost slammed the door shut and Aaron looked up at him. “At least you didn’t lose,” Aaron tried.

“Yeah,” Robert said heavily. “But it was so close!”

“You’re not out yet, it was your first match,” Aaron said. “Come here.” Robert did, but frowned when Aaron started stripping him of his jacket and shirt.

“Not in the mood, Aaron.”

“A massage, Robert,” Aaron said. “I’m not about to jump you. Lay down.” Robert’s muscles were a little sore and he couldn’t deny a massage sounded good, Aaron’s hands on him even better, so he did what Aaron asked, stripping off until he was just in his underwear, lying down and resting his head on folded arms. Aaron’s hands started working the muscles in his back and Robert moaned softly.

“God, that feels good.” 

Aaron smirked. “Good to know I have my uses.” Aaron continued rubbing his skin. “You played well.”

“But we didn’t win.”

“No,” Aaron agreed. “Legs?”

“Please,” Robert said. Aaron carefully started rubbing his thighs and Robert sighed, losing himself to pleasure. “You’re wasted as a mechanic. You’re so good at this.”

“You want me touching up random strangers?” Aaron asked.

“That’s a good point,” Robert said, smiling. He turned his head and looked at Aaron, and Aaron got the silent message. He leaned over and kissed Robert gently, letting their lips linger. “I love you. You make everything better.”

“You didn’t lose, that’s the important thing," Aaron said.

“Yeah, I know. Look forward to Panama then?" Robert suggested.

“You’ll smash it.”

“I might not,” Robert said.

“I’ve got faith in you.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Robert said.

“Yeah, you do,” Aaron said. He kissed him again. “Panama then.”


	31. England v Panama

They had a week before the next match. In the meantime there was a team dinner, with certain Russian counterparts, to ease the tensions between English Russian relations. Or that was the story, anyway. There was probably going to be a hundred people at the dinner, maybe more. Every team member, their plus ones, the coaches, management… yeah, the guest list was a big one. And Aaron was terrified. There would by necessity be a lot of attention on him, because he was the odd one out. He didn't exactly fit the "footballers wife" tag.

Aaron smoothed down his suit and looked in the bathroom mirror of the hotel room. He thought he looked good. But even looking at his reflection, he looked nervous. He puffed his breath out slowly, trying to look more confident and not entirely sure it was succeeding. Robert knocked on the bathroom door.

“You ready?” he asked, opening the door.

“I’ve no idea,” Aaron said. He turned to see Robert, looking like a model, tall, fit and impeccably dressed. But he saw Robert looking at him with almost the same expression, eyes scanning his body very slowly.

“Wow.”

“I’ll do?” Aaron asked, unable to deny that Robert looking at him like that was a massive ego boost. Robert reached for him, his large palms gripping his hips and holding him still.

“We don’t have to go,” Robert said, half joking. “I’m just going to undress you really slowly and we'll enjoy ourselves.”

“You like it?”

“It makes the suit you wore to Andy and Katies wedding pale in comparison,” Robert said seriously. Aaron remembered the way Robert had looked at him then, struggling with his attraction to a man, but wanting him anyway. It was a good memory.

“We should go, we’re going to be late,” Aaron said, enjoying Robert’s hands and eyes on him anyway.

“I mean it,” Robert said. “We don’t have to go to the dinner. If it makes you uncomfortable, we won’t go.”

“Robert, you have to go,” Aaron said. “I know it’s important.”

“You’re _more_ important,” Robert said. “I’d get it in the neck from Richard, but… I’ll skip it if you want,” he said lightly.

Aaron looked at him, considering, then hearing the truth in what he said. “You would, wouldn’t you?”

“Course.”

“You’d skip it for me,” Aaron said. “So I’ll go for you.” Robert’s face lit up, and Aaron knew it mattered to him. They had to go, and while Aaron could think of better ways to spend an evening, he wanted to go for Robert. Robert, beaming, moved forward and kissed him.

Aaron felt the love he felt for Robert so clearly, the feeling completely overwhelming him and he couldn’t hold it in any more. He’d been thinking of nothing else for days and he hadn’t exactly thought about how he would do it. Aaron twisted his head, parting their lips.

“Marry me, Robert,” Aaron whispered. Robert’s eyes popped open in surprise and he frowned.

“But… I…” Aaron reached into his jacket pocket, finding the ring box that he never left alone for long. He liked carrying it like a solid small reminder, even though he hadn’t exactly planned how he’d propose. Aaron opened the box.

“They’re mine!” Robert said, not expecting to see them.

“Ours, I hope,” Aaron corrected, lips twitching as he opened the box.

“But… I wanted to do it properly,” Robert said, still frowning.

“Not in a Russian hotel bathroom?” Aaron said. “Careful. I might start to think you’re rejecting me. You still haven’t said anything.” Aaron started feeling more nervous and less sure of himself.

“Are you really asking me…?” Robert said, lips twitching.

“Yes,” Aaron said. “Unless the answers no, in which case we’ll forget I said anything and just go to the dinner.”

“I love you so much,” Robert said, eyes glistening. “Of course I’m saying yes.”

“Yeah?” Aaron asked, biting into his bottom lip.

“Why wouldn't I?” Both men grinned into another kiss, smiling so widely that it was more a bump of lips than anything else. Aaron took Robert’s ring out of the box and pushed it on his finger, darting a glance up at his eyes. Robert moved to do the same thing.

“Oh no,” Robert said, looking at the ring with disappointment. “It’s too big.”

“It’s fine,” Aaron said, clenching his fist. It wasn’t, it was rather loose, and not even in a way it could be got away with either.

“I’ll have it resized when we get home,” Robert promised. Robert tilted Aaron’s chin up and kissed him, deeply. Aaron arched his body into it, feeling everything with that kiss. He was breathless when he pulled away.

“We’re going to be really late,” Aaron said.

“Take it off,” Robert said, nodding to the ring. “I’ll sort it, but…”

“The press?” Aaron asked. “It’s okay, I get it.”

“Yeah?” Robert asked.

“You know I do.” Aaron straightened his shirt, and Robert “helped” running his hands up and down Aaron’s body. They were both put together and ready to leave in moments. Aaron tucked the ring box back in his jacket.

“Until we’re ready?” Robert suggested and Aaron nodded once.

“Come on.” Robert put a protective hand to the small of Aaron’s back as they left the hotel room, as if he needed to be touching him. And Aaron didn’t mind that at all.

* * *

Aaron felt wildly out of place at the dinner. All these rich people, footballers, beautiful women as their dates, he shouldn’t be here. This felt wrong. Robert knew he was uncomfortable, could sense it coming off of him in waves. Aaron hadn’t yet got over the camera flashes as they’d entered the hall in the first place, the white glare in the back of his eyes. Pictures that would be all over the world in minutes. Aaron didn’t know if it was his imagination that there was more of a focus on him and Robert than any other player. There probably was.

“Hey,” Robert said, then leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “You’re the most gorgeous one here.” Aaron rolled his eyes, but he could see from the look on Robert’s face that he meant it. “Two hours and we can cut out of here,” Robert said. “Not a second longer.”

The event was scheduled to go on all night, so Aaron appreciated that a lot. “Thanks.”

John approached them and Robert’s eyes lit up. He handed something to Robert, who tucked it in his jacket pocket. “What’re you up to?” Aaron asked.

“You’ll find out later,” Robert said, far too smugly. Aaron didn’t bother arguing, he knew there was no point. Aaron looked down at Robert’s lips, and Robert knew what he was thinking. “Later,” Robert promised with a wink.

* * *

 

Aaron felt the relief course through him when Robert shut the hotel room door behind them. Alone, finally. Aaron didn’t think he’d ever get used to these events, the way Robert moved with such ease through those kinds of crowds. It was a completely different world.

“Good, I’ve been wanting to get you out of this suit since I saw you in it,” Robert said, palms sliding under the jacket and pushing it off him. Robert kissed into his neck, trying to relax him and it worked.

“I’m glad we’re on our own again,” Aaron said.

“Give me the rings,” Robert said. Aaron pulled the box out, looking at him curiously. Robert took something out of his jacket, and Aaron sighed with understanding. Robert had two chains, and he quickly threaded a ring onto each of them.

“Until we want to go public,” Robert explained. Aaron couldn’t even begin to describe how much he liked the idea, being able to wear his engagement ring, but no one would ever know. Robert slipped the chain over Aaron’s neck and pulled him close for a sensual kiss.

“We’re engaged,” Robert said quietly.

“Yes we are,” Aaron agreed, smiling into yet another kiss.

* * *

Aaron decided he hated watching Robert’s matches. The stress, the nerves, it was really taking the fun out of it. Aaron was currently biting through his bottom lip as he watched Robert play, the match still 0-0 after the first half. They had to beat Panama, they just had to. Robert would feel awful, like he’d gone home in disgrace if they didn’t win this match.

“Come on, Robert,” Aaron muttered.

“You said he was in a winning mood,” Louise said tightly from next to him.

“He is,” Aaron said. It was true. Robert had been in a good mood since they’d got engaged a few days before. The glow hadn’t worn off yet.

“Penalty!” Louise shouted, looking at the pitch. Aaron shook himself out of his stupor to focus on the match, and she was right. Aaron watched the replay and it’d been against Robert. The Panama player had purposefully knocked Robert over, and it looked bad. Aaron instantly looked at the pitch, but Robert had got up, bounced back and he didn’t look injured. He was waiting for the whistle to take his penalty kick, which was being delayed because the crowd were howling. Aaron watched the replay again on the big screen, watching Robert hit the ground.

“Anything you want to tell me?” 

“Eh?” Aaron looked at Louise in confusion. Louise sighed, and pulled down the neck of Aaron’s T shirt, seeing a chain there. Aaron grabbed her wrist as she went to pull it free.

“Don’t!” Aaron said harshly.

“Did I see a ring around Robert’s neck?” Louise asked, in as quiet a voice as she could get away with and still be heard.

“No one knows,” Aaron said. “We want it that way, all right?” It wasn’t obvious from the video footage. Aaron hadn’t seen it, and he was the one who knew exactly what Robert wore around his neck.

“Fine,” she said. “Congratulations.” Aaron allowed himself a small smile. Which thirty seconds later turned into a whoop of delight. Robert had scored.

“Yes!” Aaron shouted, watching Robert celebrate on the pitch. He hugged Louise in celebration. Five minutes later, Robert scored again. England were going to win.


	32. Chapter 32

Robert woke up and groaned. He felt in a lot of pain down his left side. He rolled over and his body ached. “Bloody hell.” He winced as he felt his body.

“All right?” Aaron asked.

“No,” Robert said. “God, this hurts.” Aaron pulled the duvet back and held back his gasp. Robert’s side was mottled with red bruises which would surely turn purple in a day or so.

“What the hell?” Aaron said, looking at the marks on Roberts side with worry.

“That guy who knocked me to the ground,” Robert said, twisting a little. “The pitch wasn’t soft, I landed badly.”

“But you still played,” Aaron said. “After you were hit.”

“Yeah, because I had to. And we won,” he said, a slow smile on his face. “It didn’t hurt so much until this morning, I was concentrating on the match. Chuck me my phone, I’ll call the team physio.” Aaron did and Robert quickly made a call. 

“She’ll be here in a few minutes,” Robert said. “You better get dressed.” Aaron had barely noticed he wasn’t wearing anything and quickly grabbed some clothes.

There was a knock on the door, and Aaron opened it, seeing a pretty blonde woman there, wearing an England jacket and nodding at him. “Robert?”

“Yeah, come in.” 

“Hi Em,” Robert said, propping himself up on the pillows.

“What’s the damage?” she said, looking at his body critically. “You get into a fight?” she asked, seeing the bruising.

“I hit the pitch wrong,” Robert said.

She sighed, seeming long suffering “And you didn’t tell me last night because…?”

“I didn’t feel it til this morning,” Robert said. “Can you just give me some painkillers please?”

“Lets have a look at you.” Aaron watched as this woman touched up his fiancé, feeling a completely unwarranted wave of jealousy crawl up his spine. He knew this woman was just doing her job, but he didn’t like anyone touching Robert who wasn’t him.

“You’ll live,” she determined. “Take it easy until the Belgium match, all right?”

“How easy?” Robert said.

“Please, listen to me,” Emily said. “I’ve got your best interests at heart. Now…” Her hands moved down his body to his calf.

“How’s your left calf feeling?”

“Yeah, good,” Robert said.

“Uhuh,” she said, completely disbelieving. “And when you’re not showing off for your boyfriend over there?” she asked.

“Fine,” Robert admitted. “It hurts.”

“You’re pushing yourself too hard.”

“I’ve got no other option,” Robert said. “If I don’t push myself…”

“I know the pressure,” she said. “But I’ve got to get you through every match, Robert." She examined it thoughtfully. “That calf will end your career,” she said heavily.

“I know,” Robert said. “But maybe not this month, okay?”

She turned and looked at Aaron. “No sex. His body needs time to recover.”

“I am here!” Robert said indignantly.

“Yes, and I’m well aware that you don’t listen to me,” she said with a smile. “Please, Robert. Just… take it really easy. Please.”

“You do really know how to take the fun out of everything,” he grumbled.

“Right, take these painkillers, and you’re not training today.” She passed him over the pills. “One every four hours, no more.”

“Thanks. Can you let Richard know about training?” she nodded and packed up her equipment.

“Take care of yourself.” The door closed behind her and Aaron sighed.

“No sex, you’re not going to listen to her, are you?” Aaron said. Robert hesitated which was as good as an answer and Aaron sighed. “How are you feeling?”

“Rough,” Robert said as Aaron got into bed next to him, cuddling up to him, mindful of his injuries.

“Louise knows,” Aaron said. “About us. Being engaged.”

“How?” Robert asked.

“When you fell, she saw this,” Aaron said, touching the chain around Robert’s neck. “She grabbed mine and guessed.”

“Did anyone else see?” Robert asked, concerned.

“No, I don’t think so,” Aaron said. “And even if they did… I don’t mind so much.” Robert looked at him, smiling softly. “I’d prefer it to be just us for a while, but… I’m happy.”

“I love seeing you happy,” Robert said sincerely, kissing the top of his head. “We could go sight seeing today.”

“Is that the definition of taking it easy?” Aaron said.

“Well… no. But I can’t lay around in bed all day. You’re off limits, so it takes the fun out of it.”

“I’ll call down for breakfast in bed,” Aaron said. “Then, if you feel up to it, yes.”

“Perfect.”

* * *

They had a great day. Aaron could overlook the security guards they had, even though he’d have preferred to be alone with Robert. When they were back at the hotel room, and Robert was taking a slow shower, easing his muscles, Aaron called Chas. He hadn’t spoken to her since he got to Russia, and he wanted to tell her the good news. He hadn’t expected to be this buoyant and happy about it. He and Robert weren’t new, so he hadn’t expected being engaged to change his mindset, but it had. He liked being committed to Robert, he liked having his future tied to him. He liked having that certainty that whatever life threw at both of them, he’d have Robert by his side.

“Hiya love!” Chas said brightly.

“Hi mum,” Aaron said. “Everything okay at home?”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s all good,” she said dismissively. “How’re you getting on?”

“Great,” Aaron said. “I’m really enjoying it here. And… I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Oh?”

“Me and Robert… we’re engaged.”

“Oh!” Chas said surprised. And then silence which made Aaron feel uneasy.

“What?” Aaron said bluntly. “Go on, say it.”

“Just… are you sure about him?” Chas asked. “I love you, and I just want to make sure that…”

“I’m really sure about him, mum,” Aaron said, knowing that she was only looking out for him. “I don’t think…” Aaron hesitated. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Robert’s under a lot of stress, but I’ve never felt so… it’s weird, but good weird.”

“I’m glad,” Chas said. “I won’t speak against Robert, as long as he treats you well.”

“He does,” Aaron said. “We’re keeping it quiet for the time being, so…”

“I can keep a secret,” Chas said. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said softly, his hand going to the ring around his neck, touching it gently.

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” Aaron hung up the phone as Robert came out of the bathroom, a towel slung around his hips.

“Oh, now that’s not fair,” Aaron said, looking at him hungrily. “You can’t look like that when I’m not allowed to touch.” Robert smirked. His bruises were vibrant but Robert laid on the bed and Aaron curled up to him. It might not go any further, Aaron knew Robert valued this tournament too much, but Aaron wanted to touch him. He stroked Robert’s stomach gently.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Better than this morning,” Robert said, kissing the top of Aaron’s head. “Less sore.”

“Will you be all right for the last group match?”

“Probably,” Robert said, though there was a hesitancy in his voice and Aaron looked at him, waiting. “Belgium are ranked higher than England,” Robert said. “We need to win, but… I don’t have confidence we will.”

“You’ll be great,” Aaron said. “Trust me.”

“If we draw or lose, we’ll be relying on every other result going our way. I don’t know…” Robert tailed off and sighed heavily.

“I have faith in you.”

“I know,” Robert said.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I have an announcement! With this chapter posted, I've now written 1,000,000 words for robron on AO3. WOW! Thank you so much to everyone and anyone who's read my stuff, hit kudos, subscribed and especially commented. I'd have never got this far or kept going without support! Also this is proof that I entirely think about robron faaaaar too much than is healthy. That said, enjoy this chapter!

Robert wasn’t in the starting line up. The plan was to bring him on halfway through the match, to try and give the team a bit of energy, depending on how the score line was going. Robert felt himself doing Aaron’s trick of biting down on his bottom lip while watching the match unfold. It was tense and both teams seemed well matched, both desperate to win.

Chris scored first. Then Belgium equalised. Even the crowd seemed to know it was tense. At the beginning of the second half, things were starting to fray at the edges, the match turning dirty. Two yellow cards were handed out to both England and Belgium players. Belgium scored again, Robert feeling his spirits sinking. They were 2-1 down. They couldn’t afford to lose this match. Richard nodded at Robert and he started warming up on the sidelines, replacing Chris on the pitch. As Chris walked off, the crowd applauded him, giving away how many England fans in the crowd that had followed them to Russia. He gave Robert a look which said louder than words that he better play well. Robert didn’t take it any other way, he knew how important this match was. Going back home in disgrace wasn’t what any of the team wanted.

Robert got a chance within five minutes of being on the pitch. He was quite far away from the goal, but he took a shot anyway, the ball rebounding off the bar. Robert didn’t have the time to be disappointed, because Mark acted quickly, heading the ball into the net. Robert grinned. 2-2!! They’d probably make it through the group stages with two draws and one win. And when England scored ten minutes later, they weren’t in any doubt. 3-2. They’d made it through to the next round.

* * *

 

The team went out drinking in celebrations that night. Robert invited Aaron, and with a little reluctance, he agreed. He didn’t want to be the odd one out, but they were in a private bar (so photographers couldn’t get in) and there were so many people from the management side of the team, as well as the players that Aaron didn’t feel too out of place. And going out celebrating with Robert felt like a very good thing. The stress that everyone had been under felt like it had been released with a satisfying win. Whatever happened from this point onwards, the football team wouldn’t be going home with their tails between their legs. Not like four years ago.

For the first time since Aaron had turned up here, Robert was seeing him really let go of himself. Robert realised how much Aaron was doing for him, being here and supporting him always. “You look relaxed,” Robert said to him as Aaron picked up another beer, losing count for the night already.

“I am,” Aaron said, smiling a little. “Glad you scored.”

“I didn’t,” Robert said. “It rebounded off the post.”

“Yeah, well you did all the work,” Aaron said with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I love you,” Robert said, feeling so touched. He wanted to kiss Aaron, badly, but they didn’t do that, certainly not in public. Aaron could read him well, though.

“If you want,” Aaron said, lips twitching into a little smile. Robert grinned and tilted Aaron’s chin up before kissing him, a slow press of lips. It certainly held the promise of more later, and Aaron’s eyes had gone soft and loving.

“I want to take care of you tonight,” Robert said. “You’ve been doing so much for me lately.”

“You say that like it’s a chore,” Aaron said. “The pressure you’re under… it’s the least I can do really.” Robert curled his hand around Aaron’s head, keeping him close.

“Oi! Sugden! You’re lagging behind!” Steve shouted from the group of players, who had a row of shots lined up.

“Later,” Robert promised Aaron.

“I’ll hold you to that,” Aaron said. “Don’t get too drunk.” Robert winked at him.

* * *

 

The last sixteen match was against Columbia. It wasn’t a complicated match, a simple 1-0 victory. Which left the quarter final against Brazil. Now the tension was working up again. Robert kept scanning the British papers on his phone, which was probably a poor decision, but it was like he couldn’t help it. He had to know what they were saying. A few photos of Aaron and himself had turned up, but most were focusing on Sara, Steve’s wife who was always photographed in the most exclusive designer clothes all the time. Aaron in his three variations of a black hoodie didn’t really get the same kind of attention. So much the better. Robert didn’t mind the focus being on him and how he played. But he felt very protective about Aaron getting too much spotlight. Though if they won the next match, getting into the semi finals… there’d probably be nothing to do to help it.

The night before the quarter final, Robert couldn’t sleep, and Aaron didn’t want to drift off until Robert had got it off his chest. “Talk to me,” Aaron said.

“Is it… terrible if a small part of me hopes we’ll lose tomorrow?” Robert asked. “I want to win, but… there’s a little voice inside me saying if we lost… it’d be over. And against Brazil, there wouldn’t be any embarrassment coming home.”

“Are you feeling a little homesick?” Aaron asked.

“Can’t blame me,” Robert said. “I’ve got a nice full life. I want to get back to it. And… if we do win tomorrow, we’ll be against Spain for the semis. And I don’t want to play against Matteo. He’s a friend and… I don’t want to risk that.”

“You can’t go into it half hearted. You’ll kick yourself for years. And I’m not living with a bitter moody Robert for years, it’ll drive me crazy.” Robert huffed a laugh into Aaron’s hair.

“I want to get married as soon as we get home,” Robert said, making Aaron pull back and look at him. “You’re not happy about that,” he said, realising the look on Aaron’s face wasn’t joy.

“It’s not that,” Aaron said. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something, but… I was waiting until we got home.”

“Go on.”

“I don’t want to live up at Home Farm,” Aaron said. “I know this is going to be a big thing for you, but… it’s always going to feel like your place. When I moved in, I was moving in to your house. I want a place that’s _ours_ , not yours. Does that make any sense?”

“Yeah, it does,” Robert said slowly. “I’m okay with that. We’ll find somewhere new.”

“Really?” Aaron asked in surprise. “I thought that was going to take much more of a fight.”

“Aaron, I love you,” Robert said. “After the last month, the way you’ve supported me, I think I love you even more if that’s possible.” Aaron smiled at him. “If you’re not happy with where we live, we’ll find somewhere else. I won’t sell Home Farm though, I can’t. It meant a lot to me. When I bought it, I felt like I’d finally made it, like I was someone my dad could be proud of, finally. But… I want us to have a life together.”

“I don’t have that kind of money Robert,” Aaron said uncomfortably.

“Money’s not an issue,” Robert said. “You know that.”

“But… I can’t put in anything near to what you can on a house.”

“Money’s not been a problem between us before,” Robert said. It hadn’t. Barring mentioning how much Robert earned, it didn’t usually come up. It actually showed how strong their relationship was, that money didn’t really matter so much between them.

“You’re not with me for my bank balance,” Robert said. “I know that. But if my money makes life easier… why wouldn’t we use that?”

“If you’re sure,” Aaron said. “I know what people will say about me.”

“And we both know it isn’t true,” Robert countered. There had been a couple of articles about Aaron, back in March. Aaron had made a choice not to read them, and Robert had been livid when he himself had read them. But they both knew Aaron wasn’t a gold digger, he wasn’t after money. If they stayed together long enough, the press would realise that too. “We could work on a house, maybe for when we have kids.”

“You want kids?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “With you. Don’t you…?”

“I do,” Aaron said. “But not yet. I want a few years of just me and you. I’m only 22, there's no rush, right?”

“No,” Robert agreed, smiling slightly before kissing the top of his head. “No rush.”


	34. England v Brazil

 

Aaron felt wary before the match. There was no other way to describe it. He wasn’t sure which way the result would go, he just knew it would effect Robert, and therefore him. Louise next to him in the stadium was nervous too, he could tell.

“He’s not going to win, is he?”

“Because _that's_ helping.”

The first half was winding down, the score still 0-0 and Aaron could feel the tension building. Even the Brazil fans were tense. But then, that’s maybe what you got from a quarter final. Aaron wasn’t finding any of this particularly enjoyable.

Aaron felt torn, he wanted to go and find Robert during half time, but also knew that the likelihood of him being able to talk to him was relatively low. He sent him a text, even if Robert wouldn’t be able to see his phone right now the thought was there.

The second half started, and time seemed to be going away from them. 60 minutes with no goals. Then 70. They were quite literally running out of time. Whenever the cameras focused on Robert on the screens, Aaron could see he was tired and most likely pushing himself too hard. Which would be fine if England won, but if they lost it would hurt him a lot more.

“God, I can’t watch this!” Louise said next to him, almost burying her face in her hands, though her eyes were peeking above her scarf. Aaron didn’t know what to say, the tension was immense.

* * *

Full time and no score for either team, so they had the extra half an hour of playing time added on. Both teams were getting tired, almost like they’d completely run out of energy. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone in the stadium when the final whistle blew at 0-0, and it was going to a penalty shoot out. Robert felt a wave of nerves hit him. Historically England did incredibly poorly at penalty shoot outs, and the pressure on him to score… He knew that if they lost it from here a lot of the blame would land squarely on his shoulders.

Brazil were to take aim first. They scored at the first time of asking, to raucous cheering from the crowd. Then it was England’s turn… but no. They missed their first shot, the Brazilian goalie saved it. England were 1-0 down in a best of five which was hardly a good start. Then Brazil took their second attempt. Steven managed to save it, and it had been a cracking shot too. England fans applauded while the Brazil fans booed.

Robert felt so anxious and nervous that he couldn’t think straight as Chris went to take his shot next. He’d been trying to go for the right hand side of the net, but he’d misjudged it and it hit the post, bouncing back. England had had two attempts and hadn’t managed to score.

The next Brazilian player took his spot and Robert watched, with a knot in his stomach as he scored. Their opponents were 2-0 up, and it was Robert’s turn. He had to score, he simply had to. He had a hundred thoughts running through his head and he couldn’t stop thinking long enough to focus on a single one. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He made sure he was thinking about nothing except the ball in front him. Robert took a run up and kicked the ball. The goalie saved it, and Robert felt the weight of disappointment crush him completely. He’d missed. England were going to lose because of him. He hadn’t done the simple job of putting the ball in the back of the neck. Robert hadn’t even realised he’d crumpled onto the pitch until Chris was pulling him back upright. He must have looked gutted, and Chris dragged him back to the team, while they watched the Brazil player take a shot. It went in, confirming Brazil’s win and the next match in the semi final. Robert buried his face in his hands, he didn’t want to look at anyone, he didn’t want the camera’s looking at him, he just wanted to go home. And Aaron.

* * *

Aaron’s heart sank as Robert missed. He couldn’t take his eyes off the man he loved, who looked like the world had ended. He was being consolidated by his team mates, but Aaron could tell Robert wasn’t even feeling it, barely noticing. Aaron didn’t watch as Brazil finished the match, all his attention was on Robert. He was absolutely devastated.

“I need to find him,” Aaron almost shouted in Louise’s ear as the crowd erupted into cheers.

“Tell him to find me if he needs to,” Louise said, and Aaron nodded before zipping up his hoodie, and mentally preparing himself to try and sweet talk some security guards.

* * *

It took a while, but Aaron found Robert in the changing room, still in his kit, sitting down and head bowed, hunched over on himself. Most of the players were slowly filtering out and a few nodded at him in recognition.

“Robert,” Aaron said quietly. Robert showed no surprise that Aaron was there, but he also didn’t move either. Aaron crouched down in front of him, making Robert look at him.  
“It’s okay.”

“How?” Robert asked hoarsely. “How is it okay?”

“Well, it will be,” Aaron said. “I promise you, it’ll be okay in the end.” Robert didn’t speak, and Aaron grabbed his hand tightly in his, then thinking screw whoever was still in the room watching, and put his other hand to Robert’s face. Robert’s eyes settled on him, almost haunted with disappointment. “Come back to the hotel, deal with the fall out tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry,” Robert said.

“It’s fine. Get changed, come on.” Robert nodded once before slowly starting to move, slowly, almost gingerly. Aaron smiled at him and Robert forced the smallest smile back.

* * *

Robert had been so long in the shower that Aaron was starting to worry about him. Robert came back into the bedroom, moving a little stiffly.

“You pushed yourself didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, heavily landing on the bed. “I feel awful.” Aaron knew he didn't mean physically.

“We could order room service and you could get drunk on vodka,” Aaron suggested, only half joking.

“That won’t solve anything,” Robert said.

“How about this?” Aaron said. He didn’t know if now was the right time to mention it, but it might take Robert’s mind off the match for a few minutes. Aaron tapped on his phone and found what he was after. “A house for sale in the village. Well cheap too.”

Robert looked at the screen and brightened up. He didn’t say anything, but Aaron could read it in his face. “That’s down the road from the pub.”

“Yep,” Aaron said. “It’s cheap because there’s fire damage, but we could do it up ourselves. The way we want to. And I know it’s your money I’m spending, but… we wanted something in the village and houses don’t come up often.”

“We’ll have a look at it when we get home,” Robert said, though he sounded a little more interested.

“I want a life with you, Robert. Tonight… I know it’s bad, and I know it’ll be bad when we get back home, but… it’s not the end, you know?”

“I know,” Robert said. He leaned across the bed and kissed Aaron softly. “I don’t know what I did to be lucky enough to get you.” Aaron smiled at him.

“I’m sorry about today.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “So am I.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter chapter, but it's one of my favourites in this story, so I hope you enjoy it too! Thank you for the support on this story, only 3 chapters to go!

 

 

Aaron woke to hear Robert already moving around their hotel room. He tried to hurry himself back to consciousness. “You didn’t sleep, did you?” Aaron asked, groggily.

“Not much,” Robert admitted. “It’s fine.” Robert had showered, his skin was wet and Aaron watched as he put a shirt on, heart sinking.

“You’re not wearing your ring,” Aaron noticed with a thrill of fear. Robert’s neck was bare, no chain, nothing.

“I am,” Robert said, taking his hand in his own. Aaron smiled, seeing the engagement ring sitting on his hand. “I want the world to know you’re mine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Robert said. It was perfectly clear he’d been thinking about it all night. “And I’m going to insist on you wearing yours, as soon as we’ve got it resized.”

“I think that’s a fair deal,” Aaron said, smiling. Robert had shadows under his eyes, and Aaron knew he hadn’t slept at all. “It’s not your fault. The match.”

“It feels that way,” Robert said. Then he shrugged, wanting to change the subject. “I booked a viewing. For the house in the village.”

“Which you wanted to do when you were really upset?” Aaron asked in surprise.

“Well, I had a few hours and I wanted to think about something else,” Robert said. “And that’s something good. Unless you don‘t want to see it.”

“Of course I do,” Aaron said. “You know I do.” Robert ran his hand through Aaron’s hair for comfort. “Are we flying back today?”

“This afternoon,” Robert said. “In disgrace.” Aaron didn’t even bother disagreeing with him. “Thanks for putting up with me over the last few weeks. I know I’ve not been easy.”

“You’re never easy,” Aaron said. “It’s okay,” he added more seriously. “How are you?”

“I’ve lost matches before,” Robert said. “And important ones. I’ll get over it.”

* * *

 

They took a taxi to the airport, both not saying anything, simply being with each other in the quiet. There were a few photographers there, but nothing much. All the journalists that had any interest in them were British, and were coming home too, so it wasn’t that bad, which made Robert relieved. He didn’t want to put Aaron through more than he had to. The team were supposed to fly home together, but Robert had managed to put that off. He wanted to go home with Aaron, screw protocol. Robert did manage to get first class tickets though. Aaron grumbled until he sat down in the spacious comfy reclining seat and got given an ice cold beer before even having to ask. That stopped every complaint, Robert saw with amusement.

Robert spent a large portion of the flight watching him. Aaron was in profile to him, and he really was a beautiful man. Sometimes Robert almost forgot how gorgeous his fiancé was. He got to wake up next to him every day, he got to spend his life with him. But his eyes, his face, Aaron was almost beautiful. Aaron moved, touching the chain at his neck, almost absently and Robert grinned. He liked to know he thought of it, of them being married. Aaron’s thumb touched his ring and then he dropped his hand, focusing on whatever movie was playing on his screen.

Aaron must have felt Robert watching him, because he turned around, looking at Robert with a question before pausing the film. “What?” Aaron asked.

“I’ve been thinking,” Robert said, speaking lowly because of the other passengers. “I know it might be tricky, but… I want to get married in church.” Aaron stared at him in surprise.

“We can’t,” Aaron said. “We’re two men and Christianity still has a bit of a thing about that.”

“There’s ways around that,” Robert said, shaking his head. “We might not be able to get the paperwork done, but we could have the ceremony in church and sign the documents later.”

“You’ll have to convince Harriet,” Aaron said darkly.

“I’ve taken care of that,” Robert said. “I called her last night and offered a large donation to the church stained glass window appeal.”

“You bribed a vicar?” Aaron asked, amused. “There’s the Robert I know and love.” Robert rolled his eyes, but was still waiting for Aaron’s response. “Why’s this so important to you?” Aaron asked, not entirely following Robert. “You’re not religious, you’ve never mentioned church before.” Robert shrugged. But Aaron continued to look at him, and Robert knew he wouldn’t let this drop.

“My parents got married in Emmerdale church. My dad and Sarah, they got married there. It’s important to me that… when I’m saying my vows, committing myself to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with… I’d like it to happen there.”

“Of course we can,” Aaron said softly. “If it’s this important to you, of course.”

“Thank you,” Robert said. He leaned across the seat and kissed him gently. “It means a lot to me.”

“I can tell,” Aaron said. “We can get married wherever you want.”

“Plus, it’s got the added bonus of that was the first time I kissed you,” Robert said, a glint in his eyes.

“No, it wasn’t,” Aaron said. “That happened up at yours, at that stupid housewarming party you threw last summer.”

“Well… yeah,” Robert admitted. “But after Andy and Katie's wedding, that was the first time I really allowed myself to want you. To think how much I liked you and wanted to get my hands on you.” Aaron smirked.

“Not really appropriate for church, is it?” Aaron asked, making Robert roll his eyes. “Of course we can get married there. If you can swing it with Harriet.”

“I love you,” Robert said.

“Can I get back to the film?” Aaron asked, though he was smiling.

* * *

Once the plane landed in Manchester there seemed to be a delay. As soon as the doors opened, two airline personnel came onto the plane, looking around, and the woman smiled when she caught sight of Robert. “Ah, Mr Sugden…”

“What’s the problem?” Robert asked instantly. He didn't need the pleasantries.

“There are er… quite a few reporters and press at the airport, waiting for you to disembark.”

“Why?” Aaron asked.

“It seems that the media think you’re engaged,” she said, her eyes flicking to Robert’s left hand. Robert internally groaned. The ring must have been pictured when they were at Moscow airport. “It’s created quite a storm, so if you two would like to follow us, we’ll have the security to give you the utmost protection.”

Robert sighed, looking unhappy but he nodded at Aaron. “Grab your bag, come on.” Aaron nodded and they followed the two people leading them through the airport.

Nothing had prepared Aaron for the amount of journalists there. Seven or eight people deep, cameras flashing everywhere, journalists shouting trying to get their attention and Aaron knew he looked like a deer caught in headlights. Robert laced his fingers through Aaron’s, keeping his hand close, trying to offer him support. Aaron squeezed his hand tightly, needing Robert to help him. A lot of security had been called too, keeping the cameras back. Robert didn’t fully breathe until they were in the back of a taxi, their suitcases miraculously having appeared there already, and the driver leaving the airport, and the craziness behind them.

“All right?” Robert asked. Aaron however looked far from all right, his eyes darting everywhere, his breathing coming shallowly. Robert realised he was on the verge of a panic attack. “Hey, come back to me,” Robert said softly, both hands on either side of his face, trying to ground him, thumbs stroking his skin.

“Look at me. That’s it, now breathe slowly.” Aaron focused on his face and tried to calm down, looking in Robert’s concerned eyes. He focused on the colour of them, the blue green of his irises. Then the freckles dotted across his nose and cheeks, and it was familiar, it calmed him down.

“Okay,” Aaron breathed. “I’m okay.”

“Good,” Robert said. He dropped his hands from Aaron’s face, but gripped his right hand tightly, to let Aaron know he was still there.

“I don’t know what happened,” Aaron said. “All those people wanting to have a good long look at me, I…”

“Hey, it’s all right,” Robert said softly. “You’re here with me. And we’re nearly home.” Aaron nodded shortly.

“I know. Thanks.” Aaron shifted in the car, and rested his head on Robert’s shoulder, wanting to be held. Robert wrapped his arms around him, trying to make him feel safe. Aaron twisted his head and pressed a kiss to Robert’s chest. “I love you.”


	36. Chapter 36

Aaron walked into Home Farm to hear his fiancé moaning. “Not too bad?” Emily, the teams physio said, looking at his muscles critically.

“That’s good,” Robert said, voice faint. Aaron saw the physio giving Robert’s calf the once over, and Robert wasn’t exactly comfortable.

“Am I interrupting?” Aaron asked, though he didn’t really have any intention of leaving.

“No, she’s nearly done,” Robert said. She nodded, packing up her stuff.

“Take it easy, Robert,” she warned, smiling at Aaron before leaving. 

“I don’t like anyone else with their hands all over you,” Aaron stated before sitting down on the sofa, feeling grumpy and put out.

“There’s nothing in it,” Robert said, frowning at him.

“I know,” Aaron said. “Just telling you I don’t like it.” Robert tilted Aaron’s chin upwards and kissed him slowly.

“I only want you,” Robert said.

“I know,” Aaron said, kissing him again.

“I picked something up for you today,” Robert said, moving to find it in his jacket pocket. He found the box and then returned to Aaron.

“It’s finished?” Aaron asked brightly.

“I hope it fits,” Robert said sincerely. He took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Aaron’s finger, where thankfully, it fit well.

“It looks good,” Aaron said, voice quiet.

“Yeah, it does,” Robert agreed. He looked at their hands, both sporting rings and smiled. He was filled with a sense of rightness, that this was exactly what he wanted. He kissed Aaron again. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Aaron said. They shifted, curling up on the sofa together, Aaron‘s head on Robert‘s shoulder. “So, about this wedding of ours. We’re not having a massive guest list are we?”

“No,” Robert said. “I want Vic there. And Andy and Katie, I can’t get away from that one. Diane, Louise. Matteo might be nice, if he’s in the country. But I think that’s it for me. Who do you want there?”

“Mum and Paddy,” Aaron said quietly. “Adam, obviously. I think… maybe Cain and Moira, but I wouldn’t need anyone else. Does that sound good?”

“Perfect,” Robert said. “Are we going to watch the final or what?”

“Yeah, I guess we better had,” Aaron said. The final of the World Cup was this afternoon, and they’d agreed to watch it up at Home Farm, away from everyone else. Spain v Germany, and they were obviously supporting Spain. Mainly for Matteo, but even so. Robert flicked the TV on, they still had time, it was the pre match analysis at the moment, pundits predicting a score.

“Robert, do you still want me?”

Robert turned and looked at Aaron in surprise and astonishment. “Er… _**yes**_ ,” Robert said bluntly. “Why on earth wouldn’t I?”

“We’ve not had sex in weeks,” Aaron said, face going red. But he’d started, so he was going to carry on. “And I got it, I understood when you were in the middle of a tournament. But ever since we’ve come home, you’ve barely touched me.”

Robert tightened his arms around Aaron. “It’s not you,” Robert said, and Aaron stiffened. 

“Because I’ve not heard that line before,” Aaron said bitterly.

“It’s not,” Robert repeated. “I feel… after losing a big tournament like this, I feel like a failure.” Robert hated himself for the way his voice shook a little. Aaron twisted in his arms to look at him. “I hate feeling like this, and I will get over it. But I’m not really… in the mood right now. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you, or I suddenly don’t find you attractive, Aaron. Because of course I do. I’ve just got wounded pride.”

“You shouldn’t,” Aaron said. “It’s just a game.”

“It still hurts to lose,” Robert said. “It’s not about you. I’m sorry. If I’ve been making you feel unwanted lately. I wouldn’t be planning a wedding, a marriage to you if I didn’t mean it, or I didn’t want you.”

Aaron was quiet for a moment. “Just nice to know that you still feel that way.”

“If you really doubt it, we could skip the match and go straight to bed,” Robert suggested.

“I wasn’t pressuring you for sex,” Aaron said. “I just like to hear it every now and then.” Robert kissed him deeply, trying to convey just how much he did want him.

“Yeah, yeah, I get the point,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes. But for now, he just contented himself to be held by Robert, watching the game.

* * *

 

Spain won. Robert fired off a few text messages to Matteo, congratulating him, though he didn’t expect to hear back from him for a few days, when the hangover had worn off.

“I heard back from Harriet,” Robert said. “How do you feel about a month on Saturday.”

“For our wedding?” Aaron asked.

“Yes, of course our wedding,” Robert said.

“That’s soon,” Aaron said.

“Is soon… bad?”

“No,” Aaron said, smiling at him. “Soon’s… perfect. I want to marry you.”

“I hope so,” Robert said. He pulled Aaron into a kiss and lifted up Aaron’s T shirt, stroking his stomach, then higher.

“Robert, you don’t have to make a point of it,” Aaron said.

“My future husband was feeling unwanted,” Robert said, still with his hands on Aaron‘s body. “I’d like to fix that.” The line wouldn’t have worked, if it hadn’t been accompanied by Robert’s trademark smirk and his flashing eyes. Aaron wasn’t about to say no. He got on his knees before Robert could say another word and he grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a very short chapter, but I wanted the wedding to have it's own space. So just the wedding and the epilogue to go! Thank you so much to everyone who's been reading, leaving comments and kudos, it means the world to me.


	37. Wedding Day

Aaron straightened his suit for the twentieth time. He wanted to look right, perfect for Robert. He was in his old bedroom in the pub, as Robert had gone all traditional and wanted to spend last night apart, a decision Aaron thought was stupid.

“Hiya love,” Chas said, knocking and poking her head around the door frame. She was dressed and ready, a rather large hat perched on her head. “I never thought I’d see the day my boy got married! Are you all set?”

“No,” Aaron said, looking in the mirror again. “I’m a bit…”

“Nervous?” Chas asked, supplying the word.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “It’s stupid. I know there’s only us lot at the church and…” Aaron sighed.

“It’s okay to be nervous,” Chas said with a smile. “Unless this is a bit more than nerves and you want to get the hell out of here?”

“No,” Aaron said. “I want to marry Robert. I really do. But this is big.”

“I saw him this morning,” Chas said. Aaron looked at her in surprise. “He came in to the pub. Apparently for a drink, but he kept asking about you, and he looked eager.”

Aaron paused. “Was he in his suit?”

“Yeah,” Chas said, smiling at him. “I hope you’ll be happy with him.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Yes,” Chas said. “I can see the difference in you when you’re with him.”

“I love him so much.”

“Your tie’s crooked.” Chas straightened it.

“Do I look… good?” Aaron asked, feeling self conscious.

“Perfect,” Chas said. “Ready to get you married?”

“No, but let’s go,” Aaron said with a smile that felt somewhat forced.

* * *

 

Aaron stood outside the church, breathing deeply. He wanted this, but he’d also never felt this nervous before. Which was crazy, everyone in the church was family, for God’s sake, he’d probably lived with half of them at one time or another. Louise appeared, adjusting her shoe, bright red dress and bubbling with joy. “Ah, you’re here finally!” she squealed. “Robert’s stressed.”

“Why?”

“I wasn’t telling him,” Chas said pointedly, nodding at Aaron.

“Not telling me what?” Aaron said, looking between both women. “Come on, spit it out.”

“Robert’s security,” Louise said. “They’ve been overrun keeping the photographers outside the village.”

“What!!” Aaron shouted.

“It’s fine, they’re out of the village,” Louise soothed. “Robert just got a bit… irate.”

“Did he now?” Aaron asked, rolling his eyes.

“There’s no photographer here except the one you hired for your wedding photos. Promise,” Louise said with a wink. “You look great, Aaron.” She kissed his cheek before going inside the church.

“Give me a minute,” Aaron said to Chas. “I’m fine.” Chas nodded, and left to take her seat, and Aaron was alone. He tried to calm down, keep his breathing under control, but he could feel things slipping. He pressed both his palms to the rough stone of the church wall, looking at the ground.

“Last chance to ditch and run.” The voice spoke lightly and Aaron turned to see Robert there. He had a deep blue suit on and he looked incredible.

“God, you look amazing,” Aaron said.

“Thanks,” Robert said, smiling lightly. “It’s okay. If you don’t want to do this, if it’s too much, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay!” Aaron snapped. “Everyone’s in there, all the people who matter, and I keep messing it up in my head, losing my vows, things I want to say to you. And I’m nervous, and…”

Robert tilted Aaron’s chin up and looked at him levelly. Something about those eyes made Aaron calmer. “I don’t care about anyone else.” Aaron scoffed. “Well, I do. But I care about you so much more. Okay? If you don’t want to do this, we won’t do this.”

“Come on, it’s all arranged.”

“It’s whatever you want,” Robert said.

 _“We_ want,” Aaron said. Robert smiled, a beautiful beaming smile that made Aaron’s heart miss a beat or two. “I want to marry you today. I really do.”

“Then lets get married,” Robert said. Aaron nodded, and Robert kissed him. Aaron sank into it, enjoying Robert’s touch immensely.

“Please don’t mock me if I forget what I want to say,” Aaron said.

“I promise.” Robert gripped his hand tightly, and they went into the church together.

* * *

 

Aaron focused on Robert’s eyes as Harriet started the ceremony. Robert made him feel braver. If he’d thought back to before he met Robert Sugden, he’d never have dreamed that he’d be able to go through everything they had together in the last year. And he’d do it all again in a heartbeat, every single time.  
Before he knew it, it was time for Robert to say his vows. He’d had a tight grip on Aaron’s hand the entire time, for which Aaron felt thankful for.

“Aaron, I don’t think anyone would be able to understand what you’ve done for me. The support you’ve given me, the way you love me. But you know it, and you know how much it matters. That’s more than enough for me. You gave me a chance, when everyone told you not to. You waited for me, and you never pushed. You never wanted me to be someone I wasn’t.” Robert slid the ring onto Aaron’s hand. “I love you.”

Aaron looked into Robert’s eyes, and it helped him remember that this was just for them. Anyone else listening, it didn’t matter. He needed Robert to know how he felt.

“I didn’t expect to like you when I met you,” Aaron said. “I thought you were just some arrogant jerk.”

“I hope this gets slightly better,” Robert said with a smile, and the small gathering of their friends and family tittered with a laugh.

“I didn’t expect that you would change my life so completely. And so much for the better. I know our life together is going to have a lot of ups and downs,” Aaron said. “Things’ll happen because of who you are. And I might not always take it well, I might be a grumpy git, but I’ll be here, and we’ll get through it together. I don’t know what our lives will look like, what’ll happen, but I really can’t wait to find out.” Aaron slipped his ring onto Robert’s finger, squeezing his hand tightly. “I love you too.”

Harriet was acknowledging them husbands, and Aaron kissed Robert almost before Harriet gave the word. A soft, yet lingering kiss. They were in company after all. They shared a deeply private moment as they pulled back, both looking into each others eyes, the things words just weren't capable of conveying passing between them.

“Right, to the pub,” Cain said, and everyone else agreed, all congratulating them as they trooped out of the church. And Robert couldn’t remember feeling happier in his life.

* * *

 

The party was well and truly kicking off, Louise getting steadily drunk on champagne, when Robert grabbed Aaron’s hand and pulled him towards the door. Aaron followed willingly, both of them sitting on the picnic benches outside. “Wanted you to myself,” Robert said.

“For what?”

“Em’s been having a look at my leg,” Robert said. “She thinks I’ve got another season in me. I’m done at an international level, but for the premiership.” There was a pause Aaron was obviously expected to fill.

“Why’re you telling me?” Aaron asked.

“We should decide together whether I give it another year.”

“It’s not my choice,” Aaron said.

“We’re a team,” Robert said. “I couldn’t give you the added pressure, the scrutiny without even talking to you.”

“You’d give it up?” Aaron asked.

“I would if it wasn’t right for us,” Robert said. “But I’m also thinking a bit beyond. I have a final year, I save most of it, we have money for us and our future, and our family's future. As long as we‘re not stupid, we‘d be sorted for life.”

“You want to play,” Aaron said.

“Of course I do,” Robert said.

“Play,” Aaron said. “I love watching you. Not the England matches so much, but, yeah. It’s one year, right?”

“Are you sure?”

“You’ll regret it if you don’t,” Aaron said, and neither of them could argue that. Robert stroked Aaron's arm in silent agreement. “When do we sign the official paperwork?”

“Monday,” Robert said. “When the hangover’s worn off.”

“I don’t know about that,” Aaron said, making Robert smile. They fell quiet, listening to the noise from the pub, the distant happy sounds of their family. And Aaron felt secure for maybe the first time in his life. He wanted a house, filled with the sound of their kids, their happy hectic life. It was a dream he hadn’t even realised he had so vividly until this moment.

“I’ve never felt more… sure,” Aaron said. “Most of my life… I just get to tomorrow. I’ll just make it to the end of the week. But now I feel happy. And sure that I’ll get a future I want with you.”

“You could have said that in your vows,” Robert said, voice shaking at the sincerity in Aaron’s voice.

“That was just for you,” Aaron said quietly. “Everyone else might not get it, I’m sure there’ll be stuff written about how I’m after your money for years yet. But I’m sure, and I love you so much.”

Robert shifted, pulling Aaron into his arms, Aaron’s back against Robert’s chest, his head in the crook of Robert’s neck.

“There’s stuff I wanted to say to you too. Only you.” Robert took a deep breath. “Thank you. When I was struggling to come to terms with my sexuality. You never once pushed me, you were always okay with the limits I put on myself. And I needed that so much at the time, more than I think I knew then.”

“You were scared,” Aaron said.

“Yeah, I was,” Robert agreed. “And I needed someone to treat me with respect, the way you did.” Robert smiled to himself. “I’m glad you kissed me at that party.” It felt like a lifetime ago for them both.

Aaron pressed his body back into Robert’s. “I’m glad you went for it and kissed me in church a year ago.”

“You changed me,” Robert said softly.

“I didn’t,” Aaron said. “There was always a good guy underneath.” Robert kissed the top of his head. “We should go inside for another drink.”

“Five more minutes.”


	38. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a short little extra bit! Thank you so much for the support on this story, it's been overwhelming! 
> 
> I think this will be one of my last fics for robron. I know I've said this before, but it feels like it's time. I'm doing my big bang fic, and probably a few one shot kind of things, but for multi fics, I think I'm done. Thank you for all the wonderful comments, Kudos and subscriptions. I would never have got this far without your support!

**4 years later.**

The Mill was basically a free for all today, people coming and going, the atmosphere buzzing because it was the final of the World cup today. The weather had held, so Vic was outside, ordering people around for the barbecue. And everyone was letting her too. Vic, Adam, Chas, Diane, Andy, Louise, any varying number of the Dingles, everyone seemed to be popping in and out, the front door barely staying shut.

Grace was stirring from her nap in her crib. Robert had been amazed she’d slept at all with the racket that was going on. He quickly started to make up a bottle, she was always hungry after a nap, and finally they seemed to have got the routine down with her.

By the time the bottle was warm, Grace had started fussing, gearing up for a full blown cry. Robert picked her up and started feeding her, cradling her securely in his arms. Aaron was outside having a beer or three with Adam, which left Robert, for the moment, with a little peace and quiet.

Grace suckled on her bottle with perfect contentment, and Robert smiled. He’d struggled immensely when Grace was born. Aaron had taken to fatherhood like a duck to water, but for Robert it had been a bit more difficult. He hadn’t really connected with her for a few months. He’d wanted a child desperately, but once she was here, it was like Robert had frozen. He’d found that his entire life had been uprooted by a loud, demanding, inconvenient, time consuming child. He couldn’t laze around with Aaron in bed, he couldn’t do anything spontaneously, everything had to planned around this baby’s four hour schedule. And he hadn’t connected with her, he’d struggled to feel anything for his newborn daughter, which had made him feel so guilty in turn.

But now, they’d gotten over the patchy start, and he was completely in love with her. It helped that she was now six months old, and her own personality was coming out, shining through those blue eyes, the way she giggled and laughed, the way her brown dark curls looked just like Aarons. Or they did, when he didn’t gel his hair down.

Aaron came inside, and looked at the pair of them. “All right?” he asked. Robert nodded, sure and happy.

“We’re both fine,” Robert said.

“Good,” Aaron said. He kissed Robert’s cheek and ruffled Grace’s dark hair lightly. “I’m glad things have…”

“I know,” Robert said. He gave Aaron a quick wink, making him smile before Grace gave a satisfied burp, having finished her milk. “There you go, little one,” Robert said, putting her against his chest, cuddling her close. Her little warm weight was reassuring and Robert checked the time as Louise came into the house, smiling at both of them. Half an hour until kick off. The house quickly started to fill up and Grace started playing up to the new people, glowing eyes and precious smiles.

When Chas arrived with a smile, Robert reluctantly handed the baby over. She wanted her grandma cuddles and Robert wasn't about to object.

“We’re not going to win, you know,” Robert said as Adam came in, looking at the telly.

“Don’t say that!” he snapped.

“Brazil are better than us,” Robert said with a shrug.

Soon their house was filled with all their family and friends, all looking at the telly as the match started. Even Matteo was there, with his new boyfriend who looked so gorgeous that Aaron had done a double take the first time he’d met him. Robert had teased him later on about having his jaw hanging open.

Grace started fussing early in the second half, and Robert took her out of the living room, into the kitchen, needing some privacy and rocked her, shushing her quietly.

“Are you okay?” Aaron asked, closing the door on the “oohs!” from next door.

“Yeah, we’re good,” Robert said. “She’s no trouble.”

“England scored,” Aaron said.

“Oh?” Robert asked hopefully. “Good,” he added when he saw Aaron wasn’t winding him up.

“You’re a good dad to her,” Aaron said, coming near and putting both his hands on Robert’s hips, to keep him close.

 _“Now,_ I am,” Robert said, a little guiltily.

“You always were,” Aaron said. “You were worried about getting it wrong, that’s all.” There was more to it, they both knew that, but it had gone. It was in the past and things were so good for the three of them now. Aaron kissed him before (carefully) holding him, Grace sandwiched between them comfortably.

“I love my family,” Aaron said.

“So do I,” Robert replied, kissing Aaron’s cheek.

“I’m sorry it’s not you,” Aaron said. Robert frowned. “In the final.”

“I’m not,” Robert said sincerely. “I mean, I want the lads to win, of course, but I wouldn’t trade what I’ve got now for anything.”

“I love you,” Aaron said softly. Robert’s eyes sparkled at him, and he kissed him again.


End file.
